Seasons to Savor

Tis the season of winter and all through the house, not a creature was stirring… ok, you get the picture. It’s the nuttier than a fruitcake holiday time of year, and are you ready for it? I believe the madness starts right around the Thanksgiving holiday and continues until New Year’s Day. However, it seems to be creeping closer and closer to Halloween, and then you have Christmas marketing for three months straight. If I hear that Menard’s jingle with the unintelligible words again, I will shop at HO HO Home Depot from that point going forward.

In addition to the shopping sprees and consumer conundrums, there is the special holiday MENU to think about. It seems that the holidays are the perfect alibi for stuffin’ ourselves like the Thanksgiving turkey we just mowed down. In addition to the traditional holiday fare, there are some unique delicacies to sample as well as seasonal libations.

I have compiled a list of seasonal snackers and tantalizing treats that will make your mouths water, or make you run far, far away.

In addition to the good standbys; turkey, ham, Christmas cookies, fudge and pumpkin pie, here are the other items you see (or don’t see) around the holidays:

Sugar plums – I have no idea what these are and I have never seen one-I think they are fictional.
Chestnuts – Sounds more like a medical condition.
Fruitcake – It’s neither a fruit nor a cake. Whatever it is, it is not good.
Goose – Do people really eat these?
Mincemeat Pie – The “headcheese” of desserts. No thanks, I’ll pass
Meringue Cookies – If you like the taste and texture of chalk, then these are for you!
Plum Pudding – Another make-believe dessert, or at least on the endangered species list.
Summer Sausage and Cheese – Why do people only eat summer sausage in the winter?
Roast Beast – It’s what the Hoos from Hooville eat, and I want to know where I can get one.
Eggnog – Nothing like fat in a glass! One cup = ten zillion calories
Candy Canes – Has anyone ever taken them out of the plastic wrap and not broken it?
Wintergreen - Ok, it's a flavor, but why anyone likes it is beyond me. Nothing like the deliciousness of Pepto Bismol and Skoal chewing tobacco--mmmm, tasty.

So another delectable season of strangeness lies ahead. Go forth and venture into new culinary territory! But do so at your own risk and buyer beware! I will stay true to my tradition of ordering Chinese food and pizza--sausage and chestnuts, please!

Happy Holidays!