Idol made its way to the Bay Area last night, and for being such a large populace, it was extremely disappointing. 12 people are moving on to Hollow-wood.
The show started off with what could be argued as the most annoying contestant ever. The laughing hyena, supposedly form Puerto Rico, rudely and abruptly skewered my ear drums with a boisterous and blistering giggle from 10 leagues below “hell” level. She needed to be pushed to the floor. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and she actually sung ok. I doubt this chucklehead will get past Hollywood, as her ego is bigger than her mouth. She’s a model/singer/dancer/actress/construction worker/pro football player, etc. And oh, by the way, nice fake accent, you Noob! Funny how she went from the Puerto Rican accent to plain old English…hahahahaha… hahahaha ha-ha.
Albino Beatboxer came up next and about put me to sleep with that crapchester performance.
The next guy takes the cake for appearances. He is wearing this plaid Herman Munster coat that is 15 sizes too big, but somehow seems appropriate. He looks like he may be part gorilla. If you morphed a gorilla with Tom Jones, you would have this guy. He actually wasn’t that bad, but his ape-like facial gestures and orangutan-colored hair got him fired. Welcome to the Jungle, baby—you gonna dieeeeeee!
Other notables on the show were Jesus and his 12 kids. How does someone who is auditioning for Idol have grown kids already? Did this guy start having babies when he was 15? In any event, Hayzeus is pretty good and gets the nod to go through. The kids were actually pretty cool and helped sway the judges to sing praise to Jesus.
There were a couple good girls that got very little airtime but made it through—why can’t we see them? Instead we are subjected to the aural and visual torture of Akilah, the girl with the notebook of medical terms about one’s esophagus, trachea, et al. The Idol producers can take a leap into a pool of cess for having me sit through this rancid segment. I wish I could have those 10 minutes back. Her singing was not horrible, nor was it any good—it was just blah. At least give me something to laugh about! The only remotely funny thing was her statement about rectums and singing from her reproductive areas…nice.
The dude from Hollywood who is in the play “Wicked” put on a wicked rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody—he was spot on—finally a candidate worthy of making it further. And lastly, the guy who is taking care of his mom—great story, great voice, great chance to go far. Simon Scowl said he had the personality of a cruise ship singer. I think I know what he meant, but it kind of came off as harsh.
Overall, SF was as stale as a 6 year old box of Rice-a-Roni, but I can see those last 2 going pretty far in this competition.
OUT
The show started off with what could be argued as the most annoying contestant ever. The laughing hyena, supposedly form Puerto Rico, rudely and abruptly skewered my ear drums with a boisterous and blistering giggle from 10 leagues below “hell” level. She needed to be pushed to the floor. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and she actually sung ok. I doubt this chucklehead will get past Hollywood, as her ego is bigger than her mouth. She’s a model/singer/dancer/actress/construction worker/pro football player, etc. And oh, by the way, nice fake accent, you Noob! Funny how she went from the Puerto Rican accent to plain old English…hahahahaha… hahahaha ha-ha.
Albino Beatboxer came up next and about put me to sleep with that crapchester performance.
The next guy takes the cake for appearances. He is wearing this plaid Herman Munster coat that is 15 sizes too big, but somehow seems appropriate. He looks like he may be part gorilla. If you morphed a gorilla with Tom Jones, you would have this guy. He actually wasn’t that bad, but his ape-like facial gestures and orangutan-colored hair got him fired. Welcome to the Jungle, baby—you gonna dieeeeeee!
Other notables on the show were Jesus and his 12 kids. How does someone who is auditioning for Idol have grown kids already? Did this guy start having babies when he was 15? In any event, Hayzeus is pretty good and gets the nod to go through. The kids were actually pretty cool and helped sway the judges to sing praise to Jesus.
There were a couple good girls that got very little airtime but made it through—why can’t we see them? Instead we are subjected to the aural and visual torture of Akilah, the girl with the notebook of medical terms about one’s esophagus, trachea, et al. The Idol producers can take a leap into a pool of cess for having me sit through this rancid segment. I wish I could have those 10 minutes back. Her singing was not horrible, nor was it any good—it was just blah. At least give me something to laugh about! The only remotely funny thing was her statement about rectums and singing from her reproductive areas…nice.
The dude from Hollywood who is in the play “Wicked” put on a wicked rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody—he was spot on—finally a candidate worthy of making it further. And lastly, the guy who is taking care of his mom—great story, great voice, great chance to go far. Simon Scowl said he had the personality of a cruise ship singer. I think I know what he meant, but it kind of came off as harsh.
Overall, SF was as stale as a 6 year old box of Rice-a-Roni, but I can see those last 2 going pretty far in this competition.
OUT
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