Last night was the dreaded Mariah Carey night, well it was dreaded for me, anyway. As most of you know, I am not interested, nor do I listen to that kind of music. I will acknowledge Mariah's "talents" however. She stacks up with the best of them! ; )
In any event, I was initially thinking if I had to take a day off Idol watching, this would
probably be the one. However, I swam through the sludgy muck of sad sappy sodapop silliness, and here I am.
For starters, I am very annoyed with Ryan SeaKrust and his pompous introduction that..... THIS....................is American Idol!!!! It's almost like he is saying, "look at me and my nancy-boy faux-hawk (that pointy hair on top of his dome), I am the Idol! ME, ME, ME!" Shut the F up you little toolbox. In addition, Paula looked stoned again, and she had the bedhead going full bore. Corey Clark?
So on to the performers and their dates with Drew, I mean, Mariah Carey.
1. David Bear-Hair Archuletta: Yawn... Imagine, if you will, bear-hair doing a ballad! Yah, that is what I thought. He's a one trick pony that just happens to do that trick well. What I realized, unfortunately, is that ridiculous powerpuff ballad that the last two finalists get to sing in the Finals, will fall right into his one-trick pony strength (which is a d@mn shame.)...
2. Scary Smithson: She looked better than ever! However, she sounded just okay to me. No doubt talented as anyone, but her song choices, lack of confidence and that goofy strained look she gives when belting wont' help her. In trouble again.
3. Slyesha Murkydo: Old "Doll-head" sung "Vanishing". I wish that is what she would have done, rather than sing this song. So far, I am hating the night and can't wait til "He11's Kitchen" comes on. It was another slow and unoriginal copy, like the last two weeks.
4. Bumbling Brooke Whitehead: Her level of annoying chatterbox keeps elevating, and as I was once a big fan, I am no longer. Not only does she gab like a slot machine, but the cracks are showing in her abilities. She was clearly shaking at the end of her song, and I think she has reached her peak. In addition, I highly doubt she can belt any big notes. In trouble...
5. Krispy General Lee Cook: What a pathetic attempt to countrify and westernize a Mariah Freaking Carey song. As soon as I heard that whiny steel guitar, I knew what she was up to! YER not foolin anyone Krispy Kreem! Krappy and sappy.
6. The talented David... Mr. Cook that is... Welcome back - After his off-week last week, he is back to being brilliant. He makes songs I hate sound listenable. Thank you mister Cook, you beer-bellied belter!
7. The Stoner, Jason Castrol: I am still a fan and although the judges liked, I didn't like it. He is very cool and talented, but like Brook, he cannot belt out any big notes. I am still rooting him on though!!! Go STONER!!!
My first thought after last night's show was, "where the f*** was Mikey Johns???" Thanks a lot America, you dolts! Instead we have the Bumbler, the Doll-Hair and the Krappy Cook.
Fortunately, those three will be YOUR bottom three this week and rightfully so. In fact, they should just have a bottom 6 and call David Cook safe because I really didn't like any of the other six performances. Ooohh, I am such a funhater, aint I?
Rankings for Mariah Scary Night:
1. D C (Da Cook)
2. Stoner Castro
3. Bear Hair
4. Scary Smithson
5. Sloesha
6. Krappy Lee
7. Babbling Brooke
I could care less which of the bottom 3, or even bottom 5 go home after last night. It will most likely be.... BROOKE!!! (they might have to add 30 minutes to the show for the bawling and bumbling about that will take place during her "goodbyes."
OUT
In any event, I was initially thinking if I had to take a day off Idol watching, this would
probably be the one. However, I swam through the sludgy muck of sad sappy sodapop silliness, and here I am.For starters, I am very annoyed with Ryan SeaKrust and his pompous introduction that..... THIS....................is American Idol!!!! It's almost like he is saying, "look at me and my nancy-boy faux-hawk (that pointy hair on top of his dome), I am the Idol! ME, ME, ME!" Shut the F up you little toolbox. In addition, Paula looked stoned again, and she had the bedhead going full bore. Corey Clark?
So on to the performers and their dates with Drew, I mean, Mariah Carey.
1. David Bear-Hair Archuletta: Yawn... Imagine, if you will, bear-hair doing a ballad! Yah, that is what I thought. He's a one trick pony that just happens to do that trick well. What I realized, unfortunately, is that ridiculous powerpuff ballad that the last two finalists get to sing in the Finals, will fall right into his one-trick pony strength (which is a d@mn shame.)...
2. Scary Smithson: She looked better than ever! However, she sounded just okay to me. No doubt talented as anyone, but her song choices, lack of confidence and that goofy strained look she gives when belting wont' help her. In trouble again.
3. Slyesha Murkydo: Old "Doll-head" sung "Vanishing". I wish that is what she would have done, rather than sing this song. So far, I am hating the night and can't wait til "He11's Kitchen" comes on. It was another slow and unoriginal copy, like the last two weeks.
4. Bumbling Brooke Whitehead: Her level of annoying chatterbox keeps elevating, and as I was once a big fan, I am no longer. Not only does she gab like a slot machine, but the cracks are showing in her abilities. She was clearly shaking at the end of her song, and I think she has reached her peak. In addition, I highly doubt she can belt any big notes. In trouble...
5. Krispy General Lee Cook: What a pathetic attempt to countrify and westernize a Mariah Freaking Carey song. As soon as I heard that whiny steel guitar, I knew what she was up to! YER not foolin anyone Krispy Kreem! Krappy and sappy.
6. The talented David... Mr. Cook that is... Welcome back - After his off-week last week, he is back to being brilliant. He makes songs I hate sound listenable. Thank you mister Cook, you beer-bellied belter!
7. The Stoner, Jason Castrol: I am still a fan and although the judges liked, I didn't like it. He is very cool and talented, but like Brook, he cannot belt out any big notes. I am still rooting him on though!!! Go STONER!!!
My first thought after last night's show was, "where the f*** was Mikey Johns???" Thanks a lot America, you dolts! Instead we have the Bumbler, the Doll-Hair and the Krappy Cook.
Fortunately, those three will be YOUR bottom three this week and rightfully so. In fact, they should just have a bottom 6 and call David Cook safe because I really didn't like any of the other six performances. Ooohh, I am such a funhater, aint I?
Rankings for Mariah Scary Night:
1. D C (Da Cook)
2. Stoner Castro
3. Bear Hair
4. Scary Smithson
5. Sloesha
6. Krappy Lee
7. Babbling Brooke
I could care less which of the bottom 3, or even bottom 5 go home after last night. It will most likely be.... BROOKE!!! (they might have to add 30 minutes to the show for the bawling and bumbling about that will take place during her "goodbyes."
OUT
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