Krispy Lee Cook said she would "blow the socks off" Simon. After she said it, she and Ryan SeaKrust giggled about the multiple interpretations that this phrase represents. It was just one of many uncomfortable exchanges the contestants had with Simon last night.
Is it me, or was Simon Scowl in a piss-poor mood? He went beyond his normal arrogant dismissals and really laid the wood on these poor kids. Well, except for Davey Archulettuce. Archie performed to "master-class" levels on his sappy "long and winding road". If you ask me, it was the most boring performance of the night. The song should have been called, "The long-winded and long-winding road to curing insomnia."
Overall, the song choices were interesting and I will go against the judges and say I rather enjoyed most of them and I was entertained (dammit)! Yah, many of the performers didn't do as well as they did last week, but last week was pretty exceptional. How can you top what can't be topped? In any event, here are the breakdowns for the evening...
1. A man da Overdrive: Elvira rocked it out with "Back in the USSR" and even though it was raw and rough in parts, I liked it! Of course, I am biased due to my preference in musical genres. That being said, it was pretty good, but not great. She sassed Simon and told him she didn't care if she played in a bar in some BF town in the middle of nowhere.
2. Krappy Lee Cook: I don't care how good she looks--this was a horrid performance and vocal. I could barely recognize "You've got to Hide your Love Away" after she took her tone-deaf scalpel from he11 and carved this Beatle song into audio gristle. Please Hide and GO away!
3. Davey Arghhhuleta: ARGGGHHH, another maple syrup coated ballad. Yes, it was good and he did redeem himself from last week's catastrophe. The little chicks dig him though--how can anyone compete against that? Teen girls should have their cell phones taken away every Tuesday night.
4. Queensland Shrimp Michael: The Aussie tackled a pretty difficult song with "A Day in the Life." Again, maybe it wasn't freaking awesome, but I was entertained and the arrangement was really unique. I think the judges were too hard on Outback jack this time around. And I am one of his biggest critics! Still, he hasn't connected with the perfect song yet.
5. Babbling Brooke White: The name really fits this week, as she wouldn't shut the f*** up after the song was over. I really like Brooke, but even she got on my nerves this time. First of all, the song was atrocious. Secondly, the yellow dress to me, represented cheese, not the sun. And thirdly, the dancing and hand movements reminded me of some doped out 60's hippee chick running around a field while on a bad acid trip. Hopefully, this is her "off" week.
6. David Lee Cookie: His vocals get better every week and this week was no exception. I normally don't even like the song "Day Tripper", but Cook's version was incredible. UNTIL that godforsaken voicebox came into play. I think it ruined the song for him and it lost the momentum David had built. Again, Simon was being a little pr*ck, but at least Cookie didn't talk back this time.
7. Carl E. Smithson: Did anyone see her husband in the audience? I'd like to see him interview for a job outside of Tattoo Artist, Bartender, Serial Killer. To each their own I guess, but WOW, that man is painted up! In any event, Carly was fantastic yet again on a really hard song (Blackbird). Of course, Oscar the Cowell came out of his garbage can and tossed bird poo her way. Sorry Simon, I agree with you most of the time, but yer just being a DIK now.
8. Hemp-head Castro: (hey I gotta come up with something new, eh?) Hempy did a really weird song, one that I never heard of. Usually, I frown upon that, but this cat continues to pique my interest. His goofy grin and silly interviews probably get him votes, but I also think he's pretty effing talented. That being said, this song (Michelle My Belle) was just AIGHT with me DOG.
9. Sushi Mercury: Sushi looked fantastic last night and I stopped disliking her for a moment. She also did a very emotional version of "Yesterday" and she really sold me on it. I'm not a huge fan, but I thought it was a very touching performance. Now please leave your hair alone and quit putting it in that Mickey Mouse 'fro!
10. Chicks Squeeze-me Eze: It would be hard to top what he did last week (which was fantastic), but I'll be darned--he pert near pulled it off! I really hated the beginning of this song (I've Just Seen a Face), and if he would have continued singing it ballad-style, I would have punched Chikadee in the pouch for murdering a fun song. To my delight, he kicked it into high gear and blew it out! Again, the song would have been much better without the weird harmonica thing.
11. Romeo Makoshark: I almost forgot about her... After Chicky sung, I was like, "hey, who the he11 is left???" That is how forgettable Ramielle has become. She is such a sweety, but song choices have been her undoing. Her choice of songs this week is very fitting... "I Should have Known Better." The answer is YES. Nice performance, but again, I can't really remember much.
So, I really liked the show and I thought everyone did a pretty good job (except Krappy Lee) but nothing was THAT exceptional.
Rankings for Beatles Night II:
David Cookie Jarvis
David Arghhuleta
Carl E. Smithson
Chik Squeeze Me
Sushi Mercado
Hemp-boy Castro
Mikey Long Johns
Babbling Brook OCheese
Amanda Overdrive
Rameel Malokar
Krappy Lee Cook
There were 10 decent performances last night and ONE crummy one. That makes a pretty good Top 10 for the tour. The bottom 3 will be....
Krappy Lee Cook, Amanda Overdrive, Rameel Malokar with FINALLY Krappy going home (she can blow Simon's socks later)!
OUT
Is it me, or was Simon Scowl in a piss-poor mood? He went beyond his normal arrogant dismissals and really laid the wood on these poor kids. Well, except for Davey Archulettuce. Archie performed to "master-class" levels on his sappy "long and winding road". If you ask me, it was the most boring performance of the night. The song should have been called, "The long-winded and long-winding road to curing insomnia."
Overall, the song choices were interesting and I will go against the judges and say I rather enjoyed most of them and I was entertained (dammit)! Yah, many of the performers didn't do as well as they did last week, but last week was pretty exceptional. How can you top what can't be topped? In any event, here are the breakdowns for the evening...
1. A man da Overdrive: Elvira rocked it out with "Back in the USSR" and even though it was raw and rough in parts, I liked it! Of course, I am biased due to my preference in musical genres. That being said, it was pretty good, but not great. She sassed Simon and told him she didn't care if she played in a bar in some BF town in the middle of nowhere.
2. Krappy Lee Cook: I don't care how good she looks--this was a horrid performance and vocal. I could barely recognize "You've got to Hide your Love Away" after she took her tone-deaf scalpel from he11 and carved this Beatle song into audio gristle. Please Hide and GO away!
3. Davey Arghhhuleta: ARGGGHHH, another maple syrup coated ballad. Yes, it was good and he did redeem himself from last week's catastrophe. The little chicks dig him though--how can anyone compete against that? Teen girls should have their cell phones taken away every Tuesday night.
4. Queensland Shrimp Michael: The Aussie tackled a pretty difficult song with "A Day in the Life." Again, maybe it wasn't freaking awesome, but I was entertained and the arrangement was really unique. I think the judges were too hard on Outback jack this time around. And I am one of his biggest critics! Still, he hasn't connected with the perfect song yet.
5. Babbling Brooke White: The name really fits this week, as she wouldn't shut the f*** up after the song was over. I really like Brooke, but even she got on my nerves this time. First of all, the song was atrocious. Secondly, the yellow dress to me, represented cheese, not the sun. And thirdly, the dancing and hand movements reminded me of some doped out 60's hippee chick running around a field while on a bad acid trip. Hopefully, this is her "off" week.
6. David Lee Cookie: His vocals get better every week and this week was no exception. I normally don't even like the song "Day Tripper", but Cook's version was incredible. UNTIL that godforsaken voicebox came into play. I think it ruined the song for him and it lost the momentum David had built. Again, Simon was being a little pr*ck, but at least Cookie didn't talk back this time.
7. Carl E. Smithson: Did anyone see her husband in the audience? I'd like to see him interview for a job outside of Tattoo Artist, Bartender, Serial Killer. To each their own I guess, but WOW, that man is painted up! In any event, Carly was fantastic yet again on a really hard song (Blackbird). Of course, Oscar the Cowell came out of his garbage can and tossed bird poo her way. Sorry Simon, I agree with you most of the time, but yer just being a DIK now.
8. Hemp-head Castro: (hey I gotta come up with something new, eh?) Hempy did a really weird song, one that I never heard of. Usually, I frown upon that, but this cat continues to pique my interest. His goofy grin and silly interviews probably get him votes, but I also think he's pretty effing talented. That being said, this song (Michelle My Belle) was just AIGHT with me DOG.
9. Sushi Mercury: Sushi looked fantastic last night and I stopped disliking her for a moment. She also did a very emotional version of "Yesterday" and she really sold me on it. I'm not a huge fan, but I thought it was a very touching performance. Now please leave your hair alone and quit putting it in that Mickey Mouse 'fro!
10. Chicks Squeeze-me Eze: It would be hard to top what he did last week (which was fantastic), but I'll be darned--he pert near pulled it off! I really hated the beginning of this song (I've Just Seen a Face), and if he would have continued singing it ballad-style, I would have punched Chikadee in the pouch for murdering a fun song. To my delight, he kicked it into high gear and blew it out! Again, the song would have been much better without the weird harmonica thing.
11. Romeo Makoshark: I almost forgot about her... After Chicky sung, I was like, "hey, who the he11 is left???" That is how forgettable Ramielle has become. She is such a sweety, but song choices have been her undoing. Her choice of songs this week is very fitting... "I Should have Known Better." The answer is YES. Nice performance, but again, I can't really remember much.
So, I really liked the show and I thought everyone did a pretty good job (except Krappy Lee) but nothing was THAT exceptional.
Rankings for Beatles Night II:
David Cookie Jarvis
David Arghhuleta
Carl E. Smithson
Chik Squeeze Me
Sushi Mercado
Hemp-boy Castro
Mikey Long Johns
Babbling Brook OCheese
Amanda Overdrive
Rameel Malokar
Krappy Lee Cook
There were 10 decent performances last night and ONE crummy one. That makes a pretty good Top 10 for the tour. The bottom 3 will be....
Krappy Lee Cook, Amanda Overdrive, Rameel Malokar with FINALLY Krappy going home (she can blow Simon's socks later)!
OUT
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