Speaking of lost, this episode of Idol was a lost cause. I feel like I just watched those boring outtakes and deleted scenes from a straight-to-DVD movie. This may have been the single most obtusely boring Audition show ever. No really good ones, no really bad ones—just blahhhhh.
So we are in Jacksonville, which, as Ryan puts it, “is where Florida starts.” I don’t even have a frickin clue as to what that means. That statement makes about as much sense as Simon’s insistence on wearing K-Mart v-neck undershirts to every audition. Nice man-b00bs, by the way…
So here’s a little recap of the inaction:
Average
Suck
Suck
Ok
Suck
Yawn
Zzzzz
Suck
Ok
Mediocre
Suck
Ok
I thought the first guy would blow like Guarini, but he did ok, even though he added Police Academy sound effects to the song. And why is it cool to compare yourself to the worst runner-up in Idol history?
Then there was the girl with shi-tzu. I thought her singing sounded like shitz too. It wasn’t horrible, but she added those Britny Fears “nails on a chalkboard” sounds to it. EGAD.
There were a couple more boring auditions, including one from Miss Candidita from Nutbag-land. Was it necessary to wear your tiara to the audition (well at least it wasn’t a bikini). Her laugh was like 400 hyenas jumping out of a burning helicopter.
Seacrust then gets lost on his golf cart—what programming genius put this in there? An accidental photograph of your ceiling has more imagination than this.
Next up is the Town Crier, who cried when his buddy didn’t make it, then he didn’t make it. This is just pathetic, not entertaining.
I almost laughed when the girl who compares herself to Mariah Carey obliterated her song as her friend sat on Randy’s bus-stop size lap, but then she started crying too when Simon asked her if she was serious. Nice touch, v-neck-man
The most bizarre on the show last night had to be that Grizzly Adams wannabe Physics student. Do the laws of physics deter you from trimming that pelican nest of tangled hair? There was no way this was a serious audition—everything about this guy was cooked up in a meth lab. Hey dingus, Jack Link is looking for their
sasquatch!
The real injustice of last night’s show was the kid with the guitar. He was certainly good enough to go through to the next round, but they all said NO. Are you effing kidding me? After seeing some of those yo-yos get through and not this guy?
All in all, the show was a real bowzer last night. I think they may be doing this on purpose in order to make Hollyweird week more meaningful, and as a vehicle to get to know the singers better. The auditions so far, especially the “good” ones, have been pretty forgettable.
Maybe we’ll get lucky in Salt Lake tonight—bring the bush babies and william hungs of the world. If not, expect another yawn-inspiring milli vanilli envy convention.
OUT
So we are in Jacksonville, which, as Ryan puts it, “is where Florida starts.” I don’t even have a frickin clue as to what that means. That statement makes about as much sense as Simon’s insistence on wearing K-Mart v-neck undershirts to every audition. Nice man-b00bs, by the way…
So here’s a little recap of the inaction:
Average
Suck
Suck
Ok
Suck
Yawn
Zzzzz
Suck
Ok
Mediocre
Suck
Ok
I thought the first guy would blow like Guarini, but he did ok, even though he added Police Academy sound effects to the song. And why is it cool to compare yourself to the worst runner-up in Idol history?
Then there was the girl with shi-tzu. I thought her singing sounded like shitz too. It wasn’t horrible, but she added those Britny Fears “nails on a chalkboard” sounds to it. EGAD.
There were a couple more boring auditions, including one from Miss Candidita from Nutbag-land. Was it necessary to wear your tiara to the audition (well at least it wasn’t a bikini). Her laugh was like 400 hyenas jumping out of a burning helicopter.
Seacrust then gets lost on his golf cart—what programming genius put this in there? An accidental photograph of your ceiling has more imagination than this.
Next up is the Town Crier, who cried when his buddy didn’t make it, then he didn’t make it. This is just pathetic, not entertaining.
I almost laughed when the girl who compares herself to Mariah Carey obliterated her song as her friend sat on Randy’s bus-stop size lap, but then she started crying too when Simon asked her if she was serious. Nice touch, v-neck-man
The most bizarre on the show last night had to be that Grizzly Adams wannabe Physics student. Do the laws of physics deter you from trimming that pelican nest of tangled hair? There was no way this was a serious audition—everything about this guy was cooked up in a meth lab. Hey dingus, Jack Link is looking for their
sasquatch!The real injustice of last night’s show was the kid with the guitar. He was certainly good enough to go through to the next round, but they all said NO. Are you effing kidding me? After seeing some of those yo-yos get through and not this guy?
All in all, the show was a real bowzer last night. I think they may be doing this on purpose in order to make Hollyweird week more meaningful, and as a vehicle to get to know the singers better. The auditions so far, especially the “good” ones, have been pretty forgettable.
Maybe we’ll get lucky in Salt Lake tonight—bring the bush babies and william hungs of the world. If not, expect another yawn-inspiring milli vanilli envy convention.
OUT
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