Mercury Rising

First of all, I apologize for not having an Idol update last week, as I was in Maryland on business... In fact, I didn't even get to watch it. I was very DISAPPOINTED to hear, however, that Colton was given his walking papers. Once again, America is a bunch of doofuses, and Idol should be ashamed of themselves for allowing the voting structure to wallow in the muck of absurdity.

Back to last night's show... GREAT theme night with Queen, and seeing Brian May and Roger Taylor still alive and kicking is pretty awesome. The medley at the front end of the show was miles better than the usual tripe they do on Thursday nights. Watching some of the footage of classic Queen with Flamboyant Freddy Mercury was priceless. The other part of the night was Performer Choice, but I was very perplexed by some of the song selections.

So how do the performers fare--did they rock us, or did they cave in to being under pressure?

Jessica Saycheese - Bohemian Rhapsody: Sorry little Jessi... not your forte. Although she sung the slow parts good, she blew chunks on the rock sections. This song should have went to someone else. C+ Jessi's 2nd song was "Luke, I am Your Father" by Darth Vader. Actually, this was quite impressive. She made up for her earlier gaffe with this number. Although not a fan, I gotta give her props for hitting this out of the park. A

SkyMall Lane - The Show Must Go On: Skyler is becoming a star right before our eyes. Her stage presence is better than anyone else on the show and she can belt. I hate to say it, I am now a fan. HAHA!!! Mark, what the hell are you smoking? Her and Josh are now in the driver's seat for the finale. She is consistent and has not had a bad performance yet. A- SkyMall's 2nd song was "Tatoos on this Town"... Ok, never heard of it, but sounds like twangy country again. It just doesn’t matter. This "thick boned" girl (as Hollie called her) is dialed in. I think she would have given Scotty a run for his money last season, moreso than Lauren Alaina... B+

Joshy Leadfoot - Crazy Little Thing Called Love: Cmon judges, REALLY??? A standing O?? I beg to differentiate--it was good, but not THAT good. I will say that Josh has stepped up his game and is clearly a frontrunner now, but the judges are being a little too charitable on the schmoozing and pimping. Enough already... Still, that was pretty damn good... A Josh's 2nd song was "Ready for Love"... Not familiar with this song at all, but it was pretty intense and grabbed your attention like a python grabs a rat. However, once again, it did NOT deserve a standing O! Are the judges being paid off by the Reverend Leadfoot??? Lordy Lordy!! A-

Elysium Toastwand - I Want it All: This was good, but somewhat underwhelming... She should have been the one to sing Bohemian Rhapsody, not Jessica. It had some good rocker qualities, but just felt a little undercooked. B+ Elise's 2nd song was "Bold As Love"... Have to agree with the judges here--she could have picked ANY song she wanted and she went obscure with this--what the hell are you thinking, Elise? Elise may be going home due to song choice, not lack of talent. This happens all the time, and yet, people don't learn. B-

Philip Flipodelphia - Fat Bottomed Girls: That's what makes Philip go round! This is the Grayman we wanted to see the last couple weeks! Nicely played. How funny were the snippets of his roommates making fun of his stage mannerisms and creepy psycho possessed faces he makes when he sings? It's true! Great song Phlippy! A Phil's 2nd song was The Stone. Ok, are he and Elise studying how not to win Idol together? Another obscure and very "arthouse" song for Phil... As opposed to "wheelhouse", right DAWG?? Love the guy, but he and Elise are no longer front-runners. Personally, I kinda dug the vibe of the song, but America won't... B-

Hally Cabinslaw - Save Me: Hollie is coming on strong as of late, and has screwed up all the voting and plans for everyone. She is the proverbial wrench in the gears! The last couple weeks have seen her go from zero to hero. It used to be a given that little Swiss Miss was a shoo-in to go home... Not anymore. B+ Hollie's 2nd song was
a Miley Cyrus song (ugh, did I really type that name?)... However, Hollie demonstrated how a real singer would sing it, which is why she got so many glowing reviews of her performance. She really did blow the doors off this and I thought I was going to absolutely hate it. She changed my opinion--what can I say? A

Rankings for the night:

Josh
Skylar
Hollie
Phillip
Jessica
Elise

So who is going be singing "we are the champions" and who is going to "bite the dust"?

Bottom 3 could be anyone... I don't trust America to vote with their heads. I fear that Elise is probably going home. She did not win any new fans and for fans like me, she didn't inspire us to vote. This is unfortunate. Jessica would have been much higher, but her Queen rendition was sung more like a Jester.

Also, I just want to say, I am not a proponent of these two hour shows. My wheelhouse is stuck on Idle.


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80's - Stuck in Idol

Last night, it was 80's Night on Idol, so naturally being an 80's kid, I was excited by the prospect of actually having a good show, maybe even better than last week's. Well I have been wrong on a few occasions, and my expectations got their @ss kicked last night.

There is a lot of great material in the 80's from a musical standpoint, and I felt that a ton of it got left on the table. I'm sure part of the reason is the age of the performers--they don't really know the 80's that well, and therefore can't connect to the music. This was clearly the case, as this show was a buzzkill and slapped the fun right off my face...

Once again, we have a two hour show for eight performers, which means duets. The duets were probably the highlight of the evening. The show begins with a dramatic scene of Heehaw getting the heave-ho, complete with musical dirge reeking of melodrama.

Then the judges come out, and I must say Randy is dressed even more clown-like than normal.

Gwen Stefani and her bass player were the chaperones for the 80's, which is weird because I don't think she or her band were around in the 80's... Oh well, were any of us around (mentally) in the 80's?

Let's get to it--leading us off last night was...

Deanjaya Packnship - I like it: I didn't really like it. However, it was definitely his best performance of the season. I didn't hate it as much as usual, because he used his regular voice and not just the falsetto that has been defiling our ears. We will probably have to endure his ramen noodle covered head for a while longer... B-

Elise Testarossa - I Want to Know What Love is: Ohhh Elise, why the hell didn't you sing Hallelujah??? You would have brought the house down! Instead, you give us a sloppy ballad in which you got pitch-slapped, and you didn’t look comfortable at all. I don’t know whether to blame the Mentors or Elise herself, but this was a stale performance. After the last two weeks of kicking butt, she will be at risk of going home again. C

Duet #1 (Colton and Skylar - Islands in the Stream): At first, I was like, what the he11 is this? Colton singing country? However, it was done very well, and he pulled it off. Skylar was right in her element. A

Philly Phillipian - That's All: That is what I was asking myself after that performance... What is going on here? The best of the competition, IMHO, Elise and Phil are actually looking very uncomfortable and not sure of themselves for the first time. I think he was nervous that his bro-in-law was up there. AND, speaking of that, the bro played some real questionable off-notes towards the end of the song... I was not a fan of this one, but he will redeem himself. B-

Duet #2 (Hollie and Deanjaya - I'm So Excited): Meh... this wasn't anywhere near as good as the first duet, and was high school play-ish... Very vanilla, very gray, like Phil's shirts. C Actually, Phil's shirts have more personality than these two.

Jorsh LaBeck - If You Don't Know Me By Now: Another powerful vocal, another weird sportcoat with strange patterns on it. Where does he get this stuff? In any event, Josh did his thing, which is to slightly lose control and go into a mini-conniption. This behavior seems to be rewarded by the judges. However, if he does it next week, what will they then say? Dawg, you gonna havta stop using the over-da-top singing and just be real, dawg. B

Yessica Manwich - How Will I Know?: So we now know that Jessica's alter ego is "Baby Cheese"... Not sure what that means, but okay... The Diva in Waiting picks another Diva song, this one by Whitney Houston. She is very good, but not great on this rendition. It was just aight. However, the Dawg says that Jessica "gotta have it!" And I thought that Cold Stone doesn't sound very good right now. B+

Duet #3 (Elise and Phil - Stop Dragging my Heart Around): What I thought were the two contenders to win the show are singing together. I think both Philly and Elise showed considerable improvement here from their solo performances. A-

Holy Cabinfever - What a Feeling: What a feeling it is to be at the bottom of the votes, eh? That is where Hollie will be tonight with that really awful performance. Poor, poor little Swiss Miss girl... She has no idea who she is or what to do with her voice. She is such a nice gal, but her nerves, over-thinking and lack of confidence has taken its toll. It was the first time the mentors gave good advice, and she didn't take to it. D+

Duet #4 (Josh and Jessica - I Knew You Were Waiting for Me): Actually, this was very good, and I would put it up there with Duet #1 as overall best of the night. I didn't know Jessica could growl like that and just go off, like Josh usually does. She matched him growl for growl... it was like they were in a duel, rather than duet, but it was really fun to witness. A

Cotton Blitzen - Time After Time: I was impressed that Colton admitted to ripping off the band that re-made this Cyndi Lauper tune. We all knew it would be some goth/rock version, but you still have to perform and have conviction. In both cases, Colton succeeded. I really liked the version he did, even though he still wears skinny jeans. And yah the drummer was freaking awesome! Band = A+ Colton = B+

Skylark Lemon - Wind Beneath My Wings: She was given the money slot and delivered the goods last night. As much as I am Phil and Elise fans, Skylar blew away the competition. This is no huge feat mind you, since the night was disappointing overall, but by the end of that song, she was owning that stage. I honestly didn't know this gun-toting cowgirl had those big notes in her. And, they actually gave her something flattering for her to wear for once. No more bottom 3 for Skylar (until next week)... A

What to do, what to do... hard to rank last night, as the worst went to first, and the favorites floundered. However, one can see that I am hardly biased based on the grades. I'm objective, dammit! Haha... :)

Rankings

Skylar
Colton
Jessica
Josh
Phil
Deanjaya
Elise
Hollie

Disappointing night for me as my two heroes took a slight tumble. Phil will survive this, but Elise has a razor thin margin of error to deal with. She will be in danger of bottom 3 again. Deanjaya had a great night (for him), but it was just ok. Lucky for him that everyone else was mediocre and that the judges seem to be pimping him. It's actually irresponsible that they are going all out to make him sound better than he does.

I think the bottom 3 will be Deanjaya, Elise and Hollie. Swiss Miss should get the axe, as she is trending towards mediocrity and Deanjaya's stock is rising, much to all of our chagrin. I'm ok with either one of them leaving. Let's hope that Elise gets enough votes from rockers that remember her last two weeks performances were topnotch and she deserves to stay.

And finally, I can't believe no one did a Duran Duran or Flock of Seagulls song!!! It's the 80s, ya noobs!!!


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