So last night, I had to sit through the whole one hour show, including those nauseating commercials to catch Idol, due to my DVR being on the fritz. It was a long hour, to say the least.
I was not impressed with their recaps of the previous night's songs--they were too short, and I didn't get a feel for what was what. What little I did see gave the impression that Cookie is in the driver's seat to win this thing.
So, let's recap the "kick-off" show. I don't usually do these, but I gotta get out of my comfort zone once in a while, eh?
First of all, I thought the format of the show was actually pretty good. The hometown visits were impressive and overwhelming to our performers. The first one was little Bear-hair Archuletta. He must have felt like the Beatles when all the goofy little teenieboppers were screaming at him and crying and trying to rip out his bear lettuce. Starchie is clearly not down with this element, so God bless him for being such an "innocent." I hope he stays that way, as fame has a knack of wrecking even the sturdiest of souls.
Ok, so let's cut to commercial--duh, like we didn't see that coming. The Ford commercial was one of the lamest I've seen. They really pushed the envelope on worshipping materialistic goods. "Hey look at my cars, SUVS and pools! I am famous, so go f*** yourselves!" I think they could have sent a more appropriate message.
Next, we have the former Idol winner Phantasia returning to perform. It was more like Spaz-tasia meets Woody Woodpecker. What the f*** was that garb
age? That may well be the single worst former-Idol performance I have ever witnessed. And unlike Syscreecha, who is eye-candy, Phantasia is more like eye-headcheese. What the he11 was that bright red crap on her noggin? Is she auditioning for Grace Jone's part in Conan the Destroyer? The only thing she destroyed was her reputation as a respected artist. I am not sure I understood a thing that came out of her mouth. Good grief ,that was bad, and did you see Simon's face during that trainwreck? I was laughing my @ss off!So back to the good performers.... Sloesha was next on her trip home. I think her dad needs to understand what TMI means. Did he really have to tell a zillion people that his daughter singing is keeping him off crack and meth? It may be a good story, but not to be shared by everyone and their dog. She also went back to the Doll-Head look, much to my chagrin. She is drop-dead with straight hair and could be a model. actress, whatever. Oh well, to each their own.
And then Cookie. Neat story about his brother, and then he went on stage as well. Cook's trip home was pretty cool, but I must say it was turned up a hundred notches when he returned to his elementary school and brought his old music teacher flowers. It was one of those things that warms the cockles of the heart ( I have no idea what a cockle is). Seriously, that moment cemented Cook as one of my all-time fave idol contestants---he is a class act.
And without further ado and further embarrassment (Spaz-tasia), here we go with the Top 3. They all stood together, and you can tell they like each other, which is cool. I didn't realize bear-hair is so wee.... He is a chihuaha among the big dogs.
So after the break (thanks Seakrust for really shocking us with THAT one), we will find out. Yes, as you know, it was poor Sloesha who got the boot. As many have predicted, it is David vs David, or DAVID vs david.
Let's face it folks, unless the Idol producer make them sing all sappy ballads next week, this is Cook's contest to lose. The final song will be some melodramatic load of sap with too many backup singers (as is the custom). The smart cookie will figure out a way to beat the balladeering hobbit at his own game. It will be a great competition. But seriously, who the he11 is going to sell more records? Look at Daughtry's #s compared to Reuben, Clay and Elliot's. It's not even close.
Stay tuned for the battle royale. And will somebody please tape it for me, just in case my effing DVR blows up on me again? Thanks!
OUT
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