It's Raining Royals

Due to BUSY time, I'll be keeping this short folks... Last night was British and 60's themes. Elise missed her boat on this one! She had all that classic British rock at her fingertips. Speaking of poor Elise, I told a few of you after the fact, that I wasn't surprised she was gone, for the following reasons:

a. Idiots and tweens are voting for the wrong people
b. Song Choice, song choice, song choice
c. Not the right demographic for typical voters (again, those teenage rodents making their impact felt throughout history).

That said, and with Hollie coming on strong, I guess it is easy to see any of them leaving the show at this point.

Very cool to see Silvio from the Sopranos as the guest mentor. His rapport with Jimmy "the hat" Bovine was pretty entertaining! I felt as though someone was gonna get whacked.

Let's get it on, cmon!

1. Holy Caymanislands - River Deep Mountain High: I believe this got the only Standing O of the night by the cheese-filled judging panel. Great song choice, great advice from Silvio and great performance by Swiss Miss. Solid A; 2nd Song - Bleeding Love: Hollie's voice is like buttah! It's so smooth and tasty! Seriously, AWESOME job and thanks again go to Silvio for his advice to her to just sing to "one" person, not a huge crowd. It was a little sappy for me, but perfectly executed. A-

2. Philly Cheese - The Letter: Mr. "No Melody" picks a good song and "phil-asized" it completely to his "wheelhouse". Still, it just comes across as typical Phil-andering and Phil-osophy... Been there done that, Capt Drab. Because I still like Phil and he's fun, B; 2nd Song - Time of the Season: It's time in the season to probably vote Phil out, unfortunately. This was Phil's worst performance EVER. I think he's performed better in his sleep, with a mouthful of chiclets. Although he shot for melody, he came up with travesty, and the falsettos and high parts ate him alive. I actually cringed like hearing nails on a chalkboard when the chorus came up... Oh my that was like watching your best friend jump down a elevator shaft. C-

3. Skillet Laine - Fortunate Son: Skylar brings her usual peppy and enthusiastic self to the party as usual, but for some reason, this didn't affect me at all. It was a bit milquetoast for my taste. The song has been done a zillion times before, this one added twang and sickening steel guitars. Hello Phil, new chalkboard is in town! Anyway, not my fave for Skylar... B; 2nd Song - You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me: Sung much better and intimately than her first one. However, what the hell was this getup with people sitting on a park bench. How distracting is that. And is Skylar singing to them or about them? I'd be choking them for stealing my scenery--those chuckleheads. A-

Duet #1 - Philly and Josh-duh: Honestly, how could you take this seriously? It was sung either poorly, or over the top, or both. I did like Phil's fearless banter with Joshy before and after the performance, but seemed like Joshy was taking offense to the flirtatious overtones of one Philip the Prince of priceless facial tics Phillips. Geez, Josh, a bit homophobic, or maybe just don’t like other dudes getting in his personal space... hmmmm Sorry guys, this was C (which stands for comedy, calamity, catastrophe)

Jesska Spamcheese - Proud Mary: Started in typical Jessica balladic style, which was boring, then got fist pumping good. Jessica was up to task on the "rock" sensibilities of the song, which she bombed miserably on last week. Overall, nicely done and with a solid money note at the end. A-; 2nd Song - You are So Beautiful: This kind of song is perfect for Jessica's syrup-like delivery--she knows how her bread is buttered. The sitting on the floor with candles was interesting---thank goodness her dress didn't catch! Grade: A

Josh "the anointed one" Ludevisk - Aint Too Proud to Beg: or too proud to pick something out of your comfort zone. This was like having Skylar sing Chattahoochie Koochy, or some silly country song that a 4 year old could sing. No challenge whatsoever, but the judges continue to salivate and ooze green slime over this guy. Yes, he's very good, but he is not the best Idol ever, or whatever pompous thing Steven said. Therefore, Josh gets the annual title of "the anointed one." Song only gets a B; 2nd song - To Love Somebody: Better than his first song, but at that point I was too distracted by Josh's greatness that all I could see were sparkles in his teeth and eyes as the sound of Heaven was emanating from this man. According to the bum-licking judges, Josh will save the planet with his music like Bill and Ted did in "Excellent Adventure. Unfortunately, it feels more like a bogus journey. Song=A Judge Buttwiping=D-

Triplet #2 - Jessica, Hollie and Reba - Your Love is Lifting me Higher: the two divas and the ghost of Reba take on this song and despite the weird arrangement, I thought it was fun and showcased all three pretty equally. I would probably give Hollie the nod for the best of the three. It's just her night! A-

Rankings for the night:

Hollie
Josh
Skylar
Jessica
Phil :(

Sorry Philly, you were simply outclassed for the first time all season by all your competition. Damn those kidney stones. I do like watching his demonic possession faces he makes as he sings--very beguiling.

Bottom three is anyone's guess, but I am going with Hollie, Jessica and Phil. I think Phil has been bailing water out of a sinking boat for quite some time, and he is finally resigned to letting the old rust bucket go under. Good to know ye!

I wish him well--he was a good sport. Stay tuned next week for 3 Divas and a Judge's Pet.

I can't wait for Hollie to win this whole thing--man, I love comebacks!!!


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