Last night, we were treated with sonic abuse as the boys ripped into the 80's genre with the power of tofu. I was an 80's kid, so I was really looking forward to what the lads would perform. To sum it up succinctly, I wasn't lovin the song choices. There were two notably good performances and the rest of them reached the impressive levels of "blah" or "yadda". In fact, they didn't even deserve the other 2 blahs, or yaddas.
One other thing that I must point out is that Paula Abdullah Oblongata was completely whacked out on Meth last night. Her non-stop bumbling buffoonery set the bar for setting the English language back 8000 years when Cave dwellers went around saying "oomph" and "bwokk" She studdered and stammered and ranted nonsensically after every performance. Am I the only one to notice?
Ok, so let's talk 80's music...
1. Puke Menard: How much longer can Helium-boy last? His girly-man rendition of an already wussy song made me want to hurl. If McStubbly lasts another week, I will pull my eyelid hair out.
2. Golden Archuleta: Although the vocal performance was impressive and near flawless, I must agree with Simon Scowl that his song choices are in danger of getting depressing. Need to lighten up Archie!!!
3. Fanny Norigaya: Fanny-boy, let's just face it, he is from an alternative lifestyle (nothing wrong with that). But I think he flaunts it quite profusely with his nutty hand and body language and the way he vents and whines. His version of Tainted Love was tainted, and I didn't love it. I do think he has good vocals, but his song choices are cheesy.
4. Chippendale Hernandez: David, as recently reported, used to be a stripper (see pic below). I look at him, and think... what kind of paint or stain? In any event, his full frontal onslaught of a song I never heard of was plain jane at best. YAWN....
5. Outback Mike J: Not sure what happened to this guy, but I would not put him as an early favorite anymore. Great song choice, but his high notes, like last week, bordered on yelling and not tuned very well.
6. Dave "short order" Cook: After the little attitude adjustment from last week (don't argue with Simon), Cookie Crisp is back with a vengeance adding some welcome rough edges to Lionel Ritchie. And it worked like a freakin charm. Best of the night, easily. Hands down.
7. Deathlok Castro: The Dred Patrol will be in full force when Jason gets closer to the Finals. As I've said earlier on, this guy is a huge talent (like Blake from last year). He is artistically the best in the competition. If he can keep tossing musical curveballs and do them well, he will go a ways.
8. Chickezie McNugget: After the last two guys went, this performance was as empty as Paula's head. Absolutely boring and irrelevant. Gary Coleman v2 has toned down the attitude, but could if be too late? I have no desire to see or hear any more of his whiny soul atrocities.
As I mentioned earlier, only two singers made a positive impact on me... Cookie and Dred-boy. The rest of the bunch need to bring their game next week because they are all mired in the middle of the pack (except Puke Save Big Money at Menard). He is a goner.
Ratings for this week:
1. Short Order Cook
2. Deathlock Castro
3. Golden Archuleta
4. Outback Mike
5. Chip'nStrip Hernandez
6. Fanny Norigaya
7. McChicken Eze
8. Puke Menard
Predictions: Last week, America got it WAY wrong with the ladies. Vote for the Worst is at it again. However, I don't think anything will save Puke Home Depot this time. The other dude going home SHOULD be McWheezy Eze, but I got a feeler that says America will surprise us again.
OUT
One other thing that I must point out is that Paula Abdullah Oblongata was completely whacked out on Meth last night. Her non-stop bumbling buffoonery set the bar for setting the English language back 8000 years when Cave dwellers went around saying "oomph" and "bwokk" She studdered and stammered and ranted nonsensically after every performance. Am I the only one to notice?
Ok, so let's talk 80's music...
1. Puke Menard: How much longer can Helium-boy last? His girly-man rendition of an already wussy song made me want to hurl. If McStubbly lasts another week, I will pull my eyelid hair out.
2. Golden Archuleta: Although the vocal performance was impressive and near flawless, I must agree with Simon Scowl that his song choices are in danger of getting depressing. Need to lighten up Archie!!!
3. Fanny Norigaya: Fanny-boy, let's just face it, he is from an alternative lifestyle (nothing wrong with that). But I think he flaunts it quite profusely with his nutty hand and body language and the way he vents and whines. His version of Tainted Love was tainted, and I didn't love it. I do think he has good vocals, but his song choices are cheesy.
4. Chippendale Hernandez: David, as recently reported, used to be a stripper (see pic below). I look at him, and think... what kind of paint or stain? In any event, his full frontal onslaught of a song I never heard of was plain jane at best. YAWN....
5. Outback Mike J: Not sure what happened to this guy, but I would not put him as an early favorite anymore. Great song choice, but his high notes, like last week, bordered on yelling and not tuned very well.
6. Dave "short order" Cook: After the little attitude adjustment from last week (don't argue with Simon), Cookie Crisp is back with a vengeance adding some welcome rough edges to Lionel Ritchie. And it worked like a freakin charm. Best of the night, easily. Hands down.
7. Deathlok Castro: The Dred Patrol will be in full force when Jason gets closer to the Finals. As I've said earlier on, this guy is a huge talent (like Blake from last year). He is artistically the best in the competition. If he can keep tossing musical curveballs and do them well, he will go a ways.
8. Chickezie McNugget: After the last two guys went, this performance was as empty as Paula's head. Absolutely boring and irrelevant. Gary Coleman v2 has toned down the attitude, but could if be too late? I have no desire to see or hear any more of his whiny soul atrocities.
As I mentioned earlier, only two singers made a positive impact on me... Cookie and Dred-boy. The rest of the bunch need to bring their game next week because they are all mired in the middle of the pack (except Puke Save Big Money at Menard). He is a goner.
Ratings for this week:
1. Short Order Cook
2. Deathlock Castro
3. Golden Archuleta
4. Outback Mike
5. Chip'nStrip Hernandez
6. Fanny Norigaya
7. McChicken Eze
8. Puke Menard
Predictions: Last week, America got it WAY wrong with the ladies. Vote for the Worst is at it again. However, I don't think anything will save Puke Home Depot this time. The other dude going home SHOULD be McWheezy Eze, but I got a feeler that says America will surprise us again.
OUT
No comments:
Post a Comment