Lips, JLOWW and Randy were in magnanimous spirits last night as it was like pulling Paul McDonald's teeth to elicit a negative quip from them. Obviously, the top-to-bottom talent on the show is at an all-time high and that makes it much more difficult to cast stones or in some cases, roses.
So here we go. Tonight starts off with a bang as one of "the anointed ones" kicks it off...
Laurena Alaina Twaina: Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain - Good way to start off the show, something upbeat and non-ballady. Which is what she said, thank you very much. Even with the addition of the Olson twins doing backups, the judges were a little lukewarm on it because they want people to feel sorry for her, which means more votes. Nice strategy and sweet jeggings! Solid B
Casey Grizzly Abrams: With a Little Help from my Friends by Joe Cocker - Using the steps as a prop this early in the competition means Casey likes to sit on steps. But seriously, good song for the scraggly bearded one. It reminded me a little of Graylor Hicks, as he was known for doing upbeat, well-known songs while using lots of body language and unique facial tics. B+
Ashthon Kutcher Jones: When You Tell Me That You Love Me by Diana Ross - Diva Knievel started out a little shaky at the beginning and never really got it going on this unknown Ross tune. HEY lady! You squeaked by in the Wildcard round--how about picking a winning song and NOT singing like you're in a high school talent show? C
Paul Dentyne McDonald: Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams - Who the he11 is Ryan Adams? Does he also dress like a carhop? First I thought he was going to sing "Summer of 69" by BRYAN Adams, which I would loathe since it is done incessantly every season. But after hearing this quivering pile of WTF, I think I would actually prefer the ubiquitous "Summer" song. C-
Mama Pia Toscano: All By Myself by Celine Dion - Singer or Supermodel? Total package here folks. Not a huge Celine fan, but she sang it adequately. Not great, but pretty good. Criminy, it doesn't matter--she could sing with ping pong balls in her mouth and people will put her through. You go girl! B+
Turbo James Durbin: Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney - The Turbo-charged Durbinator strikes again. His older self would have tortured this song with that whacked out range of his. However, he has shown considerable growth and restraint when needed. If he keeps this up, he will be in the finals. He was amazing, and no maybes about it. A
Jacob Lusk of the Irish - I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly - This song is sung every season, sometimes multiple times per season. I believe I can puke, if I ever hear it again. To hear Jacob over-sing the living bejeezus out of it made me want to beat the living lusk out of him and his pen salesmen suit. Unlike Durbin who can practice restraint, Lusk pushed his singing right off the ledge. D
Thia Tequila: Smile by Michael Jackson - It will be hard to top what Thia did last week, and sure enough, this week was a letdown. It wasn't bad per se, but she raised the bar to the statosphere last week. This week, was an inevitable letdown. That said, it was still a decent performance. B-
Joey Steffano Langone: Lately by Stevie Wonder - Meh. Chandler and Ross thought i
t lacked chut
zpah. I concur with them. As the song was boring me to sleep, I could't help but notice the clothing selections. The Sicilian Eskimo Biker look must be an LA thing. I think he put his wardrobe together via slot machine. FAIL. D+Scotty McRichieCunningham: The River by Garth Brooks - If there is one person who will make an album IMMEDIATELY after this show, it's Beam me up Scotty. Some Country record label is chompin' at the bit for Scotty to get mule-kicked to the curb. He sung this song so effortlessly, but it will be interesting if they ever make him sing out of his country-comfort zone. A
Naima Odetopepper: Umbrella by Rihanna - Crazy girl, all over da place! Unforunately, as lively and enraptured as her movements are, the voice does not match up. It's not horrible, but it definitely is underwhelming. Do you all overstand this? Naima is a like a box of chocolates. Is she Godiva or that disgusting Russell Stover box of penguin sh*t? Time will tell... B-
Grading out the performers was a bit tougher this week, as there were 13 performers and none of them really stunk. Some of the song choices (as usual) begged for lobotomization, but calling out clear cut winners and losers not that easy.
Rankings for "Idol Worship" week:
James
Scotty
Pia
Casey
Laurena
Thia
Haley
Naima
Paul
Ashthon
Karen
"Joey"
Jacob
At this early stage, it is hard to determine who is going home, but I'm pretty confident that Joey will be in the bottom three. Although Jacob drove me nuts and is sitting at the bottom, he will NO WAY in he11 get voted out now.
So... Joey, Karen and Ashthon in the bottom. Ashthon going home! Diva Con Dios baby!
Ladies better step up next week--the guys kicked their @sses this week, at least in the top 5.
OUT
2 comments:
I dunno. I think that Casey was pretty good. My wife and I think he looks like Yukon Cornelius from Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Maybe I'm just partial to the songs I know, too, but when they go off and do something I've never heard before, I think that is bad news for them. I get doing something that stretches them, but obscure songs hurt them for the most part.
Casey is good, I just hope he doesn't turn into another Graylor Hicks (been there done that)... I also hopes his ulcers get better--he was in the hospital again!
Totally agree with you on the "unheard of" songs. The key to winning, is picking good songs that people know, and making them original and unique!
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