Mo, Larry and Curlytown

Welcome to the Motormouth City. One of the theme nights that are consistently consistent each season has invaded our TVs once again. Don't get me wrong, I do respect Motown and its storied history, but my gosh, do we have to have it every stinkin' season? One of the thing that twists my niblets about Motown night is that it seems the same songs are done over and over again. Tonight was no exception.

I see that JLOWW has lent Lips her faux-leopard print blouse. RAWR Steven...
So here we go. I do have a miniscule bit of a better attitude this time around, as the competition is better than years past. Especially when we start with...

Grizzly Abrams - Heard it through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye/CCR and about 14 other contestants. Slick hair, but still wearing that bird habitat on his face. At least trim that thing down bro! So about the performance, hey did he just point to a guy and call him "honey?" It was good, but his pants were too loose. However, the performance was tight! A-

I see that Aerosmith guitarist Brad Whitford in the house--or is that Doctor Johnny Fever from WKRP?

Thia Tequila - Heatwave. Gee, we haven’t heard that one before (ugh) Olson Twins doing backup again... This tepid performance was pretty karaoke, nothing special. She seemed a little uncomfortable and seemed to forget some lyrics. The Jugheads, I mean judges were too easy on her I thought. B-

J Peterman Lusk - You're all I Need by Marvin Gaye: I was hoping that it didn't have more runs than my granny's pantyhose. Not as bad as last week. Is that Danny Aiello playing bass? No, it's Harvey Keitel. This was an improvement from last week, but not as great as Randy said it was... And what's with the hugs??? B

Alauren Alaina - Keep me Hangin on by the Supremes: Sweet beginning then tight transition to a more up-tempo finish. Great song choice and another fun performance from Aliena Laurena. A

Joey Tribiani (Steffano) - Nice plate of leftovers there Tony Danza. Where the hell is Judith Light to kick some @ss? Hello by Lionking Richie? Another ballad, yawn...A little dramatic and sappy, but executed efficiently... Good comments from the judges finally--he's a good ballad singer, but he's going through the motions. Smelly Cat does NOT approve! B-

Gordon Ramsey in the house--You DONKEY!! How cool would it be if he had been picked to be a judge, even for one night--he makes Simon look like Richard Simmons. New show concept: Hell's Auditions.

Hailey Rainstorm - You Really got a hold on me by Smokey Robinson: Hailey once again relies heavily on her sultry moves and "camera-friendly" postures. Voice was a little all over the place, but at least it was interesting. Nice growl by Lips which gets an A. Hailey's growling gets a solid B

Beam me up Scotty McCrazy - For Once in my Life: The kid can shoot some hoops, and as for his performance, he made it his own. Alfred E. Neuman knows how to use his voice for different genres. Nicely played at the end, even with the cheesy facial gestures. His stock continues to rise despite the goofiness... A-

Pia Tuscadero - All in Love is Fair: Pia is awesome, but another ballad? It was very dramatic and she hit the high notes. Don't love the song, but she sang the crap out of it. As JLOWW said, we need to see her own the stage and step out of the concrete overshoes. Agree with RJAX--sing something up-tempo you silly lady! A-

Denty McDonald - Tracks of my Tears by Smokey the Bear: Is he wearing skinny jeans again? Maybe a jacket with dragons should be next? Hey Paul, you're scarin' the customers! The guitar is bigger than he is, literally. Oh hello Olson Twins again. It was just alright Cougars unite--vote for Paul! B

Noxzema Adedapo - Dancin in the Street by Van Halen (haha-I wish)... that is one hell of a pair of bellbottoms. Did she hide some little circus clowns in there? Didn't love the song. Disagree with the judges--they're being too nice. the dancing was something you might see on America's Got Talons. The voice was average at best. C+

Dangerous James Durbin - Livin for the City by Stevie Wonder: Gettin the money spot tonight, but not really needing it as he once again outsmoked the competition. He made it original and rocked it out. Durbin has all the ingredients to take this competition to the end. Did you hear how loudly RJAX got booed when he started off with some criticism? A

Alright, alright, who wins the evening? Although it was yet another Motown night, this one was better than the last few. No one really sucked, and there were a couple of inspired performances.

Rankings for the Night:

Turbo Durbin
Laurena Bobbit Alaina
Scotty E Neuman
Grizzly Abrams
Pia Tuscadero
Topol McDonald
Jacob Lusky #7
Hailey Rhinestrong
Joey Tribiani
Thia Tequila
Noxzema Addpepper

Well unfortunately for Naima and Hailey, I think they are in danger of being in the bottom, along with perhaps a surprise, like maybe Casey or Paul. Thia may be also in danger, as she has been slipping.

So long Naima, it's been good to know ye!

I swear if next week is disco week, I am going to hunt down Jimmy Bovine or whatever the hell his name is and tear his hood off his permanently attached sweatshirt.

OUT