tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32760648574873654402024-03-13T07:33:51.747-07:00Angry Man SpeaksA colorful and brutally honest view on all things reality.Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-2308872594647969692012-05-23T17:07:00.003-07:002012-05-23T17:08:08.471-07:00The Phinal Curtain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iYF4-6H1m2w/T717z2wIEqI/AAAAAAAAAjc/9Mf9QYkZzpQ/s1600/phil+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iYF4-6H1m2w/T717z2wIEqI/AAAAAAAAAjc/9Mf9QYkZzpQ/s320/phil+eyes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At long last, we have an Idol show that felt well-timed and
without all the fluffy nonsense. Of course, we'll get plenty of that <span style="color: darkblue;">tonight</span> on the Results Circus.<br />
<br />
The venue has changed to the more raucous Nokia Theater and the production is
all dolled up like senior prom. Everything is fancy-pants and froufrou.
Everything except Phillip Phillips. Because P2 doesn't need it, he and his gray
garb, and his 5 o'clock shadow. Phil's entrance on the show last night was
beautiful. Tommy Hillclimber had to be one tortured soul last night when he saw
Phil. And Phil's answer to Seachicken about how does it feel to be on the big
stage for the finale was awesome--I call it profound gibberish. I can't type
what Phil said--there is no spelling or pronunciation for that. I would
actually like to download that sound as my ringtone...<br />
<br />
In any event, on with the show... Three songs for each. First round is Simon
Fuller's choice, Second round is singer's favorite past song, and Third round
is what their first single would be. Here's how it played out:<br />
<br />
Jessica Sandcastle - I Have Nothing (Simon Fuller's choice): Very wise and
appropriate song choice. Degree of difficulty substantial, and the execution
was close to flawless. However, it was predictable and somewhat boring. Jessica
doing a "diva" ballad--yes, yes... what else is new? Okay fair
enough--she gets an A on this one.<br />
<br />
Phillip "Can I get a kidney transplant" Phillips - Stand by Me (Simon
Fuller's choice): Mr. Fuller did Mr. Phillips no favors on this flaccid song
choice. This was unchallenging and uninspiring. Even Phil couldn't Phillipify
this weaksauce number. I am hoping that Phil makes a much better choice for
himself in round two. A solid B, but not his fault.<br />
<br />
I have to agree with the judges that Jessica won round one. Again, this was
taken out of the performer's control, and they both did the best they could
with the material. Jessica certainly had the advantage there.<br />
<br />
Now... let's get into the highly inappropriate, offensive and vulgar act called
"Perpetually grabbing my crotch" by Jason Duh-rulo. In all my years
of watching live performances, I have never seen someone grab themselves so
blatantly and frequently--are you freakin' kidding me? I would say he pawed
himself a good 15-20 times, right in the faces of the mostly younger crowd. I
am no fuddy duddy, but C'<span style="color: darkblue;">MON</span> MAN! I used to
play baseball, and have witnessed plenty of self-imposed groin grope on the
field, but cup adjusting is a necessity (sometimes, but not all the time--some
guys just like to do it...). That pales in comparison to this cluckknuckle. I
think Seakrust alluded to the "interesting" dance moves--we all knew
what he meant. I wonder how many parents will be writing letters to the show in
protest. Dear Idol, thanks a lot for the visual feast of crotch-grabbery,
asshats. </span></div>
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<br />
Now back to the real show.<br />
<br />
Jessica #2 - The Prayer (her fave song): Another ballad, ho-hum... It was
decent, but bordered on the theatrical and broadwayish. A bit too melodramatic
for me. Again, technically, it was formidable and she certainly has the chops
to pull it off, but been there, done that. The pattern is set in place, big
ballads all night long. I guess ya dance with date you showed up with, eh? B+<br />
<br />
Phil #2 - Movin' Out (his fave song): Great choice although I was guessing he
would have done the Jonny Lang song. Both winners, regardless. This time, he
brought more to the table. It was Phil doing Phil, but showing more pizzazz,
especially the very strong ending. Excellent choice, great performance.
Definitely an A.<br />
<br />
Jessica #3 - Change Nothing (poorly conceived single written by Keebler elves):
Agree with the judges on this. This is not in her cupboard of competency. I am
not sure who writes these "first single" songs, but they should be
slapped in the grill. They are almost never hits, they don't usually match up
to the performer's personality, and they are hard to stomach. This was screechy
and annoying. C+<br />
<br />
Phil #3 - Home (cleverly conceived single written by Smurfs and Hobbits): And
on the other hand... haha! A song written correctly and FOR the person
performing it. What a novel idea! Or perhaps, Phil changed it up? Regardless,
it was a great song, phantastic performance, just all-around goodness. Steven
said what I was thinking... it reminded me of Simon and Garfunkel. What a way
to finish the night. If it wasn't for the excessive humming at the end, I'd
give it an A+, but an A will have to do.<br />
<br />
Ironically, the performers peaked at opposite times last night, probably much
to the thrill of Phil and his constituents. Starting slow and finishing strong
will more often than not improve one's chances. With that said, I am going to
have to go with Phil winning this thing. <br />
<br />
Overall, the night was pretty even, but with the performers crossing paths in
the middle. Kinda like the elevator (Phil) that starts in the basement and goes
up, while the elevator (Jessica) that starts on the 10th floor goes down. </div>
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Rankings for the Final:<br />
<br />
Phil <br />
Jessica<br />
<br />
So that is it, folks... Another season in the books. The last several Results
Finale shows have been very entertaining and well done with lots of surprises,
so make sure you check it out. I will probably have one more postmortem article
to reflect on Season 11. Thank you for your support and unbridled enthusiasm. <br />
<br />
I look forward to seeing Heehaw Hand on the stand-up circuit and Colton and
Elise having more commercial success than anyone else from this season. Also it
wouldn't surprise me if Hollie Cabinslaw did well with the right songwriters
and producers.<br />
<br />
OVER AND...<br />
<br />
OUT<o:p></o:p></span></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-38498722259975893362012-05-17T15:18:00.004-07:002012-05-17T15:19:05.683-07:00One Man Stands<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And his name is not Joshy. Last night's two hour show
finally felt like a show worthy of 120 minutes. Nine songs, plus lengthy
hometown visits filled the time slot like a perfectly poured beer. We also got
to encounter Heehaw Hand in the crowd with the rest of the Top 10 performers.
Good old HeeHaw, always out to obtain squealing laughter from his
contemporaries. Seeing Elise and Colton sitting there had me contemplating an
alternate universe in which those two would be in the Final with P2.<br />
<br />
In any event, on with the show... the themes for last night fall in line with
seasons past. Judges pick, Performer pick and Producer (Jimmy the Hat) pick...<br />
<br />
Our first performer of the night is...<br />
<br />
The Reverend Joshy: Judges pick - I'd Rather Go Blind: I actually thought this
was pretty good, in other words, I didn't completely hate it. Of course the
judges gave it a standing O (what else is new?). It wasn't that great you
chuckleheads. Still, it was better than I expected. A-<br />
<br />
Joshy's pick - Imagine: Lamo-rama! In easily the worst round (for all three) of
the night, Josh picks this tepid song because it "means something to
him." What it meant for me was that he's gonna get knocked down a notch.
Even the butt-scotch-aroo kissing judges weren't all that jazzed. They tried
feebly to compliment this performance, but they weren't fooling anyone. C<br />
<br />
Jimmy's pick - No More Drama: Not as good as song 1, but miles better than song
2. However, it is just more of the same gospelly rigmarole that we are
accustomed to. We even get the stripper routine with the jacket being
tossed--that is HOT! NOT. B+<br />
<br />
Memorable Hometown moment: Joshy is definitely comfortable on stage in front of
thousands... he just ate that right up in his home coliseum. I believe Josh
will be creating a new genre of music called "Joshpel".<br />
<br />
Next up is Jessica Sandwedge... Judges Pick - My All: the softer side of
Jessica comes out in a very high degree of difficulty song. She surprisingly
shows some restraint and blew it away. This was a very good performance and
raised the already high bar even higher. She also didn't look like a child
prostitute for once, which is a good thing. A<br />
<br />
Jessica's Choice (and a bad one) - Don't Want to Miss a Thing: Another one of those
used up, already done eleventy jillion times songs... this song needs to be
retired! It's like listening to a thousand cats jumping off the Sears Tower. I
would call this very average at best, and in fact, she had pitch problems
towards the end. The last note was painful and warbled. In sum, it was just
ghastly, and probably my least favorite song of the night. C<br />
<br />
Jimmy's Choice - I'll Be There: It started out pretty good, and she even
sounded like Whacko there for a while. Then ghetto Jess came out and she
started doing that growling thing again. Growling like a bobcat aint gonna get
the job done here, not on this song. I think she </span><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT550"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT551">may have hurt her chances of landing in the finale. B- <br />
<br />
Memorable Hometown moment: Didn't know Jess was home-schooled and had a very
sheltered social life. No wonder she can sing so well if that is all she had
time for! (she probably hated her parents up until now). Performing on an
aircraft carrier would have been highly exquisite, and the helicopter ride
along the coast would be a ton of fun.<br />
<br />
And phinally, Philly Cheesedip... Judge pick - Beggin: I beggin' your pardon?
Never heard of this song, but man, was it a great choice by Steven for Phil?
Hellz ya it was! I had thought that both Josh and Jessica's performances would
be tough to beat, but Phil pulled out all the stops on this one. He nailed the
melody part as well as kept the "phil"elements alive. This is
definitely the kind of song Phil needs to be writing and performing. A<br />
<br />
Phil's Choice - Disease: Phortunately for Phil, everyone else sucked in this
round as well. How ironic that when they're picking their own songs, they
flubbed the dub. This was not bad by any means, it was just too easy. One of
the judges said he could do this song in his sleep, and I tend to agree. B-<br />
<br />
Jimmy's Choice - We've Got <span class="object4"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT553"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT552"><span style="color: darkblue;">Tonight</span></span></span></span>: wow, just wow... I was not
expecting that kind of subdued performance from Phil. I thought Jimmy the hat
was out to get him and that he was going to fall on his face, head, neck,
chest, breast and chin area. On the contrary, my friends. Phil just cemented
himself in to the finale with that absolutely brilliant and eclectic
performance. This was hands down, the best performance of the night. For the
judges to give "under construction" Phil a standing O, that is really
saying something. A+</span></span></span></div>
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<br />
Memorable Hometown moment: I think this was Phil's clip, but there was a shot
of a really pissed off and mean looking security guard pushing people away from
Phil. It only lasted a second, but it was AWESOME! Guess he was not enamored by
the whole screaming crowd thing. Also very touching was to see Phil get
emotional at the parade. I think that is the first time I've ever seen him
crack. Aww<span class="object5"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT555"><a href="http://www../" target="_blank"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT554"><span style="color: darkblue;">www..</span></span></a></span></span>.
<br />
<br />
All in all, a pretty decent night for all. You take away the middle round, and
we got a topnotch production. But because of the 2nd round, I'm going to give
the night to Philly, without a sliver of doubt. His 1st and 3rd performances
were stellar and were two of his best, if not his best performances of the
whole season.<br />
<br />
I am going to give the runner up award to Jessica by a very slim margin over
Josh, but only because her first round song was scintillating.<br />
<br />
Josh, sorry man, but it's so hard to look forward to your stuff. The first song
was good, then it just went downhill. Even though his 3rd song was favorable, I
was, at that point, not interested.<br />
<br />
With that said, I was actually motivated to throw some votes Phil's way. I
dialed 20 times and got through twice, so hopefully that's a good sign.<br />
<br />
And even though Jessica edged Josh slightly, I think Ms Sanchez will be headin'
for home this week. The first guy/guy finale since Dave Cook vs Bearhair
Archuleta. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X6cvfytXegY/T7V4mQsOhRI/AAAAAAAAAiw/hIVKaf1tEAE/s1600/cook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X6cvfytXegY/T7V4mQsOhRI/AAAAAAAAAiw/hIVKaf1tEAE/s320/cook.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
I just hope that Phil can carry this exceptionally timed momentum swing for one
more week. <br />
<br />
Stay thirsty my friends...<br />
<br />
<br />
OUT<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X6cvfytXegY/T7V4mQsOhRI/AAAAAAAAAiw/hIVKaf1tEAE/s1600/cook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-24146226381220418422012-05-10T15:10:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:12:36.003-07:00Silly Sing & Swing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t_eIXPyHtMQ/T6w9RM34QzI/AAAAAAAAAik/K0zjJk5qCXk/s1600/phillip_phillips_ll_120308_wblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t_eIXPyHtMQ/T6w9RM34QzI/AAAAAAAAAik/K0zjJk5qCXk/s320/phillip_phillips_ll_120308_wblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Last
evening's two hour extravaganza marathon Idol event was pretty entertaining and
certainly had its share of stupendous performances. However, these two hour
monsters are becoming more about the show, rather than the singing.<br />
<br />
Let's cut some fat, shall we... Thankfully, the Tommy Hillswinger experiment
disappeared into the night with nary a whisper. His impact was certainly
realized by Phil Phillips, with a big goose egg. So that segment is gonzo...
How about we cut the Coke guy out - you know, the dude with the bling-bling
neck brace... Do we need that distraction? Personally, I could care less, and
will fast forward his azz off my TV during the finale. Although I like the
"behind the scenes" bits, we have had them several weeks in a row, it
seems. It has reached a level of superfluous-ness and will render future shows
less impactful. Unrelated filler like the Rock of Ages piece should be played
on <span class="object3"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT226"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT224"><span style="color: darkblue;">Thursday</span></span></span></span>
nights, not Wednesdays. That just turned out to be a huge marketing gimmick for
the movie, simple as that. It is my opinion that they ran a rehearsal and still
came up with extra time, and therefore threw in the GROUP song with all four
singers. Save it for <span class="object4"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT227"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT225"><span style="color: darkblue;">Thursday</span></span></span></span> nights. Bring the show
back to an hour, please. And thank you for your time.<br />
<br />
Now onto the show... The themes were 1. Random? and 2. "Songs I wish Judas
Priest would perform on the show." Oops, wrong crowd... I meant,
"Songs they wish they would have written."<br />
<br />
Bring it on!<br />
<br />
Philip Squared or P2 - Have You Ever Seen the Rain: Phil defies the laws of
pitch. It don't matter what he sings, it's like he's immune to pitch issues
because he's just so damn unique. In any event, the unkempt and unshaven Phil
chose wisely and performed brilliantly. A- Volcano: One of Phil's best
performances to date, definitely the right kind of song to showcase his quirky,
indie sensibilities. He's BAAAACK! A<br />
<br />
Holly Cabinboy - Faithfully: Hot steak Hollie continues on the path of
redemption by doing this Journey remake. And she has some mighty Swiss miss
marshmallow balls to be taking on a song that the DAWG performed a zillion
times. Nearly flawless and good for her for making this a competition. A I
Can't Make You Love Me - Oh Hollie, wrong song for you, girl! You were
pretending to feel this, but you are too inexperienced to connect... Although
it wasn't as bad as the judges said it was, it was not up to par with everyone
else's 2nd efforts. B<br />
<br />
Josh The Messiah Leadhead - You Raise Me Up: Meh... Nothing to see or hear
folks. Same old, same old. Boring song, typical Josh performance. Not to say
it's awful, but it is mundane and routine. Of course, the judges ate it up, and
Josh just stands there smiling that smug smile. B- It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s
World: Better than his first performance, this song at least had a pulse higher
than that of a zombie. Did it deserve a standing O? Of course not, but did you
expect anything less? Same answer. A- <br />
<br />
Jessica Saladshooter - Let's Steal Away: What was up with all the suitcases on
stage? Is this a singing competition or the train station to Hogwarts? This was
just ok for me. Not her best, but not utter crap like last week's Proud Mary.
She's got the growl down for sure. B+ And I’m Tellin’ You: As Jimmy the Hat
mentioned, you back Jessica in a corner and she fights back like a pissed off
honey badger. This was, for me, her best performance to date. I am not a big
fan of Jessica, but she hit this one out of the park, and onto Waveland Ave.
(that’s for you, Cub fan). Range, tone, pitch, dramatic ending... All near
perfect. A<br />
<br />
Duet 1 - Philly/Joshy - This Love: 100 times better than last week's sack of
sadness, You've Killed That Loving Feeling. Best duet ever, Steven? No, but it
probably seemed like it, comparatively speaking. Phil stood out over Josh,
hands down. A<br />
<br />
Duet 2 - Hollie/Jessie - Eternal Flame: How about internal bleeding. Nice swing
set on stage. This was goofy and awkward from the get go. Only when the two
doofuses came out and played on the swing, did it get entertaining. Boys get an
A, Girls C+<br />
<br />
Quartet Combo - Waiting for a Girl/Guy Like You: Gratuitous time killer. At
this point in the show, I am ready to drink paint. Please stop the madness of
trying to cram in all this filler garbage. Group numbers, as I had mentioned,
are for <span class="object5"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT229"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT228"><span style="color: darkblue;">Thursday</span></span></span></span> frickin' night. That said,
the only part of the song that was interesting was when they cross harmonized
on the chorus. Otherwise, blahhhh... B<br />
<br />
Ryan Seakrust - Julianne Hough interchange: Just stop it. Please. F<br />
<br />
So here are the rankings for the night--very close:<br />
<br />
Phil<br />
Jessica<br />
Hollie<br />
Josh<br />
<br />
Good to see 'ol grayshirt back on top. <span class="object6"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT231"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT230"><span style="color: darkblue;">May</span></span></span></span>
his good fortune continue for three more weeks. Had Hollie picked a better
second song, she would be giving Phil a run. Jessica put herself back in contention
with a solid night. Josh, it would seem, is cooler than Obama, the Pope and
Brad Pitt combined. He is good, but not near as good as the three Kool-Aid
drinking judges make him out to be.<br />
<br />
I see both Josh and Hollie in the bottom two. Will we have a shocker outing
with Josh going home, or has Hollie finally relinquished her ninth life?
Goodbye Swiss Miss--you made me a fan, which all but guarantees you will be
voted out, and for that, I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
<br />
OUT</span>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-269252248962121072012-05-03T16:01:00.001-07:002012-05-03T16:01:06.181-07:00It's Raining Royals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Due to BUSY time, I'll be keeping this short folks... Last
night was British and 60's themes. Elise missed her boat on this one! She had
all that classic British rock at her fingertips. Speaking of poor Elise, I told
a few of you after the fact, that I wasn't surprised she was gone, for the
following reasons:<br />
<br />
a. Idiots and tweens are voting for the wrong people<br />
b. Song Choice, song choice, song choice<br />
c. Not the right demographic for typical voters (again, those teenage rodents
making their impact felt throughout history).<br />
<br />
That said, and with Hollie coming on strong, I guess it is easy to see any of
them leaving the show at this point.<br />
<br />
Very cool to see Silvio from the Sopranos as the guest mentor. His rapport with
Jimmy "the hat" Bovine was pretty entertaining! I felt as though
someone was gonna get whacked. <br />
<br />
Let's get it on, cmon!</span><br />
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<br />
1. Holy Caymanislands - River Deep Mountain High: I believe this got the only
Standing O of the night by the cheese-filled judging panel. Great song choice,
great advice from Silvio and great performance by Swiss Miss. Solid A; 2nd Song
- Bleeding Love: Hollie's voice is like buttah! It's so smooth and tasty!
Seriously, AWESOME job and thanks again go to Silvio for his advice to her to
just sing to "one" person, not a huge crowd. It was a little sappy
for me, but perfectly executed. A-<br />
<br />
2. Philly Cheese - The Letter: Mr. "No Melody" picks a good song and
"phil-asized" it completely to his "wheelhouse". Still, it
just comes across as typical Phil-andering and Phil-osophy... Been there done
that, Capt Drab. Because I still like Phil and he's fun, B; 2nd Song - Time of
the Season: It's time in the season to probably vote Phil out, unfortunately.
This was Phil's worst performance EVER. I think he's performed better in his
sleep, with a mouthful of chiclets. Although he shot for melody, he came up
with travesty, and the falsettos and high parts ate him alive. I actually
cringed like hearing nails on a chalkboard when the chorus came up... Oh my
that was like watching your best friend jump down a elevator shaft. C-<br />
<br />
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<br />
3. Skillet Laine - Fortunate Son: Skylar brings her usual peppy and
enthusiastic self to the party as usual, but for some reason, this didn't
affect me at all. It was a bit milquetoast for my taste. The song has been done
a zillion times before, this one added twang and sickening steel guitars. Hello
Phil, new chalkboard is in town! Anyway, not my fave for Skylar... B; 2nd Song
- You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me: Sung much better and intimately than her
first one. However, what the hell was this getup with people sitting on a park
bench. How distracting is that. And is Skylar singing to them or about them?
I'd be choking them for stealing my scenery--those chuckleheads. A-<br />
<br />
Duet #1 - Philly and Josh-duh: Honestly, how could you take this seriously? It
was sung either poorly, or over the top, or both. I did like Phil's fearless
banter with Joshy before and after the performance, but seemed like Joshy was
taking offense to the flirtatious overtones of one Philip the Prince of priceless
facial tics Phillips. Geez, Josh, a bit homophobic, or maybe just don’t like
other dudes getting in his personal space... hmmmm Sorry guys, this was C
(which stands for comedy, calamity, catastrophe)<br />
<br />
Jesska Spamcheese - Proud Mary: Started in typical Jessica balladic style,
which was boring, then got fist pumping good. Jessica was up to task on the
"rock" sensibilities of the song, which she bombed miserably on last
week. Overall, nicely done and with a solid money note at the end. A-; 2nd Song
- You are So Beautiful: This kind of song is perfect for Jessica's syrup-like
delivery--she knows how her bread is buttered. The sitting on the floor with
candles was interesting---thank goodness her dress didn't catch! Grade: A<br />
<br />
Josh "the anointed one" Ludevisk - Aint Too Proud to Beg: or too
proud to pick something out of your comfort zone. This was like having Skylar
sing Chattahoochie Koochy, or some silly country song that a 4 year old could
sing. No challenge whatsoever, but the judges continue to salivate and ooze
green slime over this guy. Yes, he's very good, but he is not the best Idol
ever, or whatever pompous thing Steven said. Therefore, Josh gets the annual
title of "the anointed one." Song only gets a B; 2nd song - To Love
Somebody: Better than his first song, but at that point I was too distracted by
Josh's greatness that all I could see were sparkles in his teeth and eyes as
the sound of Heaven was emanating from this man. According to the bum-licking
judges, Josh will save the planet with his music like Bill and Ted did in
"Excellent Adventure. Unfortunately, it feels more like a bogus journey.
Song=A Judge Buttwiping=D-<br />
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<br />
Triplet #2 - Jessica, Hollie and Reba - Your Love is Lifting me Higher: the two
divas and the ghost of Reba take on this song and despite the weird
arrangement, I thought it was fun and showcased all three pretty equally. I
would probably give Hollie the nod for the best of the three. It's just her
night! A- <br />
<br />
Rankings for the night:<br />
<br />
Hollie<br />
Josh<br />
Skylar<br />
Jessica<br />
Phil :(<br />
<br />
Sorry Philly, you were simply outclassed for the first time all season by all
your competition. Damn those kidney stones. I do like watching his demonic
possession faces he makes as he sings--very beguiling.<br />
<br />
Bottom three is anyone's guess, but I am going with Hollie, Jessica and Phil. I
think Phil has been bailing water out of a sinking boat for quite some time,
and he is finally resigned to letting the old rust bucket go under. Good to
know ye!<br />
<br />
I wish him well--he was a good sport. Stay tuned next week for 3 Divas and a
Judge's Pet.<br />
<br />
I can't wait for Hollie to win this whole thing--man, I love comebacks!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
OUT<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">First of all,
I apologize for not having an Idol update last week, as I was in Maryland on
business... In fact, I didn't even get to watch it. I was very DISAPPOINTED to
hear, however, that Colton was given his walking papers. Once again, America is
a bunch of doofuses, and Idol should be ashamed of themselves for allowing the
voting structure to wallow in the muck of absurdity.<br />
<br />
Back to last night's show... GREAT theme night with Queen, and seeing Brian <span class="object3"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT278"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT276"><span style="color: darkblue;">May</span></span></span></span>
and Roger Taylor still alive and kicking is pretty awesome. The medley at the
front end of the show was miles better than the usual tripe they do on <span class="object4"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT279"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT277"><span style="color: darkblue;">Thursday</span></span></span></span>
nights. Watching some of the footage of classic Queen with Flamboyant Freddy
Mercury was priceless. The other part of the night was Performer Choice, but I
was very perplexed by some of the song selections.<br />
<br />
So how do the performers fare--did they rock us, or did they cave in to being
under pressure?<br />
<br />
Jessica Saycheese - Bohemian Rhapsody: Sorry little Jessi... not your forte.
Although she sung the slow parts good, she blew chunks on the rock sections.
This song should have went to someone else. C+ Jessi's 2nd song was "Luke,
I am Your Father" by Darth Vader. Actually, this was quite impressive. She
made up for her earlier gaffe with this number. Although not a fan, I gotta
give her props for hitting this out of the park. A<br />
<br />
SkyMall Lane - The Show Must Go On: Skyler is becoming a star right before our
eyes. Her stage presence is better than anyone else on the show and she can
belt. I hate to say it, I am now a fan. HAHA!!! Mark, what the hell are you
smoking? Her and Josh are now in the driver's seat for the finale. She is
consistent and has not had a bad performance yet. A- SkyMall's 2nd song was
"Tatoos on this Town"... Ok, never heard of it, but sounds like
twangy country again. It just doesn’t matter. This "thick boned" girl
(as Hollie called her) is dialed in. I think she would have given Scotty a run
for his money last season, moreso than Lauren Alaina... B+<br />
<br />
Joshy Leadfoot - Crazy Little Thing Called Love: Cmon judges, REALLY??? A
standing O?? I beg to differentiate--it was good, but not THAT good. I will say
that Josh has stepped up his game and is clearly a frontrunner now, but the
judges are being a little too charitable on the schmoozing and pimping. Enough
already... Still, that was pretty damn good... A Josh's 2nd song was
"Ready for Love"... Not familiar with this song at all, but it was
pretty intense and grabbed your attention like a python grabs a rat. However,
once again, it did NOT deserve a standing O! Are the judges being paid off by
the Reverend Leadfoot??? Lordy Lordy!! A-<br />
<br />
Elysium Toastwand - I Want it All: This was good, but somewhat underwhelming...
She should have been the one to sing Bohemian Rhapsody, not Jessica. It had
some good rocker qualities, but just felt a little undercooked. B+ Elise's 2nd
song was "Bold As Love"... Have to agree with the judges here--she could
have picked ANY song she wanted and she went obscure with this--what the hell
are you thinking, Elise? Elise <span class="object5"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT281"><span id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT280"><span style="color: darkblue;">may</span></span></span></span> be going home due to song
choice, not lack of talent. This happens all the time, and yet, people don't
learn. B-<br />
<br />
Philip Flipodelphia - Fat Bottomed Girls: That's what makes Philip go round!
This is the Grayman we wanted to see the last couple weeks! Nicely played. How
funny were the snippets of his roommates making fun of his stage mannerisms and
creepy psycho possessed faces he makes when he sings? It's true! Great song
Phlippy! A Phil's 2nd song was The Stone. Ok, are he and Elise studying how not
to win Idol together? Another obscure and very "arthouse" song for
Phil... As opposed to "wheelhouse", right DAWG?? Love the guy, but he
and Elise are no longer front-runners. Personally, I kinda dug the vibe of the
song, but America won't... B-<br />
<br />
Hally Cabinslaw - Save Me: Hollie is coming on strong as of late, and has
screwed up all the voting and plans for everyone. She is the proverbial wrench
in the gears! The last couple weeks have seen her go from zero to hero. It used
to be a given that little Swiss Miss was a shoo-in to go home... Not anymore.
B+ Hollie's 2nd song was <br />
a Miley Cyrus song (ugh, did I really type that name?)... However, Hollie
demonstrated how a real singer would sing it, which is why she got so many
glowing reviews of her performance. She really did blow the doors off this and
I thought I was going to absolutely hate it. She changed my opinion--what can I
say? A<br />
<br />
Rankings for the night:<br />
<br />
Josh<br />
Skylar<br />
Hollie<br />
Phillip<br />
Jessica<br />
Elise<br />
<br />
So who is going be singing "we are the champions" and who is going to
"bite the dust"?<br />
<br />
Bottom 3 could be anyone... I don't trust America to vote with their heads. I
fear that Elise is probably going home. She did not win any new fans and for
fans like me, she didn't inspire us to vote. This is unfortunate. Jessica would
have been much higher, but her Queen rendition was sung more like a Jester. <br />
<br />
Also, I just want to say, I am not a proponent of these two hour shows. My
wheelhouse is stuck on Idle.<br />
<br />
<br />
OUT<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-29372902485770074522012-04-05T15:12:00.000-07:002012-04-05T15:14:38.795-07:0080's - Stuck in IdolLast night, it was 80's Night on Idol, so naturally being an 80's kid, I was excited by the prospect of actually having a good show, maybe even better than last week's. Well I have been wrong on a few occasions, and my expectations got their @ss kicked last night.<br /><br />There is a lot of great material in the 80's from a musical standpoint, and I felt that a ton of it got left on the table. I'm sure part of the reason is the age of the performers--they don't really know the 80's that well, and therefore can't connect to the music. This was clearly the case, as this show was a buzzkill and slapped the fun right off my face...<br /><br />Once again, we have a two hour show for eight performers, which means duets. The duets were probably the highlight of the evening. The show begins with a dramatic scene of Heehaw getting the heave-ho, complete with musical dirge reeking of melodrama.<br /><br />Then the judges come out, and I must say Randy is dressed even more clown-like than normal.<br /><br />Gwen Stefani and her bass player were the chaperones for the 80's, which is weird because I don't think she or her band were around in the 80's... Oh well, were any of us around (mentally) in the 80's? <br /><br />Let's get to it--leading us off last night was...<br /><br />Deanjaya Packnship - I like it: I didn't really like it. However, it was definitely his best performance of the season. I didn't hate it as much as usual, because he used his regular voice and not just the falsetto that has been defiling our ears. We will probably have to endure his ramen noodle covered head for a while longer... B- <br /><br />Elise Testarossa - I Want to Know What Love is: Ohhh Elise, why the hell didn't you sing Hallelujah??? You would have brought the house down! Instead, you give us a sloppy ballad in which you got pitch-slapped, and you didn’t look comfortable at all. I don’t know whether to blame the Mentors or Elise herself, but this was a stale performance. After the last two weeks of kicking butt, she will be at risk of going home again. C<br /><br />Duet #1 (Colton and Skylar - Islands in the Stream): At first, I was like, what the he11 is this? Colton singing country? However, it was done very well, and he pulled it off. Skylar was right in her element. A<br /><br />Philly Phillipian - That's All: That is what I was asking myself after that performance... What is going on here? The best of the competition, IMHO, Elise and Phil are actually looking very uncomfortable and not sure of themselves for the first time. I think he was nervous that his bro-in-law was up there. AND, speaking of that, the bro played some real questionable off-notes towards the end of the song... I was not a fan of this one, but he will redeem himself. B-<br /><br />Duet #2 (Hollie and Deanjaya - I'm So Excited): Meh... this wasn't anywhere near as good as the first duet, and was high school play-ish... Very vanilla, very gray, like Phil's shirts. C Actually, Phil's shirts have more personality than these two.<br /><br />Jorsh LaBeck - If You Don't Know Me By Now: Another powerful vocal, another weird sportcoat with strange patterns on it. Where does he get this stuff? In any event, Josh did his thing, which is to slightly lose control and go into a mini-conniption. This behavior seems to be rewarded by the judges. However, if he does it next week, what will they then say? Dawg, you gonna havta stop using the over-da-top singing and just be real, dawg. B<br /><br />Yessica Manwich - How Will I Know?: So we now know that Jessica's alter ego is "Baby Cheese"... Not sure what that means, but okay... The Diva in Waiting picks another Diva song, this one by Whitney Houston. She is very good, but not great on this rendition. It was just aight. However, the Dawg says that Jessica "gotta have it!" And I thought that Cold Stone doesn't sound very good right now. B+<br /><br />Duet #3 (Elise and Phil - Stop Dragging my Heart Around): What I thought were the two contenders to win the show are singing together. I think both Philly and Elise showed considerable improvement here from their solo performances. A-<br /><br />Holy Cabinfever - What a Feeling: What a feeling it is to be at the bottom of the votes, eh? That is where Hollie will be tonight with that really awful performance. Poor, poor little Swiss Miss girl... She has no idea who she is or what to do with her voice. She is such a nice gal, but her nerves, over-thinking and lack of confidence has taken its toll. It was the first time the mentors gave good advice, and she didn't take to it. D+<br /><br />Duet #4 (Josh and Jessica - I Knew You Were Waiting for Me): Actually, this was very good, and I would put it up there with Duet #1 as overall best of the night. I didn't know Jessica could growl like that and just go off, like Josh usually does. She matched him growl for growl... it was like they were in a duel, rather than duet, but it was really fun to witness. A<br /><br />Cotton Blitzen - Time After Time: I was impressed that Colton admitted to ripping off the band that re-made this Cyndi Lauper tune. We all knew it would be some goth/rock version, but you still have to perform and have conviction. In both cases, Colton succeeded. I really liked the version he did, even though he still wears skinny jeans. And yah the drummer was freaking awesome! Band = A+ Colton = B+<br /><br />Skylark Lemon - Wind Beneath My Wings: She was given the money slot and delivered the goods last night. As much as I am Phil and Elise fans, Skylar blew away the competition. This is no huge feat mind you, since the night was disappointing overall, but by the end of that song, she was owning that stage. I honestly didn't know this gun-toting cowgirl had those big notes in her. And, they actually gave her something flattering for her to wear for once. No more bottom 3 for Skylar (until next week)... A <br /><br />What to do, what to do... hard to rank last night, as the worst went to first, and the favorites floundered. However, one can see that I am hardly biased based on the grades. I'm objective, dammit! Haha... :)<br /><br />Rankings<br /><br />Skylar<br />Colton<br />Jessica<br />Josh<br />Phil<br />Deanjaya<br />Elise<br />Hollie<br /><br />Disappointing night for me as my two heroes took a slight tumble. Phil will survive this, but Elise has a razor thin margin of error to deal with. She will be in danger of bottom 3 again. Deanjaya had a great night (for him), but it was just ok. Lucky for him that everyone else was mediocre and that the judges seem to be pimping him. It's actually irresponsible that they are going all out to make him sound better than he does.<br /><br />I think the bottom 3 will be Deanjaya, Elise and Hollie. Swiss Miss should get the axe, as she is trending towards mediocrity and Deanjaya's stock is rising, much to all of our chagrin. I'm ok with either one of them leaving. Let's hope that Elise gets enough votes from rockers that remember her last two weeks performances were topnotch and she deserves to stay. <br /><br />And finally, I can't believe no one did a Duran Duran or Flock of Seagulls song!!! It's the 80s, ya noobs!!!<br /><br /><br />OUTAngry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-9974672162437349392012-03-22T13:05:00.014-07:002012-03-22T15:08:31.849-07:00Sing Me a Song Piano Punk<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 113px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722818911903414130" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VpNYQcLzDWg/T2uJesXj93I/AAAAAAAAAhs/MR9Jg9iLE3w/s200/Billy%2Bjoel.jpg" /><div><div><div><div><br /><br />Last night, we were presented with the Billy Joel songbook, which contains a vast collection of rock, pop and bubblegum ballads. Most of the performers last night probably have never heard of Billy Joel or maybe they think he's some redneck named "Billy Joe".<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>In any event, you could definitely tell that some of the singers appreciated the artistry that is Billy Joel, and some didn't connect or even take the material seriously.<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>We were also subjected to the fashion expertise of the one and only Tommy Hilfiger, who coincidentily was in the news lately for running sweat shops in Bangladesh. Although, he has agreed to "upgrade" the facilities, it appears to only be in retrospect of being busted. Shame, shame, Mr. Hilfiger...<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>In addition, we have the musings and mastery of one "Diddy". I remember when his name was Puff Daddy. I wonder what happened to the Puff part. I'm thinking it's still there, just well hidden by his PR team.<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>So we are down to our Top Ten finalists. Funny how the best performers last night were the ones that stuck to their guns regarding fashion, hair and appearance. Bravo to you stubborn cats!<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Without further ado, let's get to it...<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Dirtlaundry Brackencrap: Only the Good Die Young - Let your hair flow, Rapunzel... this was the only good advice he got all night. Even so, the song was just "meh". His voice is grating on the ears and on the nerves. He was pitchy and forgettable. This song deserves better... D+<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Erika Van PattyMelt: New York State Of Mind - Erika gets a total makeover in the hair and apparel categories and damn it worked. She killed this song in a good way. This is the song that propelled Kim Locke in season 2 to a top 3 finish and Erika matched her note for note. I think the new image will work for her, but let's hope America throws some much-deserved votes her ways... A<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Josh Leadfoot: She’s Got A Way - Josh was clearly either unfocused or uninspired by the "Billy Joe" book of songs. He wasn't his usual soulful self. Probably his weakest performance to date. Still, he's miles ahead of Sanjaya I and II. However, Josh gave a flaccid performance and therefore gets a flaccid... C<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Skylark Lemon: Shameless - Let's get one thing straight... Skyler did NOT do a Billy Joel song, she did a Garth Brooks song. Although, I applaud her craftiness to fit a Billy Joel song into her "wheelhouse" (as this seems to be the trendy word of the year), I am disappointed that it was such a copycat rendition of the Garth version. Like Josh, this was uninspiring and feeble. C+<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Elise Testpilot: Vienna - Performance of the night and even<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AU902o3DjVE/T2uJDw-wRsI/AAAAAAAAAhU/w8r7Hq0sVEM/s1600/Elise.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 167px; height: 200px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722818449285072578" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AU902o3DjVE/T2uJDw-wRsI/AAAAAAAAAhU/w8r7Hq0sVEM/s200/Elise.jpg" /></a><br />better than Erika. Not only did Elise choose to do her own song, but chose to also dress in a style of her own. Again, it worked brilliantly, as she portrtayed class and grace while belting out this original Billy Joel tune like nobody's business. She got a well-earned standing O by the judges and like Erika, she needs all the help she can get. America just can't get it right quite yet and keep sending Elise to the bottom... Get a clue, you fools! A+<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Philly Cheese Phillips: Movin' Out - Great song choice and way to stick to the drab gray garb, man! The older performers are definitely confident in their own images and fashion choices, as true artists should be. Although appearance mak<img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 112px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722817282344032578" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iS3k7ebrR5Y/T2uH_1yVGUI/AAAAAAAAAhI/AELqcfEhSEA/s200/Phillip.jpg" />es a difference in the business world, it doesn't make you a better singer. Philly was on fire last night with this tune and showed his true potential. He was embedded into this song and made it his own, like he wrote it himself... A<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Holy Cavanaugh: Honesty - The good news... she looked awesome. That's it for the good news. Now the reality... This was Holly's worst performance of the season. She did not connect to the song at all, and oversung it, like she is in some unspoken, secret competition with Jessica to see who can out-diva the other. It didn't help that they put her on some big, weird pedestal, ottoman, hassock, whatever the hell you want to call it. The production was pompous and the vocal was superfluous. C<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 151px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722818770409618194" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NJP4nMis2Ts/T2uJWdQz-xI/AAAAAAAAAhg/RbZmMULYF0A/s200/Divacup.jpg" /><div> </div><div>Heehaw Hand: My Life - Heehaw is becoming the Sanjaya of the show. He cannot be taken seriously as a singer. He is a performer, but more atune to stand up comedy or some goofy variety show where kids can dump goo and slime on his head. I believe that is where Heehaw is headed. Although the early changeup of the song was cute and cuddly, the performance was horrific and a travesty of epic proportions. His vocals have eroded to joke level, and the sad part is that he will continue to flourish on the merits of his goofiness. I will give him props for his<br />conversation with Hilfiger--that was funny. D<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 112px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722817107834911074" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T0QswUuLMns/T2uH1rsHOWI/AAAAAAAAAg8/jV30EUMcHww/s200/Heyjoon.jpg" /></div><div> </div><div>Jessica Sandwich: Everybody Has a Dream - Make no mistake, this was very good, but then again, she set her bar up pretty high a few weeks ago. I would agree with the judges for the most part that it was excellent, but it also reeked of over-indulgence. I believe this to be another example of not connecting with the song, and just diva-worship at a high level. She has the talent and chops to win this whole thing, but she needs to believe in the material. B+<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Colt45 Dixon: Piano Man - Nothing like being in the money slot at the end of the show, especially if you can slay the song. Colton did just that and more. Again, he went his own direction, did his thing and blew the stinkin' doors off this song. Although Elise probably takes the night for best of, this was my favorite performance of the night. He connected to the song, made it unique and sung it like he felt something. And even if that hair cut is PUNKY, it works for him... A<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 167px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722816889397070258" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2EjZQUd0lqE/T2uHo98eSbI/AAAAAAAAAgw/LCorVrjSv4A/s200/Colton.jpg" /></div><div> </div><div>Well there ya have it peeps... I dont' think I've ever given four "A" grades before, but we have ourselves a competition. It's too bad we can't eliminate Heyjune tonight, but yet have him stay<br />on the show for comedy purposes. That would be great--a win/win forsure.<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Rankings for the night:<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><br />Elise</div><div><br />Colton</div><div><br />Erika</div><div><br />Philip</div><div><br />Jessica</div><div><br />Skyler</div><div><br />Holly</div><div><br />Josh</div><div><br />Dandruff (Sanjaya II)</div><div><br />Heehaw (Sanjaya I)</div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><br /><br />If everyone is on their game, this should be the best top 8 ever, from top to bottom. The remainder of the season will be interesting as contestants struggle with song choices and their own self-images. America needs to step up and keep the talent in the pool.<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Bottom 3 should be Heehaw, Dandruff and Josh... However, I will bet that somehow, and injustly so, Erika or Elise will be there as well. Josh is going nowhere. I think Sanjaya II may be the one to go. If it is either of the E girls, the judges will use their save...<br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Until next week, rock on ya rubes!<br /><br /><br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><br /><br />OUT</div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-4070283810881665382011-12-06T21:13:00.000-08:002012-07-17T22:00:04.897-07:00Jambayz Island Grill - Nice weekend lunchI heard about this place recently via email. The wife and I decided to check it out on a miserable rainy Saturday. Initially hard to find downtown, but finally came across it. Only one other party was in the small dining area, and we we were greeted by polite and helpful staff.<br />
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The decor was classic and not over-the-top. Although not a large dining area, the high ceiling made it seem roomy. The climate was perfect. The menu was slightly smaller than the website menu, but it had what we wanted. The waiter was very friendly and knowledgable and answered any questions we had with enthusiasm.<br />
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I ordered the Coconut water and the wife ordered a diet coke. The Coco-water was served in a coconut and had a nice refreshing and slightly sweet flavor.We then ordered the conch fritters as a appetizer, and put in our entrees of the Jerk Chicken and the Saltfish. The fritters came out hot and fresh, served with a mango chutney. They were good, but could probably use a little more seasoning. The pieces of conch were chewy but at least they had conch in the fritters, whereas a lot of places might just have conch-flavored bread.<br />
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The entrees came out a bit later. The Jerk Chicken was a thigh/leg combo and another leg. I ordered mine with extra spice. It came with a side of rice & beans and some plantain slices. The chicken was fall off the bone tender and juicy. The flavor was exceptional and spiced just right. The beans and rice were done nicely and were a good complement to the chicken. The plantains were perfectly cooked and melted in my mouth.<br />
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My wife tried the saltfish which was mixed with vegetables and ackee, served with breadfruit and plantains. She liked the fish, although the breadfruit was a bit too much starch to go with already starchy plantains and ackee. I'm not sure what ackee is exactly, but it reminded me of spaetzle. The flavors of everything were very unique and delicious.<br />
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Overall, the food experience was very positive and we will definitely be going back to try some of the other items.<br />
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Lastly, we ordered the sweet potato bread pudding with the rum/raisin ice cream. We got it to go and ate it at home. It was amazing. The bread pudding had a wonderful soft, but dense texture and tasted amazing. Not too sweet and cloying like some bread puddings. It went perfectly with the rum/raisin ice cream, which was a creamy scoop of Heaven in it's own right.<br />
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Again, kudos to the young man who waited on us, and to the chefs who put together this delicious food. I hope that business does well for them and they stay open for a long time.
<a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/105/1628463/restaurant/Cedar-Rapids-Iowa-City/Jambayz-Island-Grill-Cedar-Rapids"><img alt="Jambayz Island Grill on Urbanspoon" src="http://www.urbanspoon.com/b/link/1628463/biglink.gif" style="border:none;padding:0px;width:200px;height:146px" /></a>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-13641561257473735482011-12-06T18:33:00.000-08:002012-07-17T22:02:59.349-07:00White Star Ale House - Well kept Secret<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cJj3d_aDNj0/Tt7SvwNZYLI/AAAAAAAAAgk/yPu27797CKM/s1600/whitestarlogo.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 190px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5683211497624920242" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cJj3d_aDNj0/Tt7SvwNZYLI/AAAAAAAAAgk/yPu27797CKM/s200/whitestarlogo.png" /></a><br />"I'm so full, I'm miserable." That is what my wife said when we got home from White Star Ale House. We never heard of this place until we went to Jambayz, which is next door, and we saw that the same building housed this hidden treasure.<br /><br />So after reviewing the menu online, I noticed that this wasn't just some ordinary tavern with the same old bar food. This was medium to high end fare at medium to low prices. We decided to try it out Tuesday night.<br /><br />The decor was elgant and yet approachable. Definitely not suited for your Friday night fleabags who just want to drink and mow down some fries. The place had class.<br /><br />We decided on some Wisconsin cheese wontons to start, along with some mojitos. The drinks were tasty by the way. We then ordered the pot roast for my wife, and the Ahi Tuna for me. Our son was along, and he ordered he flank steak.<br /><br />The cheese wontons came out, and looked fantastic. Not the same kind as Zeppelins or ID, but lighter and filled with molten cheese. Served with a spicier mustard which still had enough sweet to make your mouth water. These scored a 10 out of 10.<br /><br />The entrees came our shortly after. As the website specifies, these are moderately sized portions. Enough fo satisfy a normal person's apetite. The wife's pot roast was well recieved. Was nice and lean with savory gravy and a side of smashed potatoes. I hate pot roast, but I tried it, and even I was impressed.<br /><br />My son ordered the flank steak and he ordered it medium-rare. It was already sliced when brought out, but was a little too rare for his liking. Admittedly, I tried it, and it was a bit on the raw side and kind of chewy.<br /><br />The Ahi Tuna was phenomenal. I haven't had this good of tuna since I visited Miami. Charbroiled and cooked medium rare with a nice sear on the outside, yet pink and warm on the inside. It melted in the mouth coupled with the hot/sweet chili sauce. The cheesy potatoes that accompanied it was the perfect compliment, as well as a wonderful comfort food. Absolutely fantastic.<br /><br />I would definitely go back and recommend this place for foodies who want more than bar food, but don't want to pay over $100 for some good quality items. Bon Apetite!
<a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/105/1630992/restaurant/Cedar-Rapids-Iowa-City/White-Star-Ale-House-Cedar-Rapids"><img alt="White Star Ale House on Urbanspoon" src="http://www.urbanspoon.com/b/link/1630992/biglink.gif" style="border:none;padding:0px;width:200px;height:146px" /></a>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-86637710762800694682011-10-02T20:57:00.000-07:002011-10-02T21:23:44.981-07:00Worldwide Kitchen - Cater to the Equator<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_nXLits9Mfs/Tok4vFrYrjI/AAAAAAAAAfE/18QH4lXIAHw/s1600/ecuador.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659116788396895794" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_nXLits9Mfs/Tok4vFrYrjI/AAAAAAAAAfE/18QH4lXIAHw/s200/ecuador.gif" /></a><br />The next stop on the Alphabet cruise around the globe is Ecuador, which literally means "Equator". For the geographically challenged, it is coastal country in South America. The planning phase for the letter "E" was succinct but wearisome. Only a small handful of countries start with "E", so it was fairly easy to narrow it down to Ecuador, Egypt and Ethiopia. The decision was tough, so I peeked into the future and looked at what some of our future countries might be. Since we will be hitting the Middle East and Africa on several other occasions, we chose Ecuador.<br /><br />Unlike the last few countries, which had giant recipe repositories online, Ecuador failed to land us a nice one-stop shop for ideas. We had to find and combine several websites to come up with our menu du jour. Having too many websites bookmarked can cause havoc, which I will explain later...<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><br /><br />The cuisine of Ecuad<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n5VGfg_nzgQ/Tok4N_Op4gI/AAAAAAAAAe0/3ARO26Kc9iQ/s1600/guinea_pig_000000462353XSmall.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 218px; height: 170px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659116219730092546" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n5VGfg_nzgQ/Tok4N_Op4gI/AAAAAAAAAe0/3ARO26Kc9iQ/s200/guinea_pig_000000462353XSmall.jpg" /></a>or varies by which part of the country you're in. If you're not on the coast, you are munching on pork, beef and your pet guinea pigs. Yes, it's true. Well, they aren't pets down there apparently... "Mom, Dad, have you seen Hamlet? Hey, what's for dinner?" In any event, I had an itching for seafood, so we chose the coastal menu, and avoided the pet stores.<br /><br />Talk about getting out of one's comfort zone. We decided to challenge ourselves because we are getting so damn good at messing up chicken and cake, and we chose to do a Ceviche de Pescado. Ceviche is fish, usually sea bass, tilapia or shrimp, and it is cooked with lime juice. You heard me right! The acid in the lime juice cooks the fish, and no heat gets near this protein. Sometimes you see chefs on the Food Network make it, or you may find it in fine eating establishments, which means you won't find it in Cedar Rapids. But here we were... Mister and Mrs. Chefpants trying to out-do Emeril and Gordon Ramsey. We also went with an Ecuadorian beet salad, as well as llapingachos, which are cheesy potato cakes, and finally a dessert called flan (custard).<br /><br />Shopping: We actually did a preemptive strike on the grocery store to see what we had to choose for our fish. We wanted the sea bass, but tilapia was a close second. The HyVee had tilapia, but we struck out on the angry sea bass (with lasers attached to their heads). With that in mind, we could finish building our menu. When we finally went shopping several days later, it was the same day as the feast itself. We wanted guaranteed freshness with our seafood, and the Fishmonger at HyVee assured us that Sunday was when they would get in a fresh batch of fishies.<br /><br />Most of the ingredients for the menu were easy to come by. The ceviche called for tilapia, tomatoes, peppers, onions and a crapload of limes (crapload = 20). The potato cak<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-la0T1P9ouKo/Tok3w6mx-XI/AAAAAAAAAes/S3cpgXO9MaI/s1600/Ecuador%2B025.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 243px; height: 186px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659115720272902514" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-la0T1P9ouKo/Tok3w6mx-XI/AAAAAAAAAes/S3cpgXO9MaI/s200/Ecuador%2B025.JPG" /></a>es included potatoes (duh), Muenster cheese, scallions and annatto oil. Annatto what??? Fuhget about it... Since there was no way on earth to find this, we looked up how to whip up your own version. All you need to do is add paprika to canola oil and let it get all nice and emulsified. It gives the oil a rich, peppery aroma, while turning it red. Voila! The rest of the ingredients were par for the course, including beets, carrots, eggs, and various spices, juices and oils.<br /><br />Prep: Three words... Mis en place. Yah, it's French. It means "things in place". In our kitchen, it means chopping and dicing the crap out of everything before it gets cooked. We have become prep gurus, whirling dervishes with knives, cutting boards and food processors. I am the Surgeon General and Lauri is Jackie the Ripper. Together we make Vince from Slapchop want to slap himself with some shamwow towels.</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 278px; height: 204px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659114989696700914" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BfG3kF_h6sQ/Tok3GY_10fI/AAAAAAAAAek/A5KJ_iYiaSA/s200/Ecuador%2B027.JPG" /><br />But before we get the hardware out, we reflect on past guffaws and decide to cook the dessert early and get it out of the way. The flan was a piece of cake, errrr, not literally of course. Condensed milk, eggs, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla and rum. Mix it up, throw in cooking dish, top with nutmeg, and throw it in the oven. The most difficult part was caramelizing the sugar to put on the bottom of the dish. It hardened very rapidly and was not easy to spread.<br /><br />Once the flan was cooking away, we got out the cutting boards and knives. Everything else on the menu required small cut dicing and bite-size chunks. I took on the tilapia, which had to be diced into small cubes. With it being fresh seafood, I had to work fast and get the stuff back in the fridge ASAP. Then it was time to dice up the peppers, onions, shallots and beets. The carrots in the recipe had to be cooked, and we purchased raw carrots, so out comes the steamer. Peeled the carrots, steamed them, then cut 'em up.<br /><br />As Lauri, the a<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DY9CKdy5ZQw/Tok2pSjPgdI/AAAAAAAAAec/GFLU7t4xSxM/s1600/razor.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 200px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659114489749930450" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DY9CKdy5ZQw/Tok2pSjPgdI/AAAAAAAAAec/GFLU7t4xSxM/s200/razor.jpg" /></a>xe-wielding contessa had the situation in hand with the veggies, it was time for me to start peeling potatoes. I don't like peeling potatoes. Peeling potatoes just sucks. Especially those little bitchy Yukon gold ones. The skin is thin and slippery. You can't freaking hold onto them with one hand and peel with another as they keep slipping all over the place. It's like peeling a wet bar of soap. I was fearful of losing my fingers, or at the very least, knuckle-skin. However, I was fortunate and no blood was shed.<br /><br />Cooking: Now that we had our "mis en place," it was time to cook. I then noticed something awry in reading over our internet recipes. There were two sites bookmarked for Ceviche. One said to soak the fish for one hour (if the fish is steamed first), and the other said for four hours (if raw). Our recipe called for raw fish, and we wanted to do it right, so we had to get that fish soaking in lime juice and wait out the remaining four hours. Not so fast, my friends. That was only the beginning of the problems, as the ingredient list reflected bits and pieces from BOTH websites! Ooops. This is what happens when the old lady is writing down ingredients after having too many Bud Light Limes out in the sun. So we were missing some things, and we bought stuff we didn't need. What the hell am I going to do with all this celery? We have no recipes with celery, so Lauri is going to take it to work and put peanut butter on it. We were also missing Serrano peppers. Since we had time, I hustled back to the store and $.13 cents poorer, came home with three tiny peppers.</div><div> </div><div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 247px; height: 185px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659116482823407170" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-akx37FwXVfU/Tok4dTU_RkI/AAAAAAAAAe8/nswXOEPppWE/s200/Ecuador%2B028.JPG" /><br />Okay, so now we are set. We combined the fish chunks with about 4 cups of lime juice. We bought some limes, but we also bought a bottle of real lime juice to supplement. Then we tossed in some chopped parsley and topped it off with the Serrano peppers (sliced, of course). The rest of the already ready already ingredients were put in bowls, plastic-wrapped and stowed in the refrigger-ator.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YXPYnv9xUYY/Tok2Dx1dqVI/AAAAAAAAAeU/D46wbyRYbhg/s1600/Ecuador%2B035.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 223px; height: 168px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659113845312825682" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YXPYnv9xUYY/Tok2Dx1dqVI/AAAAAAAAAeU/D46wbyRYbhg/s200/Ecuador%2B035.JPG" /></a><br />The rest of the stuff was pretty easy to put together. We had the cold beet salad to throw together, and since it was also supposed to be chilled, we could toss that together and shelf it along with the ceviche. And we certainly had time, with about three and a half hours to wait for the ceviche to cook. Since the veggies for the salad were already chopped up, we were good to go. Salad done--time for a drink or three.<br /><br />The only thing left to cook was the llapingachos (potato cakes). With about 45 minutes left to go on the ceviche, I had started the boiling pot of salty water for the taters. I cut them up into small pieces and threw 'em in the pot when the water was at a rolling boil. 20 minutes later, I mashed them up, threw in two cups of Muenster cheese, along with some scallions and made a nice gooey, gloppy mess of cheesy potato goodness. I then made little patties out of the mixture and got them ready for frying.<br /><br />Speaking of frying, this particular recipe called for annatto oil, which you can't really find in stores. As I mentioned earlier, we found that you could substitute annatto oil with regular canola oil and just add paprika to it as it's heating up.<div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 229px; height: 174px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659113520135664930" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6dvzSsmCuIw/Tok1w2dL9SI/AAAAAAAAAeM/rqEgfhXZ2-I/s200/Ecuador%2B040.JPG" /><br /><br />With about 15 minutes left on the fish, it was time to start frying the potato cakes up. Thank the Ecuadorian lords of wax paper as I tried prying the formed cakes from the surface. It was like unsticking your tongue from a frozen flagpole. If you read my blog on Armenia, you will remember the struggles we, I should say "I" had with trying to fry mashed potatoes. Again, I was tormented by smashed potatoes as they refused to cooperate with me.<div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y-0XDVAUrZw/Tok1RR5aBkI/AAAAAAAAAeE/2aRU-iQ-TME/s1600/Ecuador%2B039.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 241px; height: 185px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659112977745970754" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y-0XDVAUrZw/Tok1RR5aBkI/AAAAAAAAAeE/2aRU-iQ-TME/s200/Ecuador%2B039.JPG" /></a><br />Everything was perfect up until now. Our timings in having things done were spot on. Our prep work was impeccable. Our final challenge was to fry up these cakes and somehow not screw it up. The oil was hot and we were ready to drop spud. The cakes went down into the hot pan, and started sizzling. When it was time to flip, I took the spatula and eased it underneath the first cake. What happened next made me want to light my hair on fire... How dare these chucklehead potato cakes ruin the day! The bottom of the cake stuck to the spatula, and as I prepared to flip, I ripped the bottom off the cake and the rest of this potato pain in the asscake globbed into an oily pile of misery. I started sweating as the nightmarish flashbacks of Armenia took hold of my brain. How can this be???<br /><br />I remained calm (Lauri will beg to differ). I then took most of the oil out of the non-stick pan and tried frying the next batch with very little oil. Thankfully, this yielded success, as the cakes browned without getting soggy with oil.<br /><br />By the time I got all the cakes fried up, it was time to go fishing. We took the lime-soaked tilapia out, rinsed with cold water, then re-juiced it with fresh lime juice and mixed the peppers, onions, tomatoes, shallots and parsley together. Done. The dish looked just like the picture on the internets. :) The fish was firm, white, and looked good.<br /><br />Eating: Since the flan and beet salad was already done, and the ceviche was ready to be harvested, all we really had left to do was plate the potato cakes and then take photos.</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Gc1Vfq-_ETM/Tok0lqKmaaI/AAAAAAAAAd8/xmDDXTKL8w4/s1600/mikey-life-cereal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 237px; height: 153px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659112228346292642" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Gc1Vfq-_ETM/Tok0lqKmaaI/AAAAAAAAAd8/xmDDXTKL8w4/s200/mikey-life-cereal.jpg" /></a><br />Neither Lauri or myself have ever had ceviche, so it was a Life Cereal commercial for the first minute or two... "You eat it." "No, you eat it." "Hey, give it to Mikey, Mikey likes it!" So we both tried a bite at the same time. It was actually very good! And more importantly, not raw!<br /><br />We plated everything together and it was gorgeous. The ceviche was picture perfect and delicious. There was no fishy smell or oceanic flavor at all. The acid from the lime juice eliminated the tuna-can stench, and cooked the tilapia to flaky perfection. The lime and veggies were the perfect accompaniment and the dish was hugely successful. Typically, you would eat this with crackers, corn nuts or popcorn. No, seriously... you heard me right.<br /><br />The beet salad was light and tasty, again with a citrus base, although this one was lemon juice. This simple sauce, along with some oil, salt and pepper was just what the doctor ordered. Once again, victory over the unknown and untested was enjoyed. Considering I'm not a beet fan, this was a huge win for Lauri, as she is a beetnik, and she had to pull my strings to get me to eat this esoteric vegetable.</div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 291px; height: 218px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659111799976788802" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vhBcCzu9Bj0/Tok0MuXWg0I/AAAAAAAAAd0/KGR7rXxcsHI/s200/Ecuador%2B044.JPG" /><br />Ahhh, the potato pain in the ass cakes. These were a lot of work and aggravation, but damn, they turned out good. Fried mashed potatoes loaded with cheese and scallions... Need I say more? Once I corrected the oil distribution, it was sweet sailing the rest of the way. By the way, I'm going to lobby for Muenster cheese as being the most underrated cheese in existence. More flavorful than provolone and mozzarella, but not quite as sharp and pungent as cheddar. It's a perfect combination of both spectrums of cheesehood.<div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N31QdGzWQTg/TokzlRMfMJI/AAAAAAAAAds/FmyDGqXbr3c/s1600/Ecuador%2B032.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 223px; height: 149px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659111122131693714" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N31QdGzWQTg/TokzlRMfMJI/AAAAAAAAAds/FmyDGqXbr3c/s200/Ecuador%2B032.JPG" /></a><br />And finally, the flan. Ahhh, nothing like a good creamy, custardy cup of artery-clogging deliciousness. Flan is basically the same thing as custard, made with eggs, vanilla, sugar, and condensed milk. Throw in a little coconut rum, and you have a party. The flan turned out great, especially if you love sugar. I think every hummingbird and housefly within 100 miles was trying to break in to get a piece of this action. Every chunk of this cloying and creamy toothsome treat had caramelized sugar on the bottom and sugar-cinnamon on top. Two bites were enough to keep Augustus Gloop satisfied, so after about one and a half bites, I was done.</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8sfWiWnphZ8/TokzPOKsgCI/AAAAAAAAAdk/ei2tIPEwio0/s1600/Ecuador%2B045.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 265px; height: 185px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659110743361749026" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8sfWiWnphZ8/TokzPOKsgCI/AAAAAAAAAdk/ei2tIPEwio0/s200/Ecuador%2B045.JPG" /></a><br />All in all, a very successful South American-themed dinner. Ecuador was challenging in both the search for good recipes and pushing us out of our comfort zone. If it wasn't for this crazy worldwide cuisine project, we probably never would have attempted to make or even eat ceviche. Heck, neither one of us has ever had it, so it was a leap of faith to create this dish as well as consume it. Eat your heart out, Iron Chefs!<br /><br />I think we are getting pretty good at this--after only five letters, we have certainly made strides in our culinary proficiencies. Cooking 2-3 things simultaneously is no longer an anxiety-laced challenge that leaves us in an exasperated heap of misery calling out for pizza delivery.<br /><br />Of course now that I say that, perhaps we are setting ourselves up for an EPIC FAIL on future countries? Oui, oui? Yah I said it... F is for FRANCE, and hopefully not for FAIL...<br /></div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 277px; height: 209px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659110395912828562" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yvUc97UZTEk/Toky6_0atpI/AAAAAAAAAdc/h5YW6mYWO2g/s200/30.jpg" /></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-80834718586362318262011-08-30T19:33:00.000-07:002011-08-30T20:09:26.620-07:00Worldwide Kitchen - Devouring Denmark<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZcRe-_3llw/Tl2je_BRT0I/AAAAAAAAAdU/fkYJVSVgDfc/s1600/DenmarkFLAG.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 138px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646849260500635458" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZcRe-_3llw/Tl2je_BRT0I/AAAAAAAAAdU/fkYJVSVgDfc/s200/DenmarkFLAG.gif" /></a>
<br />Trying to come up with titles for these food blogs is the biggest hurdle in the initiation phase of writing these things. I was thinking, "Denmarks the Spot," and "Denmark my Words," but let's face it, those are weak sauce. Speaking of weak sauce, the recipes for Denmark were very close to flavorless and vapid. Seasoning is optional and at a minimum, less than stellar.
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<br />How did we come to the decision to pluck Denmark off the global array of culinary delights? Easy. There are virtually NO "D" countries out there. Kinda hard to believe, isn't it? The letter "D" is a common letter, one of the few that are used consistently on Wheel of MisFortune. Hey Vanna, give me a "D"! Sorry mister wiseass, NO "D" for you! So, the competition for the "D" letter came down to Denmark, Dominican Republic and Djibouti. Whud you say about my booty??? Ehhh, anyway, we decided to opt for Western Europe since we hadn't sampled that geographical area yet.
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<br />As always, we scoured the internet for Danish fare and found a site that had a ton of stuff. You can check it out here if interested: http://www.mindspring.com/~cborgnaes/ ... We did find quite a few items on the menu, in all categories, such as meat, poultry, fish, veggie, salads and desserts. Since we haven't used our friend the pig yet, we opted for pork as our protein. It didn't hurt that we also had a pork loin in the freezer, begging to be thawed out and consumed.
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<br />After glancing over the many entrees, we noticed that pork and fish were the most common protein items, but most of the fish dishes were pickled in some way. Pickled cod, pickled whitefish, pick<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-faMpvtadYpc/Tl2jUaNRj-I/AAAAAAAAAdM/Yb0nJzpoo8Q/s1600/swine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 134px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646849078820179938" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-faMpvtadYpc/Tl2jUaNRj-I/AAAAAAAAAdM/Yb0nJzpoo8Q/s200/swine.jpg" /></a>led herring, yada, yada, yada... We chose the Roast Loin of Pork, otherwise known as Svinesteg. You dirty SWINE! Tender pork loin, stuffed with apples and prunes, while cooked in cream and red wine. Instead of taters, we picked Flour Dumplings (Melboller) to accompany the main dish. For a vegetable, the Green Beans and Mushrooms (Grønne Bønner) looked good as well. We also decided to do a salad. We saw one that contained Havarti cheese, so we were sold. The salad was called Tivoli Salad (Salat). And since we are gluttons for punishment, as well as for sweet stuff, we picked a dessert as well. In this case, it was the Cherry Cake, AKA Kirsebærkage.
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<br />So as we became pickled like the fish described above, we made our shopping list. Nothing too unusual. White pepper and prunes were about the only things that we didn't have lyin<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f0WD2CrnZnA/Tl2jF6X2TmI/AAAAAAAAAdE/JvNtdrPi5t8/s1600/guinea_pig_pair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 128px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646848829756427874" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f0WD2CrnZnA/Tl2jF6X2TmI/AAAAAAAAAdE/JvNtdrPi5t8/s200/guinea_pig_pair.jpg" /></a>g around. It was as if we didn't have to go shopping at all, but shopping is the fun part, so we made a day out of it anyway. And in our first attempt to create International fare in front of an audience (guinea pigs), we had to stock up on another pork loin. Ohhh you poor Rameys!
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<br />Shopping: We ventured out to our usual haunt, the Johnson Avenue HyVee. The parking was atrocious as usual, and the store is set up like Cheech and Chong did the planning after a bender. However, since the list we had was not as challenging, we had an easy time of it. When it came time to grab another pork loin, we decided to try and get one that was as close as possible in weight as the other one that was thawing in the freezer. It had to be about 1.5 lbs. We had planned on cooking both the loins simultaneously, so this made sense. We did cheat a little bit on one of our items. We decided to make pork gravy for the dumplings, but just in case we blundered it, we grabbed a jar of pork gravy as a backup.<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 172px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646848275202068034" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jDErg2r9Hdc/Tl2ilofyTkI/AAAAAAAAAc8/41tMyT27xGU/s200/cheech.jpg" />
<br />Prep: What we experienced as a piece of cake for shopping, we more than made up for it in the prepping process. Prepping was a hardcore pain in the Danish ass. I volunteered to do the Tivoli salad and the Green Bean/Mushroom dish. Lauri took on the Pork loin, Cherry cake and Dumplings. We were all over the kitchen, arm-wrestling over measuring cups, the food processor, the nice ceramic knife, the rum, ummm you get the picture.
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<br />The first thing I di<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Nd_C4k5T6Qo/Tl2iBEcGGyI/AAAAAAAAAc0/VbujjkeB4Ag/s1600/Denmark%2B012.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 250px; height: 179px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646847647047621410" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Nd_C4k5T6Qo/Tl2iBEcGGyI/AAAAAAAAAc0/VbujjkeB4Ag/s200/Denmark%2B012.JPG" /></a>d was cut the cheese. Yah I said it! No, seriously, I had to cut up the Havarti in small bite size pieces for the salad, and then had to do the same with the other ingredients, cucumber, green pepper, diced ham and tomatoes. Since the salad was supposed to be chilled, I pretty much completed the task of finishing it, then stuffing it in the fridge. Mixing the bite size pieces with sour cream, mayonnaise, white pepper and curry brought the Tivoli salad to conclusion. As I tasted it, it lacked that savory goodness, so I tossed in a few pinches of sea salt.
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<br />Since we goofed on cooking cake and chicken for Cambodia by trying to share the oven, we decided to get the dessert out of the way. The cake recipe called for egg whites whipped to a meringue-like consistency, before mixing in with the dry ingredients. FAIL. Initially, we tried using one of those emulsion mixing sticks that look like "shake weights" with a menacing little blade on the end. Lauri whipped the eggs into oblivion, but no firm peaks, so I suggested tossing it out and using a regular mixer. Voila, white peaks of flavorless frappe! We were back on track for success!
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GIR5uTvvdlg/Tl2hz7xwjEI/AAAAAAAAAcs/lMm2yEnwqSE/s1600/Denmark%2B014.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646847421384264770" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GIR5uTvvdlg/Tl2hz7xwjEI/AAAAAAAAAcs/lMm2yEnwqSE/s200/Denmark%2B014.JPG" /></a>
<br />In the meantime, I started to get the green beans ready for the veggie dish. We bought whole string beans which needed both ends cut off. More knife work for me. I am getting to point where I think I could do surgery. The beans were ready to be steamed, but it was too early, so I covered them and waited. The shrooms were already sliced up, so I got a reprieve.
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<br />Lauri was getting the oinkers ready for their apple and prune stuffing. As we looked at the pork loins, they did weigh the same, but one was thicker and stockier than the other. This would come back on us, as you will find out... Lauri completed the arduous task of slitting and stuffing the loins with apple and prune slices, seasoning them, and then tying off the swine with twine.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 243px; height: 187px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646847149139952754" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L8gFyz365zg/Tl2hkFlqBHI/AAAAAAAAAck/ZP93cYnkDbg/s200/Denmark%2B015.JPG" />
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<br />Finally, with everything completed as far as we could take it, it was time to assemble the dumplings. At that point, we had cleaned up the mixer, but then the recipe called for more whipped egg whites! DOH! Get the mixer out again, honey!
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<br />Cooking: I should preface the cooking part by saying that the TIMING of everything was stupefying. I was <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5Q2Zksaj3FQ/Tl2hVK0Hg8I/AAAAAAAAAcc/alIKO61LNQM/s1600/Denmark%2B016.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 228px; height: 174px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646846892844745666" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5Q2Zksaj3FQ/Tl2hVK0Hg8I/AAAAAAAAAcc/alIKO61LNQM/s200/Denmark%2B016.JPG" /></a>rapidly approaching headache mode as I whipped a calculator out to make sure everything got done at about the same time. The only thing that was a not dependent on time was the Tivoli Salad, still chilling in the fridge. The stovetop, the steamer, the oven, the microwave--every appliance in the kitchen was slated for duty.
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<br />While cooking is usually easier than prep, this wasn't the case with Denmark. The Pork loin has cook in several phases. Brown the pork, drown the pork, baste the pork, bake the pork, add this, that and the other, then baste again. Madness I say. The green beans had to go into the steamer for 20 minutes, but not before I had to sauté the mushrooms for 15. The salt and white pepper had to wait til everything was mixed together, and then add bread crumbs. Time for a drink and aspirin.
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<br />The Cherry cake was finishing up, so we took it out and just let it sit there heating up the kitchen. The pork was about done on the stovetop, getting a nice brown crust on it, then we added cream and let it simmer, while spooning liquid over the whole thing. Eventually, the loins went in the oven to finish for about an hour. We added the wine and let it go. We almost forgot that we needed gravy for the dumplings, so we kept the pork drippings in the pan, added some cream, flour, salt and pepper. It made a whopping half a cup, so we grabbed the store-bought gravy and threw it in. Oh the horror, the horror...
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<br />With about 30 minutes left on the pork, I got the steamer started with the green bean<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hAzkok3MpKI/Tl2hGCK2WjI/AAAAAAAAAcU/_dqiETND4-I/s1600/Denmark%2B022.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646846632826133042" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hAzkok3MpKI/Tl2hGCK2WjI/AAAAAAAAAcU/_dqiETND4-I/s200/Denmark%2B022.JPG" /></a>s, then also started sautéing the mushrooms. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel cake. At that point, our friends had just arrived in time to help us drink more and become more inebriated than usual. I enthusiastically described the steamer we just purchased and how it was the next best thing to an IPOD. I was like a drunk guy on the Shopping Channel, "whooohooo, check this sh*t out folks--it steams stuff! It cooks with WATER!!!" Our friends were sold... They bought a steamer the same night on Amazon.
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<br />The beans were then mixed with the shrooms, along with some cream, flour and butter. Finally, everything came together at the right time, and we finished off by poaching the dumplings. They only took about a minute to cook, so it was like an afterthought.
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<br />Eating: Time to dig in! Everything once again, looked fantastic and just how we had wanted it to look. After we took a few pics of the items, it was time to carve up those piggly wiggly loins and go to town. We let our friend Chris do the slicing, as he is a master at cutlery and chopping things up with various weaponry. Once the meat was adequately sliced, the chowdown had begun. The first pork loin that was sliced was the skinnier of the two. As I mentioned before, the difference in the pork loins would be discussed. The pork was dry and tough, like my lawn mowing shoes after sitting in the sun for a week.<div>
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<br />The other items were mostly edible and delicious. The beans/mushroom platter was like a homemade green bean casserole, but without the fried onions. Had to add salt and pepper, as it was bland, like<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o20Mz5ybpWE/Tl2gf83aDoI/AAAAAAAAAcE/xZq5MAErRPc/s1600/Denmark%2B024.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646845978567380610" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o20Mz5ybpWE/Tl2gf83aDoI/AAAAAAAAAcE/xZq5MAErRPc/s200/Denmark%2B024.JPG" /></a> the food you get at Bishops. However the mushrooms and freshly steamed beans were perfect. The Tivoli salad was fresh, cool and creamy. The ham with the Havarti cheese added depth and comfort to the otherwise light and cool veggies. Then it was time for the dumplings. Little spongy and chewy bread chunks, as dense as a doorknob and the flavor of construction paper. Thank goodness for gravy.
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<br /></div><div> </div><div>I was somewhat disappointed in the pork, since we worked so hard to do it right. I then decided to cut open the other loin to see what we may have been missing. Sure enough, the second loin was cooked to perfection, moist and flavorful. I told everyone to stop eating the shoe and try the new stuff instead. The evening was salvaged as almost everything was consumed and very little leftovers to bag up.
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<br />Finally for dessert, we broke open the Cherry Cake. It looked better than it tasted. As most of the items from the recipes were somewhat dull and lacked flavor, so did the Cherry Cake. The cherries were fine, but the cake was like fluffed drywall. Perhaps putting on some spackle frosting would have gave this insipid flapjack some zip.
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<br />All in all, it was a decent feast, with some highs and lows. The fun is in the challenge of creating new and unfamiliar things and the journey from conception to execution. Our mistakes are getting smaller and less noticeable. Speaking of mistakes, when the wife says she doesn't need any help, it means "get the f*** out of my way, old man!" Next time, I will heed that advice and make myself small and stealth-like. We also learned that seasoning is underappreciated and adding spice to your cooking leads to a fulfilling and flavorful experience.</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 133px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646844014256736802" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WbVKaSLxa5w/Tl2etnPQSiI/AAAAAAAAAb0/y0sPbLVBp8o/s200/angry_woman-1.jpg" />
<br />Next up: E is for Ecuador or Egypt... We haven't decided yet! Stay tuned!</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>
<br />Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-67102841031599424392011-08-10T19:36:00.000-07:002011-08-10T20:00:56.213-07:00Worldwide Kitchen - Cambodian Carnivores<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KtY83vUJbFU/TkNEWlPuu8I/AAAAAAAAAbk/YndFjRhLD9g/s1600/Cambodia_flag.gif"><span style="color:#000000;"></span><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 133px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639426313143892930" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KtY83vUJbFU/TkNEWlPuu8I/AAAAAAAAAbk/YndFjRhLD9g/s200/Cambodia_flag.gif" /></a>
<br />Classroom! It is time to hit our next letter, and if you are paying attention at home, we are on the letter "C." As we sailed the "C's" for something different and new (how could it not be?), we decided to go with Cambodia. We considered the Czech Republic, Columbia and Chile, but since I am already Czech and we have already done South American fare with Brazil, we decided to be daring and original and opt for a little Asian zing...
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<br />Once again, Lauri and I raided the internet menus for recipes and we were not disappointed. The website we found had more recipes than Raul Julia Childs. If you are interested in trying some of them out, you can go here: http://www.khmerkromrecipes.com/
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<br />In any event, it took us several nights to land on a four course menu that we both agreed would be tasty and non-tragic in its end-results. We landed on a salad, a soup, a main meat course and of course, the dreaded dessert. This time, however, we fixed our gaze on a dessert that gave us a fighting chance at success. We also learned that if you want to do these recipes right, ya gotta run out to a real Ethnic grocery store and leave the HyVee for stuff like cheese and soda.
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<br />Our menu consisted of the following:
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<br />Chrout Carrot nung thay-thao (Carrot with Daikon relish)
<br />Salor d'um-lon twea (Purple yam soup)
<br />Sach moan ang (Bake plum chicken)
<br />Num tirk doung (Coconut pound cake)
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<br />Try ordering that at Eggroll House. FAIL.
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<br />Shopping: As I mentioned above, there was no way in Cambodian hell that we were going to find the majority of the ingredients we needed at the local supermarket. What we needed was a road trip to Coralville to the Asian market on the Strip. This was very exciting, as we have never been to this store, and we really wanted to bask in the experience. The items we needed for our feast included a daikon, which is like a giant radish-like root. It is very fibrous, but much milder tasting than a regular radish. Yes, I realize you can get them at the boring old local grocer, but what fun is that?<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 246px; height: 152px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639425933588293250" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qbh-Llm_778/TkNEAfSn5oI/AAAAAAAAAbc/-v-euYlebO4/s320/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B011.JPG" />
<br />We also needed purple yams, which are purple on the inside, not the outside. They look like regular sweet potatoes from a distance, but once you peel that bad boy, you got our hands on an exact replica of Grimace from the McDonald's stable of influential characters.<div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 320px; height: 255px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639425381987848082" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-re2AFouRlN0/TkNDgYa1D5I/AAAAAAAAAbU/Lu5Uf6GbLkU/s320/grimace1.jpg" />
<br />Next on the shopping list was fish sauce and plum sauce. If you know how fish sauce is made, you would run, not walk to get away from this stuff. However, it is very tasty when combined with other scrumptious morsels. We also picked up some Coconut milk for the cake. There were 90 brands of coconut milk.
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<br />When we found the items we were looking for, we celebrated by stuffing our shopping baskets with a bunch more crap that looked interesting and whimsical. As you can see in the enclosed exhibit, we were obviously captivated by the bright, shiny colors and the pulse-pounding graphics on the labels. Marketing Genius! To be honest, I don't know what half the stuff is, but I have a feeling that I will find out some day.<div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 300px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639424925655600754" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eSywP4QIUoQ/TkNDF0cvjnI/AAAAAAAAAbM/fZGhTnr1thQ/s400/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B004.JPG" />
<br />The rest of the stuff we obtained at the HyVee, like chicken, shrimp, coconut, green onions, sugar and flour.
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<br />Prep: Once again, it made sense for us to tag team and prep all this stuff together. I handled the Carrot and Daichon salad, as well as the Plum Chicken. Lauri handled the Purple Yam Soup and of course, the Coconut Poundcake dessert.
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<br />The Carrots and Daichon needed to be cut in julienne strips, so my knife work was put to the test. Actually, I tried to cheat and use the food processor and that turned out to be a royal mistake. Julienne and Shred are NOT the same thing. I cut the veggies into small strips, and as I did so, I kept thinking abo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HmFoEE4ItYE/TkNCindbZnI/AAAAAAAAAa8/xuwUR6Dviy0/s1600/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B012.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639424320873391730" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HmFoEE4ItYE/TkNCindbZnI/AAAAAAAAAa8/xuwUR6Dviy0/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B012.JPG" /></a>ut Chef Ann Burrell, the spikey-haired blonde from "Worst Cooks in America". I was imagining her slamming me with a profanity-laced tirade to be consistent with my knife cuts. After cutting for what seemed like hours, it was time to mix the veggies with white rice vinegar, sugar and salt. Completed the task, covered and stuck it in the fridge to chill.
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<br />In the meantime, Lauri had started on the purple yam peeling. Once we saw the colors, we knew this soup would be ugly, but would probably taste good. The yams needed to be shredded into bits, but again the food processor was not up to task, so she hand-shredded them with one of those old metal torture devices for vegetables (and knuckles). The soup also called for fresh shrimp, which also needed to be ground up. I was thinking "shrimp-burger!" This time the processor got its chance to do some damage and it pummeled those sea-monkeys into oblivion. We added the other ingredients to the shrimp (green onion, basil, salt and pepper) and stuck that in the fridge until it was time to add to the soup.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639424634997281618" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DkwhjGUAbss/TkNC05qZk1I/AAAAAAAAAbE/Oa6rf46jieM/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B010.JPG" />
<br />The next two items (the Plum Chicken and Coconut Cake) were a piece of uhhh cake. You could use any chicken pieces you wanted, so we had three chicken breasts (bone-in). The obnoxiously large chicken breasts were the size of pterodactyls, which will cause pain and suffering later on (you'll see!). At any rate, the chicken just need to marinate in the plum sauce, soy sauce and other herbs/spices.
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<br />As Lauri finished up prepping the batter for the cake, it was time to start cooking.
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<br />Cooking: We were getting the hang of doing really good and thorough prep work on the stuff before cooking it, which made things much easier for cooking. The shredded purple yams went into a pot of water to boil. Once the poached Grimace was soft, it was time to add the shrimp mixture and polish off with delectable fish sauce.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0x_rxZCj55c/TkNCYGaNYiI/AAAAAAAAAa0/YHHcgO4ajvs/s1600/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B017.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 189px; height: 212px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639424140202828322" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0x_rxZCj55c/TkNCYGaNYiI/AAAAAAAAAa0/YHHcgO4ajvs/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B017.JPG" /></a>
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<br />As the taters were boiling, we noted that the chicken could probably go in the oven (for 45 minutes) at 400 degrees. But then to our horror, we saw that we also needed the oven for baking that coconut cake. The real dilemma was that the cake was to be in the oven for an hour at 350 degrees. Woe is us!!! Our initial solution to have everything done at roughly the same time (by this time, it was already around 7:30 PM), was to have the two items share the oven and set it to 375. Well, it was much too late in the process do cook them separately, so we went that direction with dubious high hopes.
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<br />Folks, this where it gets sideways. After an hour at 375, the stuff looked good. The cake was done and the chicken looked good and felt firm. I took the temp of the yard-bird and it read 180, so I assumed it was done.
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<br />In the meantime, back to the Purple Rain soup... it was time to add the shrimp and let it cook til pink. We also threw in some fish sauce and topped it with more green onions and parsley. It looked frightful, but smelled delightful.
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<br />So everything was done. Or so we thought.
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<br />Eating: We took the chilled daikon/carrot salad out of the fridge and served it up first. Very pickly and vinegary, but had a nice sugary sweetness to compliment the sour. The daichon had almost no flavor, but had a good bite and texture to it. Overall, it was a good dish, and I hope Ann Burrell is proud of my knife cuts.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639423789457606866" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eNNCgIAbkN4/TkNCDryCCNI/AAAAAAAAAas/-aE3m-qkDrA/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B018.JPG" />
<br />The purple yam soup... This eyesore of a stew was unappetizing to look at, but boy did it smell great. The aroma of potatoes and shrimp filled the room and made our mouths water. We dug in and ladled the soup over some rice. The taste was phenomenal. Surprisingly, the p<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--GOfm5yQgrA/TkNBaSkXGlI/AAAAAAAAAac/QSwmycW8sEs/s1600/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B015.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 187px; height: 233px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639423078314744402" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--GOfm5yQgrA/TkNBaSkXGlI/AAAAAAAAAac/QSwmycW8sEs/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B015.JPG" /></a>urple yams tasted more like regular baked potatoes and the little ground up shrimp pieces added some nice texture. It was like a baked potato soup/shrimp chowder combo, and it rocked.
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<br />And now the Plum Chicken... Looks great. Smells great. First layer of meat - GREAT. The rest of the hormone/steroid chicken breast--UNDERCOOKED. Of course, I blame HyVee's Poultry wrangler. No chicken breasts should be this ridiculously colossal. Ohhh the disappointment of having our first all-around successful dinner, ruined by some pink white meat. I threw them back in the oven, but it was too late... We were full up on Grimace Soup.
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<br />Yessir... the ugliest soup in the world was the hit of the evening. I would make this again in a heartbeat. And psssst... this just in: The dessert turned out to be a winner, winner, NO chicken for dinner! The Coconut cake was fan-freaking-tastic.
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<br />So although<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CviXzEytGMk/TkNBwKpqeJI/AAAAAAAAAak/uiJ44jW-p9M/s1600/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B019.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639423454146623634" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CviXzEytGMk/TkNBwKpqeJI/AAAAAAAAAak/uiJ44jW-p9M/s200/Cambodia%2Band%2BSt%2BLouis%2B019.JPG" /></a> we failed on the clucker, we rose to the occasion on the other three courses. Lessons learned: Give yourself enough time to prep and cook the dessert prior to everything else. Ovens are not made to share or compromise their temperature settings to average things out. We are smarter and better people because of this erroneous error in judgment.
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<br />So that does it for the C word... C is for Cambodia and Colossal Chickens. It also stands for Can't Cook Chicken/Cake Coexistently.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639422722406371506" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bQjLygfqepU/TkNBFktMULI/AAAAAAAAAaU/h6vtY_b53Uo/s200/Giant-Chicken-with-Farmer.png" />
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<br />Next stop around the world kitchens is D... and D is for Denmark... Stay tuned!</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>
<br />Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-20450206874804377142011-07-11T17:08:00.000-07:002011-07-11T18:00:30.197-07:00Worldwide Kitchen: Waxing Brazilian<div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bKpByOYVrXc/ThuZCV-FlFI/AAAAAAAAAaE/ZyMLROuNbZw/s1600/Brazil%2Bflag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 136px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628260424865911890" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bKpByOYVrXc/ThuZCV-FlFI/AAAAAAAAAaE/ZyMLROuNbZw/s200/Brazil%2Bflag.jpg" /></a><br />We're on to the letter "B" in our trip around the world of international taste travels, and we have landed in the country of Brazil. We also looked at Belgium and Bolivia. We thought Bahrain might be a little tough to tackle, so we eliminated that off our list early on. Belgium finished a close second though!<br /><br />Once again, Lauri and I researched the internet perusing several websites for Brazilian treats, and we came across several that had significant samplings of South American flavors. We opted for a seafood dish this time and wanted to take it easy on the yard-birds since we used those for the Armenian feast. We also wanted to make sure we had a vegetable dish, a bread item and a (gasp) dessert! If you read the last blog, you will recall that we blundered and bollixed that dessert like monkeys and footballs. Would Brazilian dessert serve us up the same fate?<br /><br />So on to the menu... We decided on a shrimp dish called "Vatapa" which consisted of a rue-like sauce with onions, crushed nuts, red chilies, garlic and smooshed up bread served with boiled shrimp over a bed of rice. For the vegetable, we chose a Brazilian potato salad called "Maionese" which sounds a lot like mayonnaise (for good reason, as you will find out). For the bread, we found a popular Brazilian item called "Queijo" which translates to cheese rolls. And then for dessert, we picked "Quindim" which is Portuguese for PAIN IN THE ASS, or otherwise known as egg and coconut pudding.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628263915049206466" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X6BqGVhTZrs/ThucNf6oQsI/AAAAAAAAAaM/JJYnxhihFP8/s200/Brazil%2B002.JPG" /><br /><br />In this go-around, Lauri and I wanted to make sure the ingredient list wasn't too difficult to come by, since last time we got stymied on currants, and pine nuts were too expensive. Everything looked relatively harmless with the most unusual ingredient being tapioca starch for the, you guessed it, dessert from hell. Tapioca starch, eh? The local HyVee has all kinds of flours, starches and organic ingredients--should be a piece of cake, right?<br /><br />Shopping: So off we go to the store with ingredient list in hand. The first time we went shopping for our Armenian dinner, we went to the nice, big HyVee with big aisles and helpful sm<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q5_kfeg6mN4/ThuVTiqQG4I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/VzqfqKbA05Q/s1600/Behind-the-People-of-People-of-Walmart-.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 125px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628256322283641730" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q5_kfeg6mN4/ThuVTiqQG4I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/VzqfqKbA05Q/s200/Behind-the-People-of-People-of-Walmart-.jpg" /></a>iles. The other HyVee that we chose to shop at this time had tight aisles and harmful frowns, with a side of rudeness and Seinfeld-like jerkstore behaviors from the regulars. What is the deal with people hanging around the end of an aisle blocking the entrance/exit while they look at the plethora of taco seasoning packets? Is there that big a difference between Old El Paso and Ortega??? At $.29 a packet, I'm thinking "just pick both, lady!"<br /><br />In our usual fashion of wandering down aisles, we hit our first road-bump for finding red chilies... UGH. I asked the produce girl if they had such a thing, and she quipped, "Why no sir, we don't." GREAT. So I hit the salad section and picked up a tube of red chili paste-this will have to do. Everything else was attainable and easy until it was time for the tapioca starch. Ezqueeze me, I baking powder? Yes, we have no tapioca starch today! Again, we strike out on a key ingredient, so after milling about aimlessly in the Ethnic section, we decided to hit the specialty Mexican grocery store downtown. The excitement was back and we bounded out to the car with a renewed sense of purpose... That is, until the Mexican store had NOTHING of the sort. I asked the grocer lady if she even heard of such a thing and she said NO way, Hose Ay. So let's use cornstarch, okay? Starch is starch, right? Wrong.<br /><br />Prep: Prep was a breeze compared to Armenian night which took about six hours. Brazil night only required about three hours. Once again, we tag-teamed on getting stuff ready. I handled the veggie prep and Lauri got all the dry and wet ingredients in order. Once again, I found myself peeling potatoes and probably a little of my knuckles for about 30 minutes. I also cut and chopped carrots, onions, hearts of palm, olives and green beans. I had quite a nice batch of diced veggies for the potato salad. By the way, this is the first time, we have ever had heart of palm... it had the consistency and look of string cheese and tastes a bit like water chestnuts, but the texture was much softer, like a hard-boiled egg. In any event, stirred all that stuff up into a bowl with an entire jar of mayonnaise and at that point, I figured out why they call this dish "maionese." Once I had the potatoes well-boiled, I cooled them off in cold water, and mixed them up with their veggie brethren, then popped it into the fridge.<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M7k57BvLzdo/ThuUqSBoQ-I/AAAAAAAAAZ0/qV-QsJNpVsI/s1600/Brazil%2B009.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628255613443654626" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M7k57BvLzdo/ThuUqSBoQ-I/AAAAAAAAAZ0/qV-QsJNpVsI/s200/Brazil%2B009.JPG" /></a><br />Lauri had begun prep on the cheese rolls and egg/coconut pudding dishes. She had to separate an entire carton of eggs and only use egg yolks for the pudding. 12 egg yolks for a snack pack of pudding? Holy cholesterol, fatman! She added coconut milk, shredded coconut, sugar and even more sugar. Into the oven it went, and we were hoping that it would set.<br /><br />The cheese rolls were a bit easier as it required starch, eggs, parmesan cheese and water. Again, we had to opt for a substitute ingredient and used cornstarch instead of the mysterious tapioca starch, which I am not even sure exists. And once again, we crossed our fingers that these would turn out okay.</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628255349141539170" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FsjN6WlK2_U/ThuUa5bGCWI/AAAAAAAAAZs/TIYDeVSSod4/s200/Brazil%2B006.JPG" /><br />And finally, the main course. We used frozen shrimp, (which was already cooked) and just let it thaw. The recipe called for frozen shrimp, but I would recommend raw, as cooked frozen shrimp dries out really quickly when cooking. </div><div> In the meantime, Lauri was blending the bread chunks with coconut milk to get that thick saucy goodness ready. I got the trusty slap-chop device out and proceeded to pummel an onion, garlic and red chili paste into oblivion for the rue. I also reduced two cups of cashews and peanuts into a fine powder with this wonderful, as-seen-on-TV device. Once I was finished crushing defenseless ingredients, I had to take a shower. I never knew how much work went into all that cutting board violence. With the shrimp thawed, the veggies and nuts chopped, it was time to start cooking.<br /><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RHpdQ1_RuJU/ThuUMO4nd-I/AAAAAAAAAZk/ebxypYFtyhQ/s1600/Brazil%2B005.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628255097204471778" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RHpdQ1_RuJU/ThuUMO4nd-I/AAAAAAAAAZk/ebxypYFtyhQ/s200/Brazil%2B005.JPG" /></a><br />Cooking: The potato salad was done and sitting in the fridge getting cold. We already tasted it, and it was exceptional and we will probably make it again. The pudding was just getting done. Lauri stuck a fork in it and it came out clear. AWESOME, we are two for two! Not so fast, my friend... She put it in a pan of ice water to cool and after about 20 minutes, dumped it out onto a plate. SPLAT! That freaking pudding was set on top, but the bottom was still runny and hotter than liquid hot magma. The old lady was beside herself (not unlike me a few weeks ago) and threatened to throw it into the sink. I had to calm her down by offering her a nice rum drink. So we threw it back in the bundt tin, and stuck it in the freezer.<br /><br />The first batch of cheese rolls had just come out of the oven and they looked like those cheddar biscuits you get at Red Lobster. They had no smell whatsoever and when we sampled one, it was as bland as uhhh, cornstarch. Yes, the damned cornstarch dominated the little biscuits and masked the parmesan cheese. They were also as dense as Jupiter. Still, they looked wonderful.</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tFHsqDPgoW8/ThuTwi1YolI/AAAAAAAAAZc/2Kn_xatT7mQ/s1600/Brazil%2B011.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 150px; height: 200px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628254621523288658" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tFHsqDPgoW8/ThuTwi1YolI/AAAAAAAAAZc/2Kn_xatT7mQ/s200/Brazil%2B011.JPG" /></a><br />The shrimp dish was going swimmingly as the rue came together with the sautéing of the onions, garlic and red chili paste, mixed with some olive oil and the smooshed bread. Then we boiled the shrimp. We took the shrimp water and added it slowly to the rue and it thickened nicely. We made some rice to accompany the sauce and it turned out beautifully. Then finally we added the shrimp to the rue mixture and things were looking good.<br /><br />Until we checked the pudding again... Although it sat in the freezer for a good 30-45 minutes, it still had the consistency of gravy. What is it with us and desserts? We are Oh for TWO on dessert items. However, I wanted to take a picture of everything, so I blended the pudding water with the cooked chunks into a smoothie-like mixture and poured it into martini glasses, and then I put a little whip cream on top. I happened to get a couple snapshots before the whip cream literally sunk to the bottom the glass.</div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628254051378426850" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CY_2z45Ly64/ThuTPW4Qc-I/AAAAAAAAAZU/gMdn3K6eQdk/s200/Brazil%2B014.JPG" /><br /><br />TIME to EAT! Everything looked delectable and we couldn't get our hands on that potato salad fast enough. It was chilled to perfection and ready to hit our gullets. The rice and shrimp mixture was staring us in the face as if to say, "Hey, we are the main course, chuckleheads--EAT US!" To be fair, I plated the shrimp dish next to the potato salad before I dug in. We then begrudgingly took a couple cornstarch rolls knowing that meh... they are a dense, tasteless ball of cement, but we felt obligated to each have one to complete the meal.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628253853907747522" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TMZ12jIWq5E/ThuTD3PlAsI/AAAAAAAAAZM/4J10xCbsyUw/s200/Brazil%2B012.JPG" /><br /><br />The shrimp dish was very tasty, but surprisingly, lacked heat. It was very nutty and earthy with the crushed nuts and onions dominating the flavor profile. You would think with red chilies added, that it would pack a little fire, but alas, the dish was cooler than the Fonz punching Ralph Malph in the arm. It was still tasty and how can you not love shrimpies? The potato salad was definitely the star of the show, as it was perfect in every way. Cool, creamy and chock full of flavors. I ate part of the cheese roll and snuck the rest of it to the dogs who were chewing on them like rawhide before swallowing. <img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628253485552895730" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ao_laFq3tYg/ThuSubA8BvI/AAAAAAAAAZE/jg2OjTF1cbk/s200/Brazil%2B015.JPG" /><br /><br />Since we had tasted and sampled so many things before the actual dining experience, we became full quicker than normal. The pudding syrup would have to wait. Then, the unenviable task of cleanup took place and leftovers put away. I packed away some potato salad for my sister and mom and left a little bit for Skye (our son). He ate it the next day and seemed to like it a lot. Then I told him it had hearts of palm, and he turned 3 shades of blue. "You can't even tell it's in there, man!" You know these young people--if it doesn't have cheese, meat or ketchup, it's no good!<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 176px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628252667867399714" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xzpO1w547eg/ThuR-05hhiI/AAAAAAAAAY8/RcWu3KvHtxs/s200/disgust.jpg" /><br /><div>So that wraps up the Brazilian Feast, and for the most part, it was a success. Overall, it was less spicy than you would think for South American fare, but delicious nonetheless. Again, there are a few ingredients that are hard to find, or may trip you up if the right substitute is not available.<br /><br />Viva la Brasilia and keep adding that spice to your culinary experience!<br /><br />Next up: C is for Cambodia </div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-75724682305288348502011-06-27T22:10:00.000-07:002011-06-28T15:11:06.990-07:00World Wide Kitchen - A is for Armenian<div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jEkMnKj6q1Q/TglmBjmfAsI/AAAAAAAAAYs/xmKPKINetWs/s1600/armenian%2Bflag.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 154px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623137786671334082" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jEkMnKj6q1Q/TglmBjmfAsI/AAAAAAAAAYs/xmKPKINetWs/s200/armenian%2Bflag.gif" /></a>Once upon a time, my wife Lauri and I were dining in Iowa City, and as we were eating, we discussed having a joint cooking night once a month where we would take a country, starting with the letter "A" and make a feast honoring that country's local cuisine. We spent the next hour going over all the "A" and "B" countries that we could experiment with and came up with Armenia for our first project. The next day, as we were killing time in a Barnes and Noble Book store, we happened across some International Cookbooks to give us some ideas and a head start.<br /><br />The next few weeks were spent on Google looking up recipes that sounded good and were not unreasonably difficult. We found several websites dedicated to Armenian cooking and recipes and found that the food was similar to Mediterranean, Greek and a touch of Middle Eastern. So we landed on Armenian Chicken Pilaf, Red Lentil and Potato Kuftah, a Salad and Homemade Apricot candy. Sounds easy enough, right? NOT so fast my friend!<br /><br />Shopping: This turned out to be an adventure as we were in search of items we never bought before. Dried currants, pine nuts, lentils to name a few. We went to one of the bigger grocery stores just to be on the safe side. The veggies and chicken were easy enough to find, however, we struck out on currants. We also came across pine nuts and noted that all the other nuts and seeds were $1.99, but a <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5KXa9rth92A/TglliJTV4_I/AAAAAAAAAYc/c6RmUOeGtE8/s1600/armenian%2B006.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623137247035778034" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5KXa9rth92A/TglliJTV4_I/AAAAAAAAAYc/c6RmUOeGtE8/s200/armenian%2B006.JPG" /></a>small bag of pine nuts cost $11.99... HUH? I then decided that perhaps we can substitute soy nuts for pine nuts and save us $10. We came across lentils in the dried bean section, but not the red kind. We finally made it over the organic food section and found red lentils in the bulk-help-yourself section, so we hid the other lentils behind some almond milk and grabbed the red ones. We also grabbed some dried cherries to substitute for the currants. Shopping = DONE!<br /><br />Prep: This turned out to be quite the project as onions, tomatoes and potatoes had to be chopped, peeled, de-seeded, de-veined, de-iced and de-glazed. Honestly, our cutting board got quite the workout. The most physically challenging of the prep work had to be the dried apricot "destruction." We really needed a food processor for this task, but all we had was the As Seen ON TV "slap chop" device. Both of us hammered away at these chewy gooey fruits for 15 minutes until sweat was dripping down my forehead and my wife's eyeballs were rolled back in her head.<br /><br />Then it was on to the veggies... Tomatoes--peel and de-seed. I skipped the peel part and went to the seed removal. I basically cut all the inside parts of the tomato out so it was just a tomato shell when I got done. Just didn't seem right to rip the skin off too--what would be left? Then I cut those into small chunks and did it four times. Then it was time to prepare the taters. The recipe called for both diced and mashed. I peeled the potatoes, cut them in small chunks and dropped them in water. I took another potato and peeled that one, then cut into tiny diced cubes--put aside in more water. And then the onions--both the meat and veggie dishes called for onions and thankfully, they could be prepared the same way... chopped into smithereens. Once again, the Slap Chop made an appearance and I smashed those unjuns into little bits.<br /><br />In the meantime, Lauri was attempting to make the apricot candy and was having a hell of a time getting the stuff to set up firmly, so I suggested using a little corn starch and water. This was not helpful, of course, because corn starch only works on stuff you don't need it to work on.<br /><br />At this point, we started drinking and taking breaks. I was contemplating taking a shower.<br /><br />Cooking: With most of the food ready to be cooked, we still had to "sort" out the lentils. Have you seen a lentil? They look like tiny microscopic watermelon seeds. How does one sort things of such miniscule profile? We examined them with the help of a Hubbell space telescope and they l<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BKxu6IapxHk/Tgll3YRmZII/AAAAAAAAAYk/572CYdhvpUY/s1600/Red_Split_Lentils.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623137611832255618" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BKxu6IapxHk/Tgll3YRmZII/AAAAAAAAAYk/572CYdhvpUY/s200/Red_Split_Lentils.jpg" /></a>ooked clean and in good working order. By the way, a lentil is from the legume family, which produces beans primarily. We never cooked lentils before so had to GTS (google that sh*t) it to get tips. It seems you have to boil them for anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour. DOH!<br /><br />So we put the lentils in water and set to boil them, then started to boil the potatoes for mashing. The smaller diced potatoes needed to be fried so I fried them up and set them aside. As the lentils cooked, they had an odd aroma of cream of wheat and they started puffing up. Even after 30 minutes and doubling in size, the husks on these little seedlings were still tough as toenails, so we kept cooking them. Then the onions finally went down and I sautéed them in butter, salt and pepper until they were soft and not quite caramelized. Finally the lentils were soft enough (in my opinion) after 45 minutes. So I then mashed the taters, threw in the lentils and a cup of flour to make a doughy mixture that were to be shaped into balls. These dough balls were to be stuffed with the diced taters, onions, cherries and soynuts and then fried. Piece of cake, right? WR<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YAA_l5PY-VM/TgllUYt9qBI/AAAAAAAAAYU/uGj974wK5K4/s1600/angry-chef-6.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 154px; height: 200px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623137010655799314" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YAA_l5PY-VM/TgllUYt9qBI/AAAAAAAAAYU/uGj974wK5K4/s200/angry-chef-6.jpg" /></a>ONG.<br /><br />The next 30 minutes were spent in a profanity-laced tirade as these doughy balls from hell would not form or solidify. So I then added a little more flour. Lo and behold, the problem worsened and I had a sticky mess of mashed potato and lentil mortar paste. This mixture pissed me off so thoroughly that I took a handful of it and threw it in sink as hard as I could. The dough explosion splashed everywhere and when it splattered Lauri, I thought she was going to kick me in the lentils. Thankfully, she remained calm and understanding, which in turn, made me settle down a bit. This was, after all, supposed to be a fun project...<div><div><div><div><div> </div><p><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623135944118960530" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zrKgnjbV7f0/TglkWTjxAZI/AAAAAAAAAX8/zXyrLuqnr3o/s200/armenian%2B004.JPG" /><br />The chicken and rice were a slam dunk, thanks to Lauri's patience and good directions. Brown the chicken, add the veggies and stock, throw in the rice and simmer. It all came together quite nicely.<br /><br />As the chicken and rice was cooking, I was still trying to make those freaking mush balls and I had resorted to pouring oil on my hands to keep that sludge from sticking to my digits. That cement would still not cooperate, so instead of trying to stuff the filling in and wrap the dough around it, we just took the filling, mixed it with the dough and started dropping it in the oil.</p><div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623136169015291474" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hWDw_-SOq48/TglkjZXOrlI/AAAAAAAAAYE/uF4-XxiJxhg/s200/armenian%2B005.JPG" /><br />Now that we had it all figured out, it was time to EAT!<br /><br />Eating: Everything smelled great and looked pretty darn good. We started with the salad, which had a few lettuce types, mixed in with a Greek vinaigrette, garbanzo beans and tomatoes. So far, so good. Then it was time to dive into the chicken and rice pilaf, which looked delicious, but deep d<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eSAL7G0UOpc/Tglk-V4jwrI/AAAAAAAAAYM/zHzOFucrYfk/s1600/armenian%2B007.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 150px; height: 200px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623136631937811122" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eSAL7G0UOpc/Tglk-V4jwrI/AAAAAAAAAYM/zHzOFucrYfk/s200/armenian%2B007.JPG" /></a>own, we just wanted it to be cooked all the way. Nothing worse than slaving over a meal, then finding out the chicken is still raw in the middle after serving it. I cut into the thigh and breathed a sigh of relief as the yardbird was cooked perfectly. The rice, which was actual rice, not that minute crap, was also cooked to perfection (who knew?).<br /><br />Then those painful potato paste puffs, well, they actually tasted pretty damn good, despite the nightmarish prep. They were fried to a golden brown and the flavors of the onions, cherries and the salty diced taters were nicely sprinkled throughout. Everything was seasoned nicely. It's amazing the contributions that simple kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper make to a meal when done appropriately.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the apricot candy never made it to our gullets. After freezing it, scalding it, baking it, it stayed the same sludgy con<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_hEhtJaWDMc/TglmWXOSlTI/AAAAAAAAAY0/_Jh056YzCQs/s1600/armenian%2B003.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623138144125883698" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_hEhtJaWDMc/TglmWXOSlTI/AAAAAAAAAY0/_Jh056YzCQs/s200/armenian%2B003.JPG" /></a>sistency from the get-go. We even set it out overnight to see if it would solidify - zip, nada, bubkas! I suggested putting it all in a jar and calling it jam, but the old lady told me to jam it between my knees.</div><div><br /> </div><div>All in all, it was a great experience and a successful first project. From recipe research to shopping, prepping, cooking and eating, this endeavor was met with an appetite for adventure and a hunger for the unknown.<br /><br />Next up is B is for Brazil!</div></div></div></div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-76668321456030967362011-05-26T13:50:00.001-07:002011-05-26T14:13:40.658-07:00Is there a Priest in the House?<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_kpR7S4oceU/Td7BYozGcYI/AAAAAAAAAXg/cuKH_tnVz_o/s1600/Judas_Priest_Background.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611134814762987906" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 160px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_kpR7S4oceU/Td7BYozGcYI/AAAAAAAAAXg/cuKH_tnVz_o/s200/Judas_Priest_Background.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The 11th season of Idol is in the books… What have we learned and what have we taken away from this season? The Finale show last night was superb, as they have been the past several seasons. If you don’t choose to watch the show weekly, you should catch the finale anyway.<br /><br />Once again, the big hitters showed up to perform (mostly) live and again, we have some amazing duets and lots of surprises. <br /><div><br /><div>As I defiantly stated, I was not interested in the showdown between Scoddy and Laurena. My understanding is that there were six country songs and Lauren actually had the better night. However, that would have just added to my disdain for the voting process as Scoddy has won every week by a landslide for several weeks (according to DialIdol.com). This week was no exception. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611133186907016050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 143px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W_6Ux5Tm8os/Td6_54j_i3I/AAAAAAAAAW4/VhGzytatpl8/s200/americanidol110525winner.jpg" border="0" />So the results of the show last night were a foregone conclusion for me and I just wanted to enjoy the show for the other performances. And not just the performers, but the juggheads as well… We got to hear RJAXX rinse and repeat the phrase “in it to win it!” about six thousand times. Perhaps next year, we get a Randy doll to sit in, the kind with the pull string on the back, and have it say “in it to win it” and “it was pitchy”. The show could save some money that way. JLOW’s bit was cheesy, and Tyler’s bit was hilarious. The addition of LIPS and JLOW was great for the show.<br /><br />On to the performances, and I’m not sure these are in order or not, so bare with it!<br /><br />Group performance by everyone: I haven’t seen this much cheese since I visited that Wisconsin deli. All the posturing, posing, crotch-grabbing and other unsavory shenanigans was one big fondue pot of molten limburger. C+<br /><br />And then Durbin gets to perform with one of my favorite bands of all time, Judas Priest! I had wondered out loud on several occasions before the show if the Priest would show up, and here they are! Total kick@ss performance and show by the British metal band. Keep in mind, these guys are 62 yrs old. Take that ya jackanapes! A+<br /></div><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611134397915042210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 107px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DmpirdbLF1o/Td7BAX6zkaI/AAAAAAAAAXY/X6pL9WnBgeY/s200/american-idol-judas-priest-durbin-2011.jpg" border="0" /> Then Jakub Lush comes out with his flubbercheeks, and I didn’t hesitate for one second to fast-forward through the whole thing. I have earned the right to fast-forward anything that this goofstick sings, as I had to critique the horrid sounds that were emanating from his vocal septic tank all season long. F-<br /><br />Grizzly Abrams and Jack Black: This was vocally, AWFUL. This duet was funny and very entertaining, but if you were to grade singing, it would get a D- … However, it was a neat diversion from the pressure of competition and I was still on a natural high from the freedom and relief of fast forwarding past Jakub Lush. B-<br /><br />Girls doing a medley of stuff… It was fine, not sure if it was live or not—they all sounded too good. I’m a bit suspicious. To be honest, I forgot most of the girl’s names, but then again, I am not good with actual names. Most of the girls got eliminated too early so there ya go. B<br /><br />Oh yah, and Beyonce came out with the ladies and showed them how do it right. A </div><br /><div><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YckRZV8z1iE/Td7CAug668I/AAAAAAAAAXo/dvhc8bB0Fyk/s1600/haley-reinhart-photo.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611135503492115394" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 132px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YckRZV8z1iE/Td7CAug668I/AAAAAAAAAXo/dvhc8bB0Fyk/s200/haley-reinhart-photo.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Haley and Tony Bennett: Haley rocked and didn’t get enough exposure last night. She should have been in the final. Her duet with Tony was spot-on and all the other times she was highlighted, she showed everyone that she belonged in that finale. I’m hangin’ this on the producers and it should be a scream for help to install a new voting system…. A<br /><br />Scoddy and McGraw: It was decent, well sung, nice chemistry. It smelled of leather and Marlboros. It had a brokeback mountain vibe to it. Nicely done… B<br /><br />Marc Anthony with dirty dancing by JLOW… The singing was meh…. And in Espanol… Sheila E is in the house—she must be about 60 yrs old, but can still beat the skins. JLOW and her famous uhhh Dairy Air were proudly on display and made me wonder what their home life is like… B+<br /><br />Guys with Tom Jones: What’s new pussycat? Having Durbin sing that made me laugh. Seeing Tom Jones made me chuckle a little as well. The ladies got Beyonce, who is current, and the guys get Tom Jones who they had to break out of a museum to show up. Tom Jones is so old, when he went to school, there was no such thing as a History class. C+ <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LLX_IkSEct8/Td7At09zC0I/AAAAAAAAAXQ/D33-2nR1zjw/s1600/lady_gaga-pg-horizontal.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611134079294704450" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LLX_IkSEct8/Td7At09zC0I/AAAAAAAAAXQ/D33-2nR1zjw/s200/lady_gaga-pg-horizontal.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lady GAGA: We finally get the live performance that we thought we were going to get a couple weeks ago. She is hugely talented and weird at the same time. Her wardrobe choices are beyond the boundaries of earth. However, the lady can sing, and play a piano like no one’s business. I respect that and I admire her for never having to use the godforsaken auto-tune! Thank YOU!! The song was cool, the production was slick, but my only criticism was that guy who was molesting her on the fake mountain. I wish he would have fell into a vat of molten cheese. A for Gaga… F for that chucklehead at the end.<br /><br />Laurena and Carrie Spraytan Underwood: Nice sassy performance by both, although Carrie looked like she’s been fasting for two weeks—c’mon eat something, Underwood! Lauren held her own and will go on to be successful in the hee-haw world. A- </div><br /><div><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qnB7WsNUza4/Td7Ab40eznI/AAAAAAAAAXI/GUKwN18NAJI/s1600/01222011-beyonce-picture.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611133771091725938" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 118px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 157px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qnB7WsNUza4/Td7Ab40eznI/AAAAAAAAAXI/GUKwN18NAJI/s200/01222011-beyonce-picture.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Beyonce Part Deux: Hmmmm, how does one guest singer get two different spots on the show? As much as I respect Beyonce, I have to say that this song caused emotional distress and excruciating discomfort. I had to take qtips to get all the sap out of my ears after that aural contamination. D+<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />U2 with Spiderman: by this time, it is obvious that everything is a promotion for something else. Oh wait, I figured that out in the first minute. It was decent with the funky acrobatics and whatnot. The song was well done. Does that Edge guy ever NOT wear a hat? I wonder if he has an exposed brain, perhaps born without a skull? The spider-kiss with JLOW at the end was an epic FAIL. B+<br /><br />Steven Tyler (Lips): The old goat still has the chops and who knew he could play the piano? At age 87, he can still screech like Phyllis Diller on nitrates. Super good, fantastic… it was *****ing great! A<br /><br />So now it’s time to announce the winner. So far, great concert for an hour and 45 minutes, and finally the results. Of course, we all know it’s Scoddy the Botty! Sure enough, to no one’s shock and haw, McCreery wins it hands down. Scotty, you Alfred E Newman lookin’ hillbilly!<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611133522944675746" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 119px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YfopjCJ2mtY/Td7ANcZnT6I/AAAAAAAAAXA/2uapmU2p7Ec/s200/scotty%2Bmic.jpg" border="0" /><br />Congratulations country boy!<br /><br />It was a promising season, with great talent and cohesive judges. For the most part, it was fair and impartial, until the end when Durbin and Haley went home prematurely. In addition, Jakub overstayed his welcome by about six weeks. Voting limitations will be the only way this gets fixed.<br /><br />So thanks everyone for your comments and feedback. I truly enjoy the banter. What do YOU think of Season 11???<br /><br /><br />OUT<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-16078021668242473692011-05-19T15:10:00.000-07:002011-05-19T15:19:02.395-07:00Trippin on Zeppelin<div><div><div>First of all, we lost Durbin last week--I know, I know... some of you are glad, and some of you vowed to drink paint before you ever watch Idol again. Personally, I was disappointed. He brought a different genre to light on Idol that has never been seen before and performed it well.<br /><br />And now he's gone... and we have two country singers and a rock/jazz fusion goddess left. To prevent this from becoming Nashville Idol, I am hoping that Haley stays alive to face Scoddy the Scooder McCooter in the finale. Did she do enough to ensure that spot in the final two?<br /><br />The format for the night is singer's choice, Jimmy Bovine's choice and Juggheads' choice... Three songs for each performer. We also have Beyonce, who is there for moral support and positive feedback.</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 170px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608555136979334338" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sz4ygdQ5BYA/TdWXLoLYdMI/AAAAAAAAAWw/1eQ57bdGmsA/s200/hee-haw.jpg" /><br /><br />So here we go, starting with...<br /><br />Scoddy McCooter - Amazed by Lonestar: I wasn't amazed at the song or the performance, but it was typical Scoddy. Maybe this was HOT for you country fans, I am just not feeling it. Scoddy is so good at singing country songs, it almost seems to easy. B+<div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 199px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608554635210721986" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xKf9rlcLxMw/TdWWua8bCsI/AAAAAAAAAWg/mGmIfJHqFZc/s200/Alfred%2BE%2BNewman.gif" /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 208px; height: 159px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608554918394454562" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xPOcnhTpsj0/TdWW-54r4iI/AAAAAAAAAWo/Xg9qSas0SR4/s200/scotty.jpg" /><br /><br />Laurena Alien - Wild One by Faith Hill: Again, another country song--this is going to be a long night! Like Scoddy, Lauren is very solid and capable of singing great country music. No exception here, but as I write this today, I can barely remember this performance! B<br /><br />Haley Risinghart - What is and What Should Never Be by Led Zeppelin: Wow, the song choice by Haley blew me out of the water. But how would she perform? How about SMOKIN HOT! This was one of those performances that I will never forget. And no, not cuz she fell down! To top it off, her dad shredded on the axe with his own daughter in front of millions--can it get better than that? A<br /><br />HERE'S JIMMY!!! Time for the perpetual HAT-head to pick some good songs! Jimmy Jimmy Coco Puff!<br /><br />Scoddy - Are you Gonna Kiss Me or Not by Meh Country Band: Scoddy is sportin the guitar on this song. That, and his googly eyes are all that I can recall about this performance. B<br /><br />Lauren - If I Die Young by Band Perry: It's supposed to be a hurtful downer of a song, but peppy Lauren will make it upbeat! Other than missing a "key change" (in her own words), the song was fine. Not blown away by Lauren yet, how will she do on #3? B-<br /><br />Haley - Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac: Good song choice, but someone did this song last season and they failed to impress - let's see How Haley fares... and the verdict is? Fantastic! Take that, Redneck Idol! By this time, I am firmly in Haley's corner and hoping she can pull out a WIN! BTW, great use of the smoke and wind machine! B+<br /><br />Before we move to Juggies'choices, we must first witness a portion of Beyonce's new music video, which is an interesting mix of Spartacus meets Mad Max. She even blows up a car with her mind powers. How about you blow up Seacrest's arms a bit--they are looking a little shriveled lately.<br /><br />In any event... on to the Chucklehead choices!<br /><br />Scoddy - She Believes in Me by Kenny Rogers: Baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low... Oops, that was Scoddy's dad! Hey how bout another country song, and make it a ballad too! Right on sirs! The chorus brought Scotty out of his lower register comfort zone, but it sounded forced and unnatural. He still did a decent job with it, and will be in the Finals cuz gramma said so. B<br /><br />Lauren - I Hope you Choke by Leann Womack: Shocker! Country Song! Honestly, I was almost sleeping when this song was performed. I can only take so much sappy hee-haw music and then it all sounds like white noise with chaps and spurs. I think this was slightly better than her other songs, but overall, a pretty average night. B+<br /><br />Haley - You Oughtta Know by Alannis Morissette: SWEET--love this song and I have wanted her to sing this all season. First, we gotta edit out the nasties, of course. Started the song a little on the soft side, maybe a little too soft. However, when the chorus and angry parts came up, she smoked 'em! YOU, YOU, YOU! Oughtta Know that Haley is I I T W I !!!!!!! A-<br /><br />Rankings for Tri-fecta Night:<br /><br />Haley<br />Scoddy<br />Lauren<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 125px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608554438290091490" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5pGhFbfcTxg/TdWWi9W4reI/AAAAAAAAAWY/VtXtCZha9EA/s200/haley.jpg" /><br /><br />In my opinion, Haley is the clear winner. She picked the best song, and she successfully sang whatever else they threw at her. Scotty and Lauren didn't leave their comfort zones at all, and quite frankly, they were boring (for me). I am thinking a Haley/Scotty finale is in the making, and that would be pretty cool. A Scotty/Lauren finale would be disastrous. Nothing against Lauren, but only enough room for one country kid.<br /><br />So long, blue-eyed Lauren. We will miss your Prom and Pirate's dresses, and your spitt'n image Mom and the 300 other members of your family.<br /><br />Haley vs Scotty for the big mozzarella!!! Until next week...<br /><br /><br />OUT</div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-1097691902100359642011-05-11T22:44:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:48:33.587-07:00Gaga me with a Spoon<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--_nVoenPd-w/Tct0g69sFCI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/x_tmzjtKtxo/s1600/Lady-Gaga-Farmville-9S45GU8-x.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605702270125347874" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--_nVoenPd-w/Tct0g69sFCI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/x_tmzjtKtxo/s200/Lady-Gaga-Farmville-9S45GU8-x.jpg" /></a>It's Final Four night, but without the basketball players and March Madness hoopla. In fact, the only hoopla is how Lady Gaga's makeup can get any freakier. So the themes tonight are "Inspirational Songs" and some songbook by small balding man in front row. I was thinking that we may be in for a long night if song choice becomes an issue, as it oftentimes does. At this stage of the game, you better be bringing the performance and picking great songs. This, unfortunately, didn't happen.<br /><br />The night started off promising as we hear that Durbin is going to be doing some Journey as his inspirational number. So here we go...<br /><br />James "hips" Durbinator - Don't Stop Believin by Journey: It was a matter of time before Durbin did RJAXX a tribute by doing a Journey song and he did this one right. Great performance, including the Journey shirt, tails, lunchbox and video game. Ex-Journey bass player Randy eats it up (along with a lot of pizzas). The judges loved it, the crowd ate it up and James proved that he was back from an ungood performance last week. A<div><div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 142px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605702083810948738" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qy8PxdwHByY/Tct0WE439oI/AAAAAAAAAWI/wXcPqItzzRk/s200/James-Durbin-Saturday-Nights-Alright-For-Fighting-Elton-John-American-Idol-10-.png" /><br />Helly Grindhart - Earth Song by Michael Jackson: Dear lord, Hailey, you either hit it out off the park or you blow yourself up like pop rocks in soda can. This was the latter. The judges were harsh (except Lips, who must be conditioned like the guy in Clockwork Orange to not say or do anything negative). I agree with RJAXX and JLOWW--poor song choice and confusing as to her direction as an artist. Clearly frustated, she talked a little smack back to Randy (not good). I applaud that the song was inspirational to her, but this is a freakin' competition--gotta go for the win baby! C<br /><br />Scoddy the Botty McQuery - Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning by Hillbilly Jackson: Yukkety Yuk... a song about 9/11. Again, I respect the personal inspiration that Scoddy has from this song, but I personally didn't care for it. Songs that imply that one is not political, are political, and with recent events, this was a golden opportunity to display the old red, white and blue. Smart move by McQuery, but to me, not entertaining and not inspiring. Just sayin! B-<br /><br />Laurena Bobbit Alaina - Anyway by Martina McBride: Meh... Another snoozer country song that I never heard of. Great dress though--Hey Lauren, Cap'n Jack Sparrow is looking for his wardrobe! Maybe if she would have worn an eye patch, the song would have inspired more. She sang good enough and I think did enough to beat Haley in this round. B<br /><br />Before Round Two starts, SeaKrust must first embarrass the performers by standing them up like kindergarteners in front of the judges to get an early feel for where they stand. Of course JLOWW and Lips take the high road, but RJAXX hits Haley right in the bread basket with his "3 way tie" remark... Nicely done Chuckles.<br /><br />Round Two: Songs by the Law Firm of Lieber, Stoller, Cheatem and Howe<br /><br />To further confuse things, they throw the order of singers out of whack and we start with Haley:<br /><br />Haley Blackhart - I Who Have Nothing by Edith Pilaf: Rice who? As Haley often does, she slays this song after an earlier misstep. I wasn't sure how this would go after she started, but after digesting the overall performance, I thought it was masterful. For Pete's sakes, Haley, can you not pick two good songs in a row? I'm rooting for Haley to get to the final three, but not convinced that she's done enough overall. A<br /><br />Scooty McTooty - Young Blood by the Coasters: His banter with Gaga was great and gross at the same time. His performance was silly and borderline clown-like. His insane eye movements coupled with his alligator arms made him look like an escaped inmate from the nut factory. But it was much more fun than his previous number, so I'll give him props for not being boring and dry. B<br /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 132px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605701897741367154" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-spePNZwhrcM/Tct0LPubd3I/AAAAAAAAAWA/JY5gK11_qws/s200/Scotty-McCreery-Gone-American-Idol-Top-5-Video-MP3.jpg" /><br />Cap'n Jack Alaina - Trouble by Elvis: Yes, Miss Wholesome, we know you aren't "really" evil, so just play the role and have some fun. Lauren actually did a sweet job with this song and played it out like she should have. The performance was good and she didn't seem so nervous this time. Her and Haley are going to battle for 3rd place I think after tonight. B+<br /><br />Hippy James Durbin - Love Potion #9 by Elvis Presley: In the rehearsal, it appeared that this might be Crap Potion #10. However, they turned it into a rock song and Durbin did his thing. Does anyone else notice that Durbin has big-ass hips? At any rate, it was a solid performance, although it got a little weird and indulgent at the end. B+<br /><br />Rankings for Uninspirational Songs:<br /><br />Durbin<br />Lauren<br />Scoddy<br />Haley<br /><br />Rankings for small bald man Songs"<br /><br />Haley<br />Durbin<br />Lauren<br />Scoddy<div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 125px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605701632199868546" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-henpsZACZCo/Tctz7ygZwII/AAAAAAAAAV4/EJjCZn07i9A/s200/alg_haley-reinhart.jpg" /><br /><br />Overall, it doesn't matter as I believe that it's a James vs Scotty finale. Lauren or Haley will go home Thursday. I believe that Haley's inconsistency and talking back to the judges will doom her and she will probably be the one who goes. Grizzly Abrams will be waiting with open arms and stinky beard.<br /><br />At least we don't have to listen to Jakub anymore.<br /><br /><br />OUT</div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-36330838342580779892011-05-05T07:44:00.000-07:002011-05-05T07:51:41.046-07:00Jakub Lusk: Not in it to win it<div><div><div>In a new wrinkle on theme nights, the Idol gang gets to sing songs from "then" and "now." Something old, something new, something boring, something blew. We also have dubiously impeccable song advisor Jimmy Bovine and Sheryl Crow to help the kids out in their time of need. The performers get to do two songs each, so unfortunately, we have to listen to Lusk treat our ears to audible waterboarding multiple times</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603244359009458946" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fVYT2bA9t4I/TcK5Dqh4WwI/AAAAAAAAAVw/VT9I36pzP2M/s200/sheryl_crow_93s8b_24429.jpg" />.<br /><br />According to RJAX, it's time to show whether or not "you are in it to win it." We will hear this phrase on more than once occasion on this night...sigh.<br /><br />So first up is our resident rock god, King James of Durbinville.<br /><br />Durbinator: Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars - Judging by James' attire, I assumed we would be in store for some hard rockin' metal, but instead Durbin opted for some radio-friendly comtempo-schmaltz to entertain us. Personally, I thought it was his weakest performance to date and didn't care for it at all. It was a bit "pitchy" and lacked authenticity. I am already looking forward to his second song and redemption. B<br /><br />Jakub Lush: No Air by Jordin Sparks - Man, do I really have to listen to this? Lush has so jumped the shark in this competition, that he is becoming Sanjaya-like. If he makes it to next week, especially after this flaccid and conflicted performance, I will be unshocked and unfazed, but disappointed as hell. C-<br /><br />Lauren Elaine Bennes: Flat on the Floor by Carrie Fisher Underwood - Not quite Underwood, but dressed to play the part. This was good, but not great. I still think something is holding her back from just flat out killing a song (in a good way). I still think she has a slight confidence issue and is afraid to fail. Although Randy said she is "in it to win it" (ugh), I think she is in it to not lose it. By the way, can someone please throw that fiddler off a roof??? He was bogarting Lauren's camera time with his barbaric stage movements. Fiddler - D- Lauren - B+<br /><br />Scoddy the Body: Gone by Montgomery Gentry - How about we change that title to "Jakub is GONE by Montgomery Ward." Scoddy is all over the place on this performance, literally. He is using the stage as his personal rodeo grounds and is entertaining as hell for once. The vocal was good, but he got the crowd in a frenzy too. Again, Randy says Scoddy is "in it... blah blah blah... A-<br /><br />Haley Bravehart: Unreleased song by Lady GaGa - Haley has some balls to take on an unknown song by GaGa but I commend her for it. I disagree with the judges and thought her performance was both technically sound and spirited. Song choice was not the best, but at least she performed it well. B+<br /><br />DING DING Round TWO!<br /><br />Dangerous James Durbin: Without You by Harry Nilson - Interesting song choice, but James wants to prove that he is more than just a metalhead. This song obviously has a significant meaning and emotional connection to James, as he can barely get through his audition. On stage live, he shows his softer side and keeps it together until the end. Unlike the other balladeers on the show, James' performance feels real and genuine. Not my favorite from him, but I think it will help him win more votes. B<br /><br /><br />From Lusk til Dawn: Love Hurts by Nazareth - Since the Nazareth version is the only one I know, that will be my baseline of comparison. You are NO Nazareth, Lusk! Admittedly, this was much better than his first disaster, but was still hard to listen to, just because his voice is now the equivalent of poisonous, carniverous sand leeches. Please be the last we hear of Jakub. C+<br /><br />Laurena Bobbit Alaina: Unchained Melody by Righteous Bros: Lauren does a nice job here and has moments of greatness, but she is still letting the song own her and not the other way around. This could have been one of those special performances, but will just pass off as pretty good. Sweet prom dress, too! B+<br /><br />Boot Scottin Scoddy: You Were Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson/Elvis: Guess what folks, Scotty is IN IT TO... yadda yadda yadda. Overall, this was very good, almost great. Scotty is peaking and I am convinced of a James/Scotty finale more than ever. He is also learning not to hold the microphone like a flute, so I will give him a B+<div> </div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 125px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603244163417570050" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u-nPyAbbvIY/TcK44R5I-wI/AAAAAAAAAVo/vVZ_l4csYH4/s200/alg_haley-reinhart.jpg" /><br />Hail to Rinehart! House of the Rising Sun by the Animals: Thank you Sheryl Crow for some good advice, which is for Haley to begin the song acapella. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but she kicked the crap out of it and blew me away. Hands down the best performance of the night, and for once I agree with the judges on that. Unfortunately, Haley has been a bottom-dweller for too long and she may be in danger, along with Lush. A<br /><br />Interesting night, but not my favorite. Most performances were pretty good but only one that was stellar. The worst performance of the night was the frickin' fiddler trying to steal the spotlight from Lauren.<br /><br />Combined Rankings for THEN AND NOW:<br /><br />Scoddy the Botty<br />Haley (yep I said it)<br />James and Lauren TIED<br />Jakub Lush<br /><br />Jakub and Haley will once again be forced to stand together as the bottom two. I hope America gets it right because one of them belongs and other needs to get his ladder and get the hell off the stage.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603243958162737538" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zPFs4xpeRVc/TcK4sVQkyYI/AAAAAAAAAVg/phqYn0dHrAY/s200/420x316-alg_jacob_lusk.jpg" /><br /><br />Na na na na... Na na na na... HEY HEY... GOODBYE JAKUB!!!!<br /><br /><br />OUT</div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-84688393638740137332011-04-28T12:20:00.000-07:002011-04-28T12:34:43.127-07:00King Durbin's Crown<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OigfKHNBvXc/TbnBLZoXC-I/AAAAAAAAAVY/_B6Y6VbFq2I/s1600/james_durbin.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600720013214813154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 139px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OigfKHNBvXc/TbnBLZoXC-I/AAAAAAAAAVY/_B6Y6VbFq2I/s200/james_durbin.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H3-kzbXWlpM/TbnAWG7guUI/AAAAAAAAAU4/L5Y70nTMKgs/s1600/james_durbin.jpg"></a>Hey everyone! I’m back after being in hiatus for a week… thanks for being patient. I actually finally watched last week’s shows and was glad to see James knock the snot out of the competition and relieved that they finally put Joey out of his misery. I also thought Haley did Adele proud with her rendition of Rolling in the Deep.<br /><br />Having said that, and then seeing last night’s show, it is clearly Durbin’s competition to lose. He brings something new to the table each week and he executes it with surgeon-like precision. Unlike Jakub who just executes his songs via noose, firing squad, lethal injection, etc.<br /><br />So we have Carole King night, which I wasn’t all that thrilled about, especially since we’ve already had that theme a few seasons ago, and it was less than memorable. These producers have got to do a better job of coming up with interesting and fresh themes! If they do another “songbook by Dianne Warren,” the Kodak Center may mysteriously burn down to the ground.<br /><br />And then there were SIX. Once we get rid of Jakub, we will have a legitimate TOP 5, and I will look forward to the next few weeks.<br /><br />So we start the performances with the gratuitous Jimmy Bovine interventions, along with another guest. First up is none other than Flubberbuns Jakub Lush.<br /><br />Flubberbuns – Oh Not My Baby: what the hell is that apparatus he’s got on? He looks like Judge Schmails from Caddyshack about to embark on his yacht adventure. B-B-B-Buy Bushwood???? Sorry Jakub, you’ll get nothing and like it. Actually, the song and singing wasn’t as bad or predictable as in previous weeks, but it’s too little, too late. C+<br /><br />Laurena Bobbit Alaina – Where You Lead: Lauren has been fizzling lately, she seems to have lost some confidence along the way, or her fear of failure is holding her back. However, she was pretty strong last night. Not a big fan of the song, but she performed it adequately. B<br /><br />Scotty File<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gs2QiQw2bpI/TbnBCd-uGPI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/COdT_xPMA2M/s1600/scotty%2Bmic.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600719859763517682" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 119px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gs2QiQw2bpI/TbnBCd-uGPI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/COdT_xPMA2M/s200/scotty%2Bmic.jpg" border="0" /></a>t of McCreery – You’ve Got a Friend: Scotty is another one that has been mailing it in lately, but he picked his Alfred E Newman self back up by the bootstraps and put on a good showing. The beginning was especially impressive. Now if he could stop holding the mic like a flute, and continue to improve, he has a good shot. America definitely loves Filet of McCreery. A-<br /><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div>Durbin the Destroyer – Will You Love Me Tomorrow: No metal? No problem. If you can’t see that this kid has all the gifts, then you aint lookin. As JLOWW said last night, he has yet to have a bad night. And I know I am biased, but he’s been at the top of my rankings almost every week. This week is no exception. His acapella intro to this song was sonic smoothness, and when the music came in, he transitioned perfectly without missing a note or beat. He gets better every week. I definitely see the pattern he is following, ala David Cook and Adam Lambert. A<br /><br />Grizzled Abrams – Hy-Vee-Ho: Shop HyVee, shop HyVee… where there’s a grizzly snarl down every arl! You people not from Iowa won’t get that one. Grizzly going back to his jazz roots again, started off on fire, then he went all mad cow on everyone and was snarling, growling and running around the stage like an angry badger. Overall, it was decent, but I fear he may be in trouble again. B-<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZUWnJ_j_z94/TbnA4dJtUCI/AAAAAAAAAVI/PBG0OP1keZQ/s1600/haley-reinhart-photo.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600719687742476322" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 132px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZUWnJ_j_z94/TbnA4dJtUCI/AAAAAAAAAVI/PBG0OP1keZQ/s200/haley-reinhart-photo.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Haildamage Rinehart – Beautiful: Haley has made significant strides in getting to where she’s at. She had a slight hiccup 2 weeks ago, but she has been on a tear and picking the right songs. I think she made another good choice last night. Having said that, she will still be bottom 3 again, cuz her fan base keeps switching up on her. Now that she has found her niche, those people will have to come out in droves to keep her around. B+<br /><br />In order to fill up the 90 minutes, we had duets again. Quite frankly, I would rather have a 60 minute show and sh*tcan the duets now. They are cute on the Thursday show, but I want my 60 minute show back. The seem to keep putting the same ones together too… Well, except for Durbin and Fluffass. That was just bizarre.<br /><br />Rankings for KING night:<br /><br />Durbinator<br />Scotty<br />Haley<br />Lauren<br />Grizzly<br />Flubber<br /><br />I will say that Flubber, Grizzly and Haley will be bottom 3. I can’t see Lauren there, she has a bigger fan base than Haley. Let’s cut to the chase, it is TIME to get rid of Jakub and his stentorian wardrobe malfunctions. Please America, please!!!<br /><br /><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600719467653597554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 100px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6uL8AuAMPSk/TbnArpQbiXI/AAAAAAAAAVA/aWbodluQjQA/s200/flubber.jpg" border="0" /><br />OUT</div></div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-82004022988341654992011-04-13T23:04:00.001-07:002011-04-13T23:21:08.400-07:00Metal Idol Goes Wylde<div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bAk09Dc0F6o/TaaRaTAFI7I/AAAAAAAAAUw/IZnhOHV4Bec/s1600/Heavy_Metal1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 111px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595319468017656754" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bAk09Dc0F6o/TaaRaTAFI7I/AAAAAAAAAUw/IZnhOHV4Bec/s200/Heavy_Metal1.jpg" /></a>Tonight on Idol, we were treated to performances that showcased movie tunes. This could have gone sideways, which it did in a couple cases, or it could have kicked some serious @ss which it most definitely did at the end of the show.<br /><br />But enough about the singing competition... we must first celebrate Jenny down the street's designation as the most beautiful woman in the world. Hat's off to ya, JLOWW!!! Was she not eating that up or what? She was glowing like a neon Schlitz sign at the local pool parlor all night long.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 165px; height: 147px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595318756529317330" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0cQ06wzW200/TaaQw4gCpdI/AAAAAAAAAUo/3zi-U5U5I6U/s200/jenny%2Bjlo.jpg" /><br />We are also warned again that we must vote for our favorites, or dare suffer the fate of poor Pia Tobasco, who got yanked from the Idol stages long before her time was due. Why? Yes, I was pretty peeved that Pia was presented with pinkslip before the likes of Joey and Jakub, but after I pondered the reasons why America crapped on itself, I figured it out. She did not have a "built-in" audience. The people that vote for Joey and the rest of the younger singers are because Idol's voting system is royally effed up. The tweens and teens are out in full force sending unlimited text votes to the wrong people! Limit voting to 10 votes per voting source, whether it is phone, text or internet. The technology exists! Pia's target audience is what? Guys in bars (according to Lips Tyler) and Pia's family. Sorry, but the chuckleheads in the bars are not voting.<br /><br />Now, on to the show...<br /><br />First up is Paul McChiclets - Old Time Rock and Roll by Bob Seger: This was classic Paul. Looking like Bradley Cooper dressed like a magician at a Nursing Home. Same wispy thin voice and the teeth are whiter than liquid paper. The performance was just okay. I keep asking myself why he doesn’t sing any Paul Simon. B<br /><br />Lauren Elcamino - The Climb by Ciley Myrus: Lauren can just flat out sing anything. If she can make a Hannah Montana Banana song sound decent, then she's alright in my book. Sorry Miley, you just got pwned! A-<br /><br />Joey Tribiani Langone - End of the Road by Boomerang?: Perhaps it IS the end of the road for Joey. Time to go to "Central Perk" and have a skinny latte with Smelly Cat. Man, I did not see this coming... a ballad. Technically, again, it was good and I can't give him a FAIL, except for the fact that he fails to entertain me. I was not familiar with this song either. B-<br /><br />Scotty McCountry - The Wrong Song by George Strait: I was BIG TIME disappointed that Scotty chose this yawner over the song he was rehearsing. Why Scotty why? Et tu Scotte? I am still shaking my head because his rehearsal song blew me away and then they tricked us into thinking that was going to be the one! Ugh, this was a letdown for me. B<br /><br />Grizzly Abrams - Nature Boy by Nat King Coleslaw: This eclectic little ditty will either haunt him forever or sail him through to next week. Tough to call. I am betting that the teens will not be texting millions of votes for our favorite bear. I really admire the originality of this performance, but if the goal is to get votes, this might not be successful. A- (for having the berries to do his own thing)<br /><br />Hailey Miniskirt - Call Me by Blonsky: The song definitely fits the personality and stage persona to a T. Unfortunately, the singing did not maintain that level of swankiness. The first note was cantankerous, and the rest of the song was good karaoke. Her momentum just hit a wall. Maybe if she wears an even shorter skirt next week (if she makes it), she can keep stealing votes. C+<br /><br />Jakub Lush - Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkenstein: Jakub, you are a nice guy with a really big, fluffy @ss. And you have a great voice for large churches. However, your singing is making me want to fill my ears with Elmer’s Glue-All. Holy crap, I really want to like his singing, but I just cannot freaking do it. B-<br /><br />James Daredevil Durbin - Heavy Metal by Sammy Hagar: And featuring Zach Wylde on guitar. I am so proud of Ja<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QacwQYapZi4/TaaQUvaUD3I/AAAAAAAAAUY/jk4f18Tyyn8/s1600/James-Durbin-Saturday-Nights-Alright-For-Fighting-Elton-John-American-Idol-10-.png"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 142px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595318273053036402" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QacwQYapZi4/TaaQUvaUD3I/AAAAAAAAAUY/jk4f18Tyyn8/s200/James-Durbin-Saturday-Nights-Alright-For-Fighting-Elton-John-American-Idol-10-.png" /></a>mes for standing up for what he believes in and picking dignity and originality over what JIMMY and Capt Autotune wanted him to do. A+ for attitude. James knows who he is and what he can do and he proved it tonight by kicking the living crap out of the competition. Yah I know, I'm a metal guy myself, so I am biased, right? Perhaps, but I think the way the crowd reacted and how the voting goes will prove that this performance was flawless from inception to execution. A<br /><br />Now that is the way to end the evening. Once again, nothing was horrible, but song choice may come back on a couple of these yahoos.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q45nMuAQX7c/TaaQlT4mxLI/AAAAAAAAAUg/29o-I0VmstY/s1600/Zakk-Wylde-by-Ivan-Chopik-3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 159px; height: 200px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595318557721674930" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q45nMuAQX7c/TaaQlT4mxLI/AAAAAAAAAUg/29o-I0VmstY/s200/Zakk-Wylde-by-Ivan-Chopik-3.jpg" /></a><br />Rankings for Movie Night:<br /><br />James Danger Durbin<br />Lauren Alkaline<br />Grizzly Abrams<br />Paul McSqueaky<br />Scotty McCreaky<br />Joey McTribiani<br />Jakub McLush<br />Hailey McReinskirt<br /><br />My bottom 3, NOT based on my rankings, but based on how America votes (idiots), is Hailey, Joey and Grizzly Abrams. I'm afraid that Grizzly might be going home because the risk he took to do his own thing may have cost him. Which is unfortunate.<br /><br />Next week I am out of pocket, so an article may or may not be coming. I will be locked in a dungeon on the east coast for a week with no TV. I will try to "youtube" the show and hopefully squeak something out for y'all...<br /><br /><br />OUT</div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-68016687086884624322011-04-06T21:28:00.000-07:002011-04-06T23:13:53.149-07:00Rock and Dull Hall of Fame<div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G3OWZk1Lrok/TZ0_QeBFBII/AAAAAAAAAT4/rZgBTHpF3cY/s1600/rock%2Band%2Broll.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 127px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 166px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592695864432067714" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G3OWZk1Lrok/TZ0_QeBFBII/AAAAAAAAAT4/rZgBTHpF3cY/s200/rock%2Band%2Broll.jpg" /></a> <br /><div>Tonight's theme is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and "all the greats." Gwen Stefani shows up for about two seconds, then disappears into the night. Steven Tyler is wearing the technicolor yawn shirt and RJAX is sportin' the Hefty cinch sack jacket. And of course, the King of Autotune, Will I. Aint is here to offer advice. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Lots of rock influence so far! No, not really. I should have figured that the rockin would be at a miniscule level when the performers all came out in dresses and black ties. </div><br /><div>Naturally, the most rocking of the bunch is leading off tonight... </div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1mi03rAb6rc/TZ1C0Ba_4AI/AAAAAAAAAUI/1TSjfLH8l_w/s1600/420x316-alg_jacob_lusk.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 158px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 110px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592699773766328322" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1mi03rAb6rc/TZ1C0Ba_4AI/AAAAAAAAAUI/1TSjfLH8l_w/s200/420x316-alg_jacob_lusk.jpg" /></a> <br /><div>Jacob Lush - Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson: Sung 600 times before, here we go. Yah that's just rockin baby! Not! It's not Anti-rock night, Jake! Prancing around in his white marshmallow man suit. Just meh... B- F for sticking to the theme. </div><br /><div>Hailey Blackhart - Piece of my Heart by Janis Joplin: Thank you for sticking to the genre--this was good, the kind of song Hailey should be doing consistently. Don't look now, but she's making a run. A- </div><br /><div>Grizzly Abrams - Have you ever seen the Rain by CCR: Captain F Bomb bringin' the big old bass. Good song choice and performance. Well done, you little bearded freak. A- </div><br /><div>Lauren Alabama - Natural Woman by Arethra Franklin: Is that Kelly Clarkson? Not quite rock and roll, but she makes every song she sings better than the originals. Lauren will be around for a while. A-</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Dangerous James Durbin - While My Guitar Gently Weeps by George Harrison: Big risk by the only true rocker the show has... Not the usual Dis-durbin performance, but he brought a contemporary edge to it. Still got his high note in at the end and showed his softer side. A- </div><br /><div>Scotty McChucky - That's Alright Mama by Elvis: Can Scotty beam us up a rock song? The Denim Phenom was out of his element a bit, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Not great, but it was fun, like a Dr. Demento song or chucking rocks at trains. B </div><br /><div>Pia Tobasco - River Deep Mountain High by Tina Turner: Pia gotta get pissed off! She should be pissed at whoever picked out that sloppy jumpsuit she wore. Really? Her @ss was swimming in that cotton trainwreck. Still, a pretty powerful performance and out of her comfort zone. A</div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 137px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592694569596299522" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-laSF5noYWnc/TZ0-FGYLKQI/AAAAAAAAATw/rP6rZb5WZnM/s200/Pia%2Bnew.jpg" /></div><br /><div>Stephanie Joey Tribiani - When a Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge: Now that is a rockin' song! No, it wasn't. His high parts were whimpy, the rest of the song was a little over-indulgent. Simon would have ripped this. Sometimes a little Simon goes a long way. B- </div><br /><div>Paul McBleachedteeth - Fulsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash: Good song choice. Paul's feathery light scratchy voice fits this song just right. Nice job. A </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It's funny how no matter what the theme is, we keep hearing the same songs and performers going out of their way to "massage" the genre to their own strengths. The best singers are the ones who will stay true to the genre, put their own spin on it, and pick good songs. The actual singing tonight was collectively pretty good on a technical level. </div><br /><div>How do we evaluate performance when all the singers are proficient? Well eff it, I'll do it for ya! </div><br /><div>Rankings for Rock and Meh Night: Gosh darn it, I don't know who to put up here, so I'm going by originality and the ability to not annoy the crap out of me: </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Pia Tobasco </div><br /><div>Paul McCloseUp</div><br /><div>Turbo Durbin </div><br /><div>Grizzy Abrams </div><br /><div>Lauren Alabama </div><br /><div>Hailey Blackhart </div><br /><div>Scotty McCracken </div><br /><div>Joey Tribbles and Bits </div><br /><div>Jacob Lush </div><br /><div>Some will protest my putting Jacob at the bottom, and that is okay. I can't apologize for a song has been overdone by many, and it wasn't even close to rock and roll. It also wasn't that challenging for him. Same for Joey. Just a handful of lameness and "been <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xl5k8UR_bcc/TZ1DIaHD8TI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/ABjUOHpIUPw/s1600/simon.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 168px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592700123990978866" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xl5k8UR_bcc/TZ1DIaHD8TI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/ABjUOHpIUPw/s200/simon.jpg" /></a>there, done that." </div><br /><div>Bottom Three??? Tough call. I would like to see one trick pony Jacob and ballad-boy Joey there. The third spot may go to Denture-boy Paul again. I want to see Paul stay alive, so hopefully he'll get a comfy seat on the couch. </div><br /><div>Next week, we get a one second visit from Fergie and useless advice from Hanna Montana. I'm starting to miss Simon. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>OUT </div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-76208867914915306312011-03-30T21:14:00.000-07:002011-03-30T23:30:00.605-07:00The Resurrection of Grizzly AbramsTonight is Sir Elton John night. The man with the fabulous spectacles and flamboyant attire. And then we see Ryan Seakrust come out with hat hair. What, no faux hawk action tonight, Ryan? Man, I hope someone bangs out Crocodile Rock tonight, or will we be subjected to a plethora of ballads? Also good to see Grizzly Abrams back in the game. Holy crap, did he about soil his beard with sick sauce? I think the judges made the right choice in saving him--he just needs to quite scaring the sh*t out of America with the carniverous canine antics. <br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div></div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 151px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590092885263950258" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-szs7_d8C-V8/TZP_3I-YobI/AAAAAAAAATQ/MDy6QBFDkEg/s200/elton%2Bjohn.jpg" /></div><br /><div>In other news, we lose two people tomorrow night. I hope everyone got on their horns and voted, if this competition has any meaning for you. I didn't. HAHA--just kidding... </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So here we go.. nothing new here, but the contestants are doing some sort of modeling nonsense and doing the usual interviews with Jimmy Bovine (sans hood). Auditions sound good so far. First up is: </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Scotty McChuckwagon - Country Comfort: Not a whole lot of range tonight, playing it pretty safe. Sang it well, but it bored me to a trail of tears. B- </div><br /><div></div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vKkYPC5irtY/TZQBDV-Ec5I/AAAAAAAAATo/cucE3hDC5BQ/s1600/cool-runnings-800-75.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 146px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590094194422346642" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vKkYPC5irtY/TZQBDV-Ec5I/AAAAAAAAATo/cucE3hDC5BQ/s200/cool-runnings-800-75.jpg" /></a> <br /><div>Naima Addsomepepper - I'm Still Standing: the only thing she has in common with Sir Elton is the matching teeth. This Jamaican jabberwocky had me expecting John Candy to come out with the bobsled team. Fairly average, not much going on here, and kind of weird. C </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Paul McDentures - Rocket Man: Has the flower coat and pants on. Paul, you're scarin the customers again... Song was soft and fluffy like a flower-printed bounce sheet. Perhaps bring the skinny jeans again. Nothing special here, folks. C+ </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Pia Tobasco - Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me: Another ballad... Although Clay Aiken will never be topped on this song, she did a solid job. However, she showed some hot sauce by going against the judge's advise to not do a ballad this week. Pia's response, "Screw You, Chuckleheads!" It was good, but c'mon get out of your freakin comfort zone! B </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Steffanograph Joey Tribiani - Tiny Dancer: Bear Hair Boy bandish version, nothing to write home about. This was good karoake at best. Nice kiss-up to the judges at the end. Chandler gives it a C and Ross an A- cuz Ross is a weinie. B- </div><br /><div></div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2OXJVmc75ig/TZQAkHIh0cI/AAAAAAAAATY/j58hayq4NNY/s1600/lauren.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 140px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 104px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590093657863737794" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2OXJVmc75ig/TZQAkHIh0cI/AAAAAAAAATY/j58hayq4NNY/s200/lauren.jpg" /></a> <br /><div></div><br /><div>Lauren Alabama - Candle in the Wind: Another ballad, but she blew it out of the water. No wind could blow out her candle tonight. First song tonight that made me take notice, and apparently Lips's notice as well, but for other "various" reasons. A </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Delirious James Durbin - Saturday Night's Allright for Fighting: Great showmanship, loves the crowd and attention. Strong finish, the guy knows how to perform. What else can be said? Yah, the hair thing is somewhat corny, but the show NEEDS James. A </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Thia Tequila - Daniel: Pretty sleepy and loungey. Feel like I'm at the most depressing wedding reception ever. It wasn't horrible, it was just safe and had the scent of watered down vanilla pudding pops... C+ </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Grizzly Abrams - You're Song: We got ourselves a cleaned up Grizzly bear! I bet when he was done performing, he found a nice big mud pit to swim around in. In any event, both the look and the sound were right on, and he should be back with a vengeance. A- </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Jacob Lush - Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word: I'm sorry that I had to hear this song. Any resemblance of Elton John was wiped off the planet. No offense to Jacob personally, but I am just not a fan of his style. I was happiest when this song was over. Meh... B- </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Hailey Blackhart - Benny and the Jets: I actually liked this. Hailey has some spunk and we finally get to hear something not slower than frozen tar. She still likes puttin on the moves, but the song choice and performance were all in line. I would give her a straight A, but her "sssssss' sounds at the end of Jetssssss was a bit distracting. A- </div><iframe style="WIDTH: 447px; HEIGHT: 318px" title="YouTube video player" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fBbSvcJdGO4" frameborder="0" width="640"></iframe><br /><div></div><br /><div>Once again, not too many bowzer performances, with the exception of Naima's Jamaican mudslide. Where is Sanjaya Malodork and Pen Salesman and Goat Girl? Clearly, the judges did a good job of picking a top 12, but it makes my job of hurling insults much more difficult. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Rankings for Elton Night: </div><br /><div>Lauren Alabama </div><br /><div>James Durbin </div><br /><div>Hailey Blackhart </div><br /><div>Grizzly Abrams </div><br /><div>Pia Tuscodero </div><br /><div>Scotty McChuckwagon </div><br /><div>Jacob Lush </div><br /><div>Paul McPepsodent </div><br /><div>Thia Tequila </div><br /><div>Joey Tribiani </div><br /><div>Naima Addapaprika </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>As far as bottom three and voting, well America just proved that they are a bunch of chowderheads with their feeble voting results last week. I am going to guess that Naima and Joey are bottom-dwellers along with Thia. However, I wouldn't be shocked to see Pauly McTrident there either. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So long Naima and Joey! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Stay tuned for next week when we have Olivia Newton John night and Seacrust comes out with pink Xanadu suit. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>OUT</div></div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-60457947221485603662011-03-23T20:57:00.000-07:002011-03-23T22:33:09.115-07:00Mo, Larry and Curlytown<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qO34ZWiCWM0/TYrEBWScp6I/AAAAAAAAATA/34SclZu1-qA/s1600/three-stooges.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 98px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587493815148390306" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qO34ZWiCWM0/TYrEBWScp6I/AAAAAAAAATA/34SclZu1-qA/s200/three-stooges.jpg" /></a> Welcome to the Motormouth City. One of the theme nights that are consistently consistent each season has invaded our TVs once again. Don't get me wrong, I do respect Motown and its storied history, but my gosh, do we have to have it every stinkin' season? One of the thing that twists my niblets about Motown night is that it seems the same songs are done over and over again. Tonight was no exception.<br /><br />I see that JLOWW has lent Lips her faux-leopard print blouse. RAWR Steven...<br />So here we go. I do have a miniscule bit of a better attitude this time around, as the competition is better than years past. Especially when we start with...<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pxtn8pDXRqE/TYrDKepX6NI/AAAAAAAAASw/u2mpqidEZrA/s1600/american-idol-casey-abrams.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587492872499226834" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pxtn8pDXRqE/TYrDKepX6NI/AAAAAAAAASw/u2mpqidEZrA/s200/american-idol-casey-abrams.jpg" /></a><br />Grizzly Abrams - Heard it through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye/CCR and about 14 other contestants. Slick hair, but still wearing that bird habitat on his face. At least trim that thing down bro! So about the performance, hey did he just point to a guy and call him "honey?" It was good, but his pants were too loose. However, the performance was tight! A-<br /><br />I see that Aerosmith guitarist Brad Whitford in the house--or is that Doctor Johnny Fever from WKRP?<br /><br />Thia Tequila - Heatwave. Gee, we haven’t heard that one before (ugh) Olson Twins doing backup again... This tepid performance was pretty karaoke, nothing special. She seemed a little uncomfortable and seemed to forget some lyrics. The Jugheads, I mean judges were too easy on her I thought. B-<br /><br />J Peterman Lusk - You're all I Need by Marvin Gaye: I was hoping that it didn't have more runs than my granny's pantyhose. Not as bad as last week. Is that Danny Aiello playing bass? No, it's Harvey Keitel. This was an improvement from last week, but not as great as Randy said it was... And what's with the hugs??? B<br /><br />Alauren Alaina - Keep me Hangin on by the Supremes: Sweet beginning then tight transition to a more up-tempo finish. Great song choice and another fun performance from Aliena Laurena. A<br /><br />Joey Tribiani (Steffano) - Nice plate of leftovers there Tony Danza. Where the hell is Judith Light to kick some @ss? Hello by Lionking Richie? Another ballad, yawn...A little dramatic and sappy, but executed efficiently... Good comments from the judges finally--he's a good ballad singer, but he's going through the motions. Smelly Cat does NOT approve! B-<br /><br />Gordon Ramsey in the house--You DONKEY!! How cool would it be if he had been picked to be a judge, even for one night--he makes Simon look like Richard Simmons. New show concept: Hell's Auditions. <div><div><br /><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 144px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587492200249244898" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uA9RHSQgOG0/TYrCjWUfPOI/AAAAAAAAASo/alv-I0x47DQ/s200/GordonRamsey.jpg" /><br />Hailey Rainstorm - You Really got a hold on me by Smokey Robinson: Hailey once again relies heavily on her sultry moves and "camera-friendly" postures. Voice was a little all over the place, but at least it was interesting. Nice growl by Lips which gets an A. Hailey's growling gets a solid B<br /><br />Beam me up Scotty McCrazy - For Once in my Life: The kid can shoot some hoops, and as for his performance, he made it his own. Alfred E. Neuman knows how to use his voice for different genres. Nicely played at the end, even with the cheesy facial gestures. His stock continues to rise despite the goofiness... A-<br /><br />Pia Tuscadero - All in Love is Fair: Pia is awesome, but another ballad? It was very dramatic and she hit the high notes. Don't love the song, but she sang the crap out of it. As JLOWW said, we need to see her own the stage and step out of the concrete overshoes. Agree with RJAX--sing something up-tempo you silly lady! A-<br /><br />Denty McDonald - Tracks of my Tears by Smokey the Bear: Is he wearing skinny jeans again? Maybe a jacket with dragons should be next? Hey Paul, you're scarin' the customers! The guitar is bigger than he is, literally. Oh hello Olson Twins again. It was just alright Cougars unite--vote for Paul! B<br /><br />Noxzema Adedapo - Dancin in the Street by Van Halen (haha-I wish)... that is one hell of a pair of bellbottoms. Did she hide some little circus clowns in there? Didn't love the song. Disagree with the judges--they're being too nice. the dancing was something you might see on America's Got Talons. The voice was average at best. C+<br /><br />Dangerous James Durbin - Livin for the City by Stevie Wonder: Gettin the money spot tonight, but not really needing it as he once again outsmoked the competition. He made it original and rocked it out. Durbin has all the ingredients to take this competition to the end. Did you hear how loudly RJAX got booed when he started off with some criticism? A<br /><br />Alright, alright, who wins the evening? Although it was yet another Motown night, this one was better than the last few. No one really sucked, and there were a couple of inspired performances.<br /><br />Rankings for the Night:<br /><br />Turbo Durbin<br />Laurena Bobbit Alaina<br />Scotty E Neuman<br />Grizzly Abrams<br />Pia Tuscadero<br />Topol McDonald <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-V0CfUihxwbI/TYrDshE579I/AAAAAAAAAS4/zpcreclNTAI/s1600/naima-adedapo-266x400.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 133px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587493457267126226" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-V0CfUihxwbI/TYrDshE579I/AAAAAAAAAS4/zpcreclNTAI/s200/naima-adedapo-266x400.jpg" /></a><br />Jacob Lusky #7<br />Hailey Rhinestrong<br />Joey Tribiani<br />Thia Tequila<br />Noxzema Addpepper<br /><br />Well unfortunately for Naima and Hailey, I think they are in danger of being in the bottom, along with perhaps a surprise, like maybe Casey or Paul. Thia may be also in danger, as she has been slipping.<br /><br />So long Naima, it's been good to know ye!<br /><br />I swear if next week is disco week, I am going to hunt down Jimmy Bovine or whatever the hell his name is and tear his hood off his permanently attached sweatshirt.<br /><br />OUT </div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-89051094252919715742011-03-16T22:11:00.000-07:002011-03-17T12:14:20.602-07:00Insomnia IdolTop 12, here it is... Does anyone miss Omarosa? Ooops, wrong reality show. I meant Ashton Kutcher Jones. No, I'm afraid I didn't either. So here we are with our Top 12 and the theme of the night is "songs from your birth year." I will give the show props for at least making it open with many opportunities to sing something cool and have a wide variety of material to choose from.<br /><br />Well that is all good in theory, but how about when put pencil to paper? I must admit, I am a tad underwhelmed overall by the song choices, provided the vast choice of groovy sh*t.<br /><br />Speakng of groovy, who the hell dressed the judges tonight? Liberace? Lips looked like a technicolor yawn... JLOWW had the wind-tunnel tested hairdo, and some jungle cat is looking for it's skin. RaJack kept it real with his Sears Toughskins denim ensemble. <div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584912924779728178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 149px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2hJdl1vhUMs/TYGYtwb7zTI/AAAAAAAAASA/e6PIW3bkYAA/s200/liberace.jpg" border="0" /><br />Ok enough on the three stooges...<br /><br />How were the performances? Before I go into them individually, my overall impression of last night's performances had the consistency of mama bear's porridge. Kind of weak, kind of warm and a little soft.<br /><br />Let's gettit on!<br /><br />Naima Morimoto - "What's Love Got to Do with it" by Tina Turner: What's pitch got to do with it? Not much apparently, as Naima fumbled all over this song like Ben freaking Roethlisberger at a nightclub. She had more pitching problems than Charlie Sheen in MAJOR LEAGUE. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't horrible. That's all I gotta say about that! C+ </div><br /><div><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HRhVIR03cjs/TYGZ9aF4vZI/AAAAAAAAASQ/dscSWmVeBZM/s1600/demotivational_posters_men_in_skinny_jeans1_yep_more_demotivationals-s500x406-118256-580.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584914293171207570" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 162px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HRhVIR03cjs/TYGZ9aF4vZI/AAAAAAAAASQ/dscSWmVeBZM/s200/demotivational_posters_men_in_skinny_jeans1_yep_more_demotivationals-s500x406-118256-580.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Paul McFluoride - "That's why they Call it the Blues" by Elton John: Last year, secret squirrel sang this song and got kicked off the next night. Will Captain Creststrips make the cut this time? I think he will, even though this was far from stellar. Paul's chiclets and SNL's Sprockets dance moves will keep him in... B- And lose the skinny jeans bro!<br /><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Thia Tequila - "Colors of the Wind” from Pocahontas: Smooth, silky and very safe. Not a lot to crow about here, just another underwhelming ho-hum performance. Will she ever recapture her glory from two weeks ago? Another victim of flimsy song choices may be in her future. It was just vanilla swirled with more vanilla. B<br /><br />Dangerous James Durbin - "I'll Be There For You” by Bon Jovi: Finally, a song choice that didn't suck the life out of the show. He's consistently picking good songs and performing well--this will bode well for him as the show goes on. It wasn't awesome, but it threw some life into the snoozefest the show was becoming. His stage presence and camaraderie with the judges is well played. A- By the way, his birthday is Jan 6, which is also mine! YOU GO MAN!!!!<br /><br />Hailey RyneSandberg - "I'm Your Baby Tonight” by Whitney Houston: Hey Hailey, Catwoman is looking for her pants! Enough about fashion... Hailey throws us a flat performance that looked better than it sounded. Hailey knows her strengths, which is her looks, but her singing is not top 5 material. C<br /><br />Steffano Joey Tribiani - "If You Don't Know Me By Now" by Simply Weak: Hello? David Bearhair Archuleta 2.0 is at it again. Although it was a solid performance,it just fortifies the fact that all he can do is weak sauce ballads. His sweet threads with those classy British Knights hightops really set the tone. A begrudging B<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-81PmoNA11LI/TYGZAM5uKyI/AAAAAAAAASI/kgVDl3NzxO0/s1600/pia.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584913241658501922" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 140px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 104px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-81PmoNA11LI/TYGZAM5uKyI/AAAAAAAAASI/kgVDl3NzxO0/s200/pia.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Pia Tuscadero - “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” by Whitney Houston: One of my early favorites didn't disappoint, even though doing a Whitney song usueally spells merciless insults by RJack. Not this time--she pulled it off and did great. However, her competition up this poiint has been flaccid for the most part. A<br /><br />Beam me up Scotty McDoody - Some Country song by Travis Tritt: I really don't like country (except the man in black), and this was no exception... Didn't like this at all, but I gotta be objective and give him a good score! OOOOOOH I hate that! I like Scotty and his Bilbo Baggins haircut, His singing was solid, so... B+<br /><br />Chachi Rodriguez - “Love Will Lead You Back” by Taylor Dane Cook: Once of my early faves, she is dropping like Mel Gibson's popularity ratings. So disappointing as she clearly is lacking in power, passion and pizzazz. And the adding Spanish lyrics is old now... JLOWW aint that impressed anymore, so ya better come up with something fresh Ms. Knucklechuckle! B-<br /><br />Casey Chewbacca Abrams - "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana: First of all, ballsy song choice, I like it already. I gotta give this guy credit for having the jewels to pick a Nirvana song! But then he sang it, and his virility was neutered. In the end, the song smelled like teen sweatsocks. B-<br /><br />Lorne Green Alaina - “I'm The Only One” by Melissa Etheridge: Welcome back Lauren--very nicely done on this tune, and it wasn't country per se. One of the more memorable, recognizable and consistent performances of the night. A-<br /><br />Jacob Musk - “Alone” by Heart: Odd song choice, but then again, Jakey is a little on the prodigious side. His voice is like 6000 pounds of jello all-a-quiver until he hits those runs, which he has been perpetually overusing. He did subdue them to some degree until the end, but alas, they were there again. Overall, better than last week. B<br /><br />I gotta tell ya... overall, last night was pretty blase. No real standout performances, but no real bowzers either. However, the girls take 2 of the top 3 for the night---I knew they had it in 'em!<br /><br />Ratings for the night:<br /><br />Pia Tuscodero<br />Lauren Alaina<br />James Durbin<br />Scotty McCracken<br />Casey Abrahamson<br />Thia Tequila<br />Paul McDental<br />Steffano Tribiani<br />Jacob Lush<br />Karen Rodregisphilbin<br />Hailey Rheinoceros<br />Naima Origato </div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584914655595130050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 140px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 104px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7g_OFT2DFXY/TYGaSgOe7MI/AAAAAAAAASY/mX2H2tys-Ec/s200/naima.jpg" border="0" /><br />Threats to head home tonight are Naima, Hailey and Karen. Too tough to call here folks, but I would venture to guess Hailey and Karen--Hailey has no identity and Karen has been underwhelming and disappointing. What a shame for both! Paul can't rely on his teeth forever, so he better start picking better songs or he and his skinny jeans will be next on the chopping block!<br /><br /><br />OUTAngry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276064857487365440.post-16511663315008751342011-03-10T00:08:00.000-08:002011-03-10T00:28:55.776-08:00Idol WorshipIt's an Idol Baker's Dozen as our Top 13 get ready to show their stuff. The theme tonight is "songs from your Personal Idols," which casts a much wider net around song choices than let's say, ummm... Disco Night (ugh!). We also had the privilige of seeing the awesome producers from the record company (ad nauseum), I mean advise our young hopefuls.<br /><div><div><br /><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 218px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 149px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582361476788397234" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N3p2e6w0p8I/TXiIL7_MJLI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/EX7srr750PU/s320/american-idol.jpg" /><br />Lips, JLOWW and Randy were in magnanimous spirits last night as it was like pulling Paul McDonald's teeth to elicit a negative quip from them. Obviously, the top-to-bottom talent on the show is at an all-time high and that makes it much more difficult to cast stones or in some cases, roses.<br /><br />So here we go. Tonight starts off with a bang as one of "the anointed ones" kicks it off...<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_IG9zKIyFaE/TXiLALqEvzI/AAAAAAAAARg/bdcvXgIWhAQ/s1600/lauren-alaina.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 116px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 152px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582364573371252530" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_IG9zKIyFaE/TXiLALqEvzI/AAAAAAAAARg/bdcvXgIWhAQ/s200/lauren-alaina.jpg" /></a><br />Laurena Alaina Twaina: Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain - Good way to start off the show, something upbeat and non-ballady. Which is what she said, thank you very much. Even with the addition of the Olson twins doing backups, the judges were a little lukewarm on it because they want people to feel sorry for her, which means more votes. Nice strategy and sweet jeggings! Solid B<br /><br />Casey Grizzly Abrams: With a Little Help from my Friends by Joe Cocker - Using the steps as a prop this early in the competition means Casey likes to sit on steps. But seriously, good song for the scraggly bearded one. It reminded me a little of Graylor Hicks, as he was known for doing upbeat, well-known songs while using lots of body language and unique facial tics. B+<br /><br />Ashthon Kutcher Jones: When You Tell Me That You Love Me by Diana Ross - Diva Knievel started out a little shaky at the beginning and never really got it going on this unknown Ross tune. HEY lady! You squeaked by in the Wildcard round--how about picking a winning song and NOT singing like you're in a high school talent show? C<br /><br />Paul Dentyne McDonald: Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams - Who the he11 is Ryan Adams? Does he also dress like a carhop? First I thought he was going to sing "Summer of 69" by BRYAN Adams, which I would loathe since it is done incessantly every season. But after hearing this quivering pile of WTF, I think I would actually prefer the ubiquitous "Summer" song. C-<br /><br />Mama Pia Toscano: All By Myself by Celine Dion - Singer or Supermodel? Total package here folks. Not a huge Celine fan, but she sang it adequately. Not great, but pretty good. Criminy, it doesn't matter--she could sing with ping pong balls in her mouth and people will put her through. You go girl! B+<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ezW7LvH27QI/TXiIkf1soLI/AAAAAAAAARA/VG4dhySfZZ0/s1600/James-Durbin-top-24.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 220px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 167px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582361898729119922" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ezW7LvH27QI/TXiIkf1soLI/AAAAAAAAARA/VG4dhySfZZ0/s200/James-Durbin-top-24.jpg" /></a><br />Turbo James Durbin: Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney - The Turbo-charged Durbinator strikes again. His older self would have tortured this song with that whacked out range of his. However, he has shown considerable growth and restraint when needed. If he keeps this up, he will be in the finals. He was amazing, and no maybes about it. A<br /></p><br /><br /><div>Hailstorm Rheinhardt: Blue by LeAnn Rimes - RICOLLA!!!!!!!!!!! I hear mountaineers in search of cough drops and the yodeling girl on The Price is Right. I will give Hailey props for having the balls to actually yodel on live tv. BRAVE or STUPID? I guess it depends on your personal preference. I am so confused as to whether this was any good or not... So I am giving it a C+<br /><br />Jacob Lusk of the Irish - I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly - This song is sung every season, sometimes multiple times per season. I believe I can puke, if I ever hear it again. To hear Jacob over-sing the living bejeezus out of it made me want to beat the living lusk out of him and his pen salesmen suit. Unlike Durbin who can practice restraint, Lusk pushed his singing right off the ledge. D<br /><br />Thia Tequila: Smile by Michael Jackson - It will be hard to top what Thia did last week, and sure enough, this week was a letdown. It wasn't bad per se, but she raised the bar to the statosphere last week. This week, was an inevitable letdown. That said, it was still a decent performance. B-</div><div><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IKmfya1MO2w/TXiJWX490nI/AAAAAAAAARI/mHr9I4L754U/s1600/joey-tribbiani-picture.jpg"></a><br />Joey Steffano Langone: Lately by Stevie Wonder - Meh. Chandler and Ross thought i<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A7yBvR2j-iY/TXiJ-P8w99I/AAAAAAAAARY/OE5XJixvZro/s1600/matt-le-blanc.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 114px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 109px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582363440652023762" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A7yBvR2j-iY/TXiJ-P8w99I/AAAAAAAAARY/OE5XJixvZro/s200/matt-le-blanc.jpg" /></a>t lacked chut<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RyYqA2Zalus/TXiJjEoSWtI/AAAAAAAAARQ/VlY-yX96elc/s1600/StefanoLangone.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 164px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 92px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582362973756873426" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RyYqA2Zalus/TXiJjEoSWtI/AAAAAAAAARQ/VlY-yX96elc/s200/StefanoLangone.jpg" /></a>zpah. I concur with them. As the song was boring me to sleep, I could't help but notice the clothing selections. The Sicilian Eskimo Biker look must be an LA thing. I think he put his wardrobe together via slot machine. FAIL. D+<br /><br /></div><div>Separated at birth?</div><br /><br /><div>Karen Chi-chi Rodriguez: I Could Fall in Love by Selena - Holy crap, it's time for a girl to blow us away! Nope, nothing to see here folks. Maybe the most disappointing performance of the night, as I expect much more from K-Rod. If she sticks around, she's gotta bring her A game and great song choices. She still looks good though! D+<br /><br />Scotty McRichieCunningham: The River by Garth Brooks - If there is one person who will make an album IMMEDIATELY after this show, it's Beam me up Scotty. Some Country record label is chompin' at the bit for Scotty to get mule-kicked to the curb. He sung this song so effortlessly, but it will be interesting if they ever make him sing out of his country-comfort zone. A<br /><br />Naima Odetopepper: Umbrella by Rihanna - Crazy girl, all over da place! Unforunately, as lively and enraptured as her movements are, the voice does not match up. It's not horrible, but it definitely is underwhelming. Do you all overstand this? Naima is a like a box of chocolates. Is she Godiva or that disgusting Russell Stover box of penguin sh*t? Time will tell... B-<br /><br />Grading out the performers was a bit tougher this week, as there were 13 performers and none of them really stunk. Some of the song choices (as usual) begged for lobotomization, but calling out clear cut winners and losers not that easy.<br /><br />Rankings for "Idol Worship" week:<br /><br />James<br />Scotty<br />Pia<br />Casey<br />Laurena<br />Thia<br />Haley<br />Naima <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lpUfIYp_g9s/TXiHi9hXmDI/AAAAAAAAAQw/9j27Ujk5TBw/s1600/7192-Ashthon-Jones-023.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 175px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 238px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582360772825552946" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lpUfIYp_g9s/TXiHi9hXmDI/AAAAAAAAAQw/9j27Ujk5TBw/s320/7192-Ashthon-Jones-023.jpg" /></a><br />Paul<br />Ashthon<br />Karen<br />"Joey"<br />Jacob<br /><br />At this early stage, it is hard to determine who is going home, but I'm pretty confident that Joey will be in the bottom three. Although Jacob drove me nuts and is sitting at the bottom, he will NO WAY in he11 get voted out now.<br /><br />So... Joey, Karen and Ashthon in the bottom. Ashthon going home! Diva Con Dios baby!<br /><br />Ladies better step up next week--the guys kicked their @sses this week, at least in the top 5.<br /><br /><br />OUT </div></div></div>Angry Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04335377887939522416noreply@blogger.com2